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This story is a sequel to Shout At The Devil
It's Christmas time for Rocky and the gang. But there is only one problem; Rocky had forgotten to get a gift for Sunset. Not wanting to disappoint the love of his life, Rocky had teamed up with his best demon friend, Brimstone, to search around to find the perfect gift for Sunset. Can they pull off the Christmas time save of the year? Let's hope so.
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ThE mAgIc Of ChRiStMaS
9986260
☺️
This was a pretty interesting read. It meandered a bit here and there, did a few repetitive loops, but in the end it found its direction and concluded really nicely. Also, I have to say, he may be a douchebag and a demon, but Brim is still a pretty likeable character
As for some more technical aspects of the story, the grammar and spelling were readable, though I suggest you watch out for some lengthly and run-on sentences in your future works. It makes the story flow much better. One area where you could do much better with minimal effort is punctuation. Remember that there should be no comma between the closing quotations marks and the dialogue tag/beat. Furthermore, when a character is directly addressed in direct speech, a comma should precede the address.
So, instead of:
The sentence should look like this:
Hope this bit of advice helps you become a better writer. Let me know if anything was unclear or if you have some additional questions
10100488
Thanks for the feedback. Very helpful
10100488
Thanks for the feedback. It is very helpful. I will say a little late reading it in February, but better late than never. 😂
10100876
You're welcome, glad I could help! Well, can you imagine being able to read certain stories just during specific holidays or such?