Gabriel10169
Joined 15th Jul, 2014 ·
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"Psychic abilities "
This is quite nice! I'd like to see where this goes.
theory: your a psychic type so obviously ghostly supernatural things occurring to you would be super-effective.
The thing about Transform, is that the user is only copying the stats and appearance of the pokemon, but the hp remains the same, plus the moves only have five powers points per use. Main character also lacks the knowledge and experience of that pokemon moveset, thus even MC could turn into any pokemon, he still needs to learn. You can also balance it and make it so that you can't transform into a Legendary pokemon.
Well, this is a interesting displace story. Just promise us that you wont being other displace characters in your story. Its going to ruining it. Dont go into full detail about moves as well. See alot of those in pokemon stories.
Congratz, you got featured. 12/16/2019.
9990878
That depends on how well the crossover is done. I've done a few that were actually good, and they even affected the plot, if only minorly. (But that was the idea anyways. No way I'm letting a crossover massively change my story.)
This looks interesting, that's for sure.
Aeyyy, I'm glad to see that you're doing the Mew story.
And for a flashback, it's pretty great with story building, thank you mate and hope to see more!
(Also can't wait to see the Umbreon moments. Hehe)
9990878
Cross-overs must be approached with caution and chosen carefully as it can make or break the story.
that's cool
9991073
mhmm, last time I check there were 13 completed displace stories. the rest were floated into the open sea or dive into the black abyss.
9991135
There's a lot more stories that got completed, both with and without cross-overs. It's just searching for them takes a long time, not unless you use two of the most used words in a story's description: Displaced, Comic Con, Merchant, Cross-overs.
9991152
really? there is more displace stories are really completed? that's pretty good to know. just need time to find them lol
Man, dude, I'm sorry to say but this wouldn't have made it to the featured list any other time of the year.
I recommend getting an editor.
Missing a " <- in there somewhere.
Same there.
That seems to be a running issue for the entire story as well as general poor structure, word choice, grammer and spelling.
Not a bad story, but honestly its moving so fast its difficult to even empathize or care about any of the characters.
Best of luck regardless though.
Down vote
9991718
Try offering actual criticism. Trust me, you don't want to be another Hamster Master who downvotes for no reason.
This is not the kind of story I expect to get featured. Maybe with a couple of chapters and there's an actual story set in place, it would be. But right now, it seems like a fluke.
fix?
I was thirsty from my freakout a few minutes ago so I made my way over to the water were I got my first good look at my new body. It turns out that I hadn't
hadn'tbeen turned into just ...There are many leaps in logic here, Like how does he know he's in equestria at the start? if the Manticore gave it away you need to explain that connection, it makes the character more believable, i would have used the manticore as a means to show the readers the powers you have implemented perhaps making it a clumsy attempt to use his new powers like turning into Lucario on accident and the manticore tries to eat him and he yelps and leaps into the air only to fall back down and hit the manticore with his head. struggle makes the character enjoyable if he just blasts everything away then what's the point? A journey is about finding purpose and overcoming obstacles. not all was bad however the twist with Ho-oh was quite enjoyable, and refreshing. with that said good job on making your first chapter and I hope to see more.
That's an excessive amount of tags for just one chapter (though they're probably telling of the future it's still excessive).
The description needs work, it's too telling of the story and has grammatical errors.
9990878
Don't worry this one won't have any other displaced in it. My other story will but it will have my own personal twist to it so it will be rather different from any of the others.
9991851
Yeah me neither. I put it out there to get some feedback on the first chapter that would allow me to push this story in a better direction so I agree it was a fluke.
😐.....😻😻😻😻😻😻😻😻😻Mmmooorrreeee!!!!!?
😻nyaaaaaa!!!
9990860
That's why I have that "A few extra Tricks in the short description. Don't worry all will be explained eventually but thank you for bringing that up since I forgot to include the character's confusion on that very topic.
Needs a little work, but overall, not bad. In one instance you used weak instead of week. Things like that. The grammar is mostly okay, not enough to really complain about for a rough draft. Same with punctuation.
This has potential.
I would look into finding a proofreader/editor.
9992216
Mew's
Mewtwo
Amazing! More plz
I'm guessing you changed the timeline because the Tree of Harmony is an artificial creation left behind by the Six Pillars right before they sealed themselves and the Pony of Shadows for 1000+ years in Limbo.
And a little secret to the Transform move: It's not only limited to pokemon. Ditto use it to turn into rocks in order to not be bothered when they're sleeping and in Ultra Sun/Moon, they could even use it to transform into humans. So Mew should easily be able to turn into a pony and use their magics.
Hope you find the time to update often.
9991726
No.
9991832
So.
9993158
Ah, I see you want to end up just like him: Deeply hated, heavily despised, and possibly banned.
9993181
So?
9993189
I mean it, you might end up banned due to your negative attitude.
9993192
Why don't you finish any of your stories?
9993192
Oh did I hit a nerve?
9993209
Nerve? pfft. Why would you hit a nerve? Besides, its a bit of a weak comment you made, considering you've got a single story that has quiiite alot of dislikes.
9993210
Dislike are views . So you will engage with me here ,but have me blocked? How brave of you..............
9993218
...Dislikes are views? Are you delusional or something?
"90% of my down votes are because I an a dick and fuck with people. That I would bet coin on." - Your words.
Come back in five or ten years, boyo. You'll think alot more clearly and be alot more mature.
9993226
I can't see your replay. You have me blocked very bravely....
9993226
Dude you have me blocked. I can not reply to your 'crazed" ranting's by a PM.
9993238
You read what I typed, boyo. Take my advice, wait a few years, then come back.
9993246
Yes you are a brave . A very brave pony that's never done anything. To afraid to engage on his/hers page. How sad. The basement is not your lover/friend.
9993246
Its not like your stories are bad. You just need a picky proof reader. But being as brave as you, its hard to ask for help.
Nice. I'm just trying to figure out if this Mew is a boy or girl. That's what's bugging me to be honest.