• Member Since 16th Sep, 2015
  • offline last seen 1 hour ago

Cosmic Flare


New to it all but love it all hope to do something to give back you all have giving me.

E
Source

(Displaced ) I liked the Pokémon that was in Ash's team in the XY series. Goodra was a sweet, lovable. And one power house to go up against. But it's not all I liked about it. But now I am one! It's not that bad, I mean I'm a Pokémon and look cute... Thing is, from where I stand now. Not a lot of life can be seen. Guess a little help with water will turn it around... Better start then.


Added tags:
Romance (light or normal)

Chapters (7)
Comments ( 113 )

Epilouge ? I think you mean prologue

9003942
*Hits head on table* thanks, guess when I started this at night I was not thinking straight. I knew it didn't look right. :applejackconfused:

i like this story dis a good story

9003947
I guess your a silly pony then

neat story! ill keep an eye on this because i want to see where this goes

I am already really interested in pre Equestrian stories and I love displaced stories. I love it !

Will this story being focusing on main character only or will he meet other Displaced?

that's a nice garden

9005037
It's up in the air for that right now. Maybe is the answer now. It's way too early anyway.

9005068
I suggest maybe around four or ten chapters later, more or less depending on if there are moments where your Goodra can relax. I suggest only choosing Displaced that can help the plot, character development or world building to advance, but don't fill the cross-over with alot of talking and don't have the focus only on those two, I'd hate for the story to come to a sudden halt because of their presence.

9005085
I understand, and thank you for the information. It was one of the things getting to me about doing that. And I have read a good many cross-overs and some go well and some don't. I don't really have any in mind for that right now to think about trying.

9005215
As long as both you and your readers enjoy it, it's all good. ^^

9005215

Personally I wouldn't do the Token-Based Displaced crossover thing. Ive seen it derail and even kill great stories. Remember that your readers are here because they are interested in your characters, your world, and the social dynamics between your primary group characters. What happens to that group dynamic when some egotistical putz wonders into your story kicking over tables and pissing in the Ice Machine? Im referring primarily to stories that keep these Token-Displaced for more than a simple cameo. Surprise cameos of one of the better known guys can be a fun surprise. However, keeping these guys for more than a one or two chapter cameo is a huge mistake in my humble opinion. Its like that unemployed friend you let crash on your sofa, Who-Never_Left! Now your stepping on Cheetos crumbs and pulling somebody elses underwear off of the TV set. Ive seen it happen in a lot of Displaced stories that get too buddy buddy. Kills them quicker than picturing your grandma naked.

The Monk

9008957
That's because those other Displaced don't do it correctly, they tend to focus too much talking or general screwing around that have no relation to the plot, they also tend to go a bit too crazy with the cross-overs and end up too many. Now, if there's a small but reasonable selection of Displaced that can help the plot, then all will be fine as long as the second Displaced doesn't do anything major that will put a dent in the story such as solving all of the character's problems, denying the main character's progression and development, make the main character too overpowered, provide TOO much talking, etc. The cross-overs should be short and happen during times of when the character is relaxing.

Now, there is a second and third option to go about it; they could be separated from the main story and put into its own category where it is non-canon.. Or the cross-overs could happen after the main story.

9009848
9008957
Yes! True on what you both have said. I don't know, I was kinda of thinking about the cross over with the one with Mewtwo. One in stone and was crazy for a while. It be good to have him come around at a slow point and for the time he is there, Pokémon training battle. It will be a good test to see how much one needs to work on and a way to get stronger. Because that helps Pokémon. But right now I don't know how that will work out for right now. As I said, I'm still at a loss on that front.

9009999
Take your time and plan carefully, bud. Overall, as long as your readers enjoy the story regardless of whichever direction you go for.

9009999

Just remember this is your story, not ours. Commentators like us are all a bunch of (redacted). The best stories on this site are the ones where the writer does what they love.

Listen to us and you produce dross. (thats fancy for *redacted)

The Monk

That was an interesting visit

was not expecting a god to appear

This is actually pleasant. So far we've seen three characters and they've all been rather nice and rational. Happily thinking of friendship and safety.

Hmm great story and world building there. But moving humans and pokemon here would also mean conflict as in the games pokemon grow thru battle and while humans are depicted as friends of pokemon they do capture and make pokemon fight. So all in all a volatile mix. Ponies would be more peaceful of the 2 and would not use pokebals since they dont know about them.

Mystery Dungeon Rescue Team Red game

i still got that game :ajsmug:

9016494
However there was a time where pokemon and humans were at peace and kinship without the use of pokeballs, or so I remember from some of the games, I think it was white and black that said that.

9062009
True. And in the show or one of the movies, it showed them together too. And fighting with armor for both humans and Pokémon. Pokéballs are just used as a way to easily carry bigger Pokémon around and as like a owner putting a collar that marks this Pokémon belonging to someone already. So no stealing.

Sand... Sand as far as I can see. After walking though the sandy hills and the heat of the cruel sun on me, my moist skin has been dried and the slime gone from my chin and arms as I stand now on this ledge on the mountain to see that there is no green of life as far as I can see. After falling to my butt sitting, I look down as tears of green goo falls down my cheeks at knowing I'm a lone here with no one.

"a lone" Should be one word.

My voice sounds just like one and sounds a little bubbly in nature. Giggling to myself that means on my neck is another two green circles on both sides as well. When looking back over the dead land before me the smile slowly disappeared as I the sadness was getting to me again. Shaking my head fast and hard, I push those lonely thoughts down as I look again out to the world around me to look for something else to do besides that.

The "I" in the third sentence is unnecessary.

9066144
9066147
Well... I must have missed that. I also blame my cellphone's keypad. Auto correction does not help a lot in some cases. Thanks for the save!

Could you some editors hard to understand it at times and that detracts from the story but you got a good story here

9082794
Editors or like a beta reader its hard to understand stand whats going on at times and it makes it very hard to continue with the story when its hard to understand whats going on

This is a very good story

I like it... I look forward to more

This Goodra might as well be Johnny Appleseed.

This isn’t the first time Arceus has adopted a Pokemon. There’s a crossover where Mimikyu became his grandchild by way of Giratina being his adoptive father.

As both attacks hit together smoke filled the area quicker

steam not smoke

9091203
Thanks. Fixed, :3 I thought I used the right word.

so i see the future
Eris mother of discord
Goodra the father

Finally an original version of Eris and not another female Discord. Thank You!!! Btw, the Chapter was really well done, good job.

can goodra learn aquajet?

Oh, I can't wait to see Goodra's reaction when he first meets other races like Ponies, dragons, and griffons. Also, in the two-hundred-fifty-five years, were their no sentient beings other than gods entering his garden, or is he avoiding them? Other than that, nice chapter.

9091535
Your welcome and thank you ^w^

9091584
No, but when being trained by a god that is your father that wants you to be able to defend yourself, and being what his is it can be possible but it was not a easy thing.

9091613
Well the world is just starting and the other races are doing whatever for now. And you will see heheh ^^

9091793
isn't goodra best served as a off tank?

9091807
I thought that the pony settlement was right next to his garden.

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