Cogni Gears
Joined 11th Oct, 2019 ·
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Not a bad start, lets see where you go.
So, first of all, nothing is really clear yet. However, I have some guesses.
I assume that the essence of the new tactic will be to plant a larva to the "host", which will impose subordination to changelings. Given the tags and the cover, I'm afraid it's going to be a mind fuck, as a way to plant a larva. I hope I'm wrong.
11775331
good day. it is quite rare to see you in the comments.
11775352
I try to check out as many new writers and stories as I can, but I'm a busy boy and always working.
11775360
It's cool. I hope you are doing well.
11775352
I hope you're right, personally! Agree to disagree.
Looks really promising to me from what I got to read.
Hope to see more of this story soon!
This seems like it's gonna be a fun read so far.
Not bad for a first time out and about.
Oh my, that's quite an interesting thumbnail you got there 👀
Why do I see an Elder Brain?
All I can think when reading this is wow I can't wait to see how the Mane Six get taken over xd
Very promising fic indeed!
11778085
Thanks!
I really like how this is going so far. The writing and dialog is great, and you've got me very excited to see how things play out with mind controlling the Mane Six.
I also really like your take on the Changeling hierarchy and hive mind. I hope we see lots more hive mind shenanigans as the Elements get assimilated.
Can't wait for more!
11778122
Thank you very much! I appreciate it.
Not often you get good writing and worldbuilding for this sort of story. I am excited to get to the infiltration.
Trademark, heh.
"Admittedly, they had failed to believe Twilight Sparkle at first,"
Twilight did all the work for Chrysalis there, acting like a complete loon damned her own logical evidence.
Don't worry, dear. There is no changelings around, you are safe.
It's all just in your HEAD.
The term rigor estrus is just perfect lole
I like not being entirely sure whats going on. Fairweather must the infiltrator, but her being a point of view and having thoughts that appear mostly innocent (though a bit horny) makes it unclear.
Also I like the depiction of Luna, and the pony lives in general so far.
Fun read, can't wait to see the mind control to really come into play. Keep it up.
Hope that little glimpse of Luna at the end is hinting at the corruption of the royals as well for the future.
Interesting
I like that Fairweather uses pegasus magic to sweep up dust with a flap of her wings. That's some nice worldbuilding.
11779197
I wonder if this is either a red herring, or perhaps Fairweather has already been infected and is a deep cover host, not even knowing what she's carrying yet.
World building!
...
horny world building. I like it.
Nice work so far! Looking forward to seeing how this goes
11779197
I figure she has to be pretty much as autonomous as a queen, which is why the idea was borderline treasonous.
Some wonderful character building!
It has to have been a few decades for drones to forget that any promotion from a dictator comes with just enough rope to hang yourself. That way, Chrysalis gets either a worthy successor, a loyal servant, or a potential rival eliminated.
I like that you are interspersing prologue chapters with the normal chapters. Much better than a very long prologue section, when we readers would rather skip to see the fruits of this changling experiment than an overly long build up.
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Inspiration: Brandon Sanderson. His works are god tier.
11780447
Ooh thanks! I may have to read some of his stuff now too
Chitis is smart, and for now she is loyal. Though the Swarmling is an unknown, and unknown that could definitely tip the hoof in any palace coup that might happen. Of course, Chrysalis will be watching like a hawk, still, quite interesting to see where this goes. Also looking forward to more lewds, though there seem plenty of that in the future.
I enjoy how the Automi are like a swarm of mad scientists. Cute little monster bugs.
11780447
Can you give me a link to his stuff?
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Not a pony author xP https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Brandon_Sanderson
If you want a link to his stuff you can probably search Amazon or anywhere that sells books, or just search PDFs for his individual books
On a related note, this makes me wonder if you've watched a nonzero number of his published lectures on writing, Cogni xP
11781513
Ahhh... thanks.
Chitis really outdid herself, a Changeling able to hide themselves from the fourth wall. Then again, being able to mask your thoughts has quite the utility in a world where magic and even mind reading magic is a thing. Be it by deep cover infiltration, the usage of an unknowing pony patient zero, or other fun ways. Still my personal prediction is that Stratus is our local Hivemind, and the narration is using exact words well to never quite tell a lie about who she really is, though I might have overread things here.
Chitis is a scientist, so it's believable that she would know the reagents for enchanted ink if this is indeed Chitis in disguise. Although the fact that Stratus has some sort of malady which causes her pain makes me think that she isn't a disguised changeling after all.
Given this new class of Changeling is suppsoed to more of a mind controller like the cat brain parascite, and Chitis calls the breed Bellum, then Pinkie would nickname one she meets, Sarah?
Sarah Belllum?
I like your perfume, reminds me of Seda Give.
11785494
So I guess we're jumping between the two parts of the story on the timeline here, and the big reveal of the first will very much coincide with the reveal of the second?
Very intriguing! Lots of theories one could make from this.
Autonomous entities? Curious.
A mystery mare coming into town for the first time, but already has a shop there? Odd...
A nifty concept, there must be complications though...
Hehe well that was an interesting method of Ascension!
Oh, she's a sleeper...
Hehe, so close!
Well, failures wouldn't count against the order of a single unit, right? If it fails, it just wasn't done correctly and this wasn't the one. 😇
She really doesn't know what's "wrong", huh? Just that there are weird times of pain during events and odd compulsions...