Coming To Terms With Coming Out

by Featherflutter

Birds of a Feather

This was it. My time to present my problem to everypony. I didn’t really know how to phrase it, considering most of it was still uncomfortable to think about. I didn’t quite know what to leave out or what to keep in. I was in a bit of omitter’s limbo. Of course, you all know my story, so I won’t go on about it again and waste any more time than I already have. As the night progressed, things started getting put into a better perspective for me. When I had originally come in, I was so confused, I was only going there because I was grasping at straws in hopes to find a solution for what seemed like such a monolithic problem. I left with an understanding, albeit an abridged one, of the outcomes of coming out.

Fear, nerves, anxiety, worry, confusion. These were all normal things felt during the process, and while no creature said that it was going to be easy to do, the one thing that I focused on was that, everyone was still there, living, breathing, being happy afterward. That meant to me that, no matter the outcome, life didn’t end. It wasn’t some kind of life or death situation. Of course, it hurt those who weren’t accepted, but they found ways to pick themselves up and move forward.

I left the meeting with a new aura of confidence, something that I didn’t have anything close to when going in. I muttered all the way home that I was gay. I didn’t go above a whisper, but it was one heck of an improvement. That night, I could barely sleep. It was already past 2 AM when I finally got home. Pip’s parents were worried sick about where I was. Apparently, Pip had forgotten to let them know of where I was.

Have I ever expressed how weird of a feeling it was to have somepony waiting for you to come home. Some of you might be rolling your eyes, like “No, of course not. Why would I?” And to that I say, exactly. Normally, no one would think about a family member waiting for them to come home from school or work or whatever, but as someone who hasn’t always had something like that, it is still surreal, like there’s a pony out there that cares for you that much to the point where they are willing to stay up into ungodly hours, just to make sure you came home safely. Not only that, but just their level of concern. I got an earful when I arrived back, since I hadn’t told them where I was. It was only until I was able to talk did they fully understand. They yelled at me cause they were concerned. I learned my lesson and went to bed, or at least tried.

In the morning, I discussed a plan with Pipsqueak. He was incredulous to see such a 180 from me, since the night before, I hadn’t even thought of telling his parents. We had decided on a plan, that evening, dinner, we would tell them then. I felt that if I had a plan, I would be less likely to flake out and lose my confidence. For the rest of the day it felt like I was floating, even when I wasn’t flying. The whole world felt surreal to me, like everything was alive. I found it hard to concentrate that day, but finally the brisk dusk was upon us. I cleaned up and got ready for dinner. We were going to have stuffed peppers, my favorite.

Pip and I sat next to each other, as always, sitting in silence,constantly glancing back and forward to one another, waiting for the other to give the signal to tell them. Finally, it was Pip’s mother who had broken the silence,

“Well, dears, are you havin a little staring game? Who’s winning? Pip was always so good at the little staring games, would always beat his pa and I. You’ve got your work cut out for you, Feather, dear.”

“Actually, Mu-”

“I remember those, yes Pip would always be able to stare the longest, and I, to this day, haven’t the faintest idea as to how he was able to do it. You’ve got some special eyes, there, son.”

“Da-”

“Doesn’t he? He outta become a wee little biologist. They have to put their eyes underneath a microscope all the live-long day, and Celestia knows how tiring that must be on the eyes. Oh, you’d be a lovely little biologist in a fancy lab coat!” Pip’s mom let out a shrill giggle.

“Mum, I-”

“Is that what you want, son? To become a biologist? I hear they make good money and are in high dem-”

“MOM! DAD!” Pip Yelled, immediately getting both of their attention. “Featherweight and I have something we would like to say, if you don’t mind!” he said, already exacerbated by the bickering of his parents that he knew too well.

“Oh, well why didn’t you say so dear?” Pip’s mom said, which unearthed a twitch of the eye from Pip.

“Mom, Dad?” He looked at his parents, then looked at me.

“We’re gay.” I said as flatly as possible as I held my hoof in his. “And we are coltfriends”

There was a clattering of silverware, from hoof to table to ground. Both his parents looked at us, shocked, eyes bouncing between us and our conjoined hooves. We tried to make it as obvious as possible that we weren’t lying or pranking them.

One minute went by in silence, we still held strong. Two minutes went by; we started to become unsure of ourselves. Three, four five minutes went by; we held each other’s hoof in support of the other, preparing for the absolute worst.

Finally, Pip’s dad let out a long sigh. “Well.” He said, then fell back into silence.

Pip’s mom put a hoof to her mouth, suppressing a sob. That was what got Pip to let go of my hoof. “Mom?” He asked, looking concerned even more.

“I’m so...happy.” She said as he let out another sob.

Pip pulled back a bit, “What?”

“I’m so happy that my little boy is growing up and finding love. And I’m so glad that it was with you, Featherweight.” She looked at us, tears in her eyes, then moved in, hugging us both.

This was one of those surreal moments, where I hadn’t felt this type of love before from anyone. It was like I was being accepted, truly accepted for who I was. I sat there for a moment in shock, but then hugged her and Pipsqueak back. I felt misty eyed, and soon enough began to cry. Pipsqueak felt the same, because I could hear him lightly sobbing as well. I was so happy to be accepted, and to be wanted in somepony else’s life.

Pipsqueak’s father came into the hug as well, adding that he was happy if Pip was happy and that he accepted us both. It was like all the weight was finally lifted. I could finally breathe properly. I would still need to get comfortable with showing public affection towards Pip, but I felt that now, we had time to work on it. There was time to plan a future, to see what was past the end of the tunnel. I felt happy, I felt safe, I felt like I belonged, like I had a family. I wouldn’t trade it for the world.

……………………………………………………………………………………………………

Featherweight wiped a tear from his face, feeling an embrace beside him. They sat together, staring at an old knotted oak tree. Etched in the tree’s bark was a fresh pair of symbols next to a weathered old pair.

“F+P”

“F+B”

“I hope you guys are happy. I hope that I have been able to make you guys happy. We haven’t had that good of a life, heck, this tree has been the only record that you two were ever here. I’d just like to think that I have been able to make you two happy through it all, good and bad, even past death.” Featherweight pressed his head onto the bark, right underneath the etched symbols. “I got a coltfriend, Mom. He’s a good colt, Dad. I love him. I really do. I know you guys didn’t get to meet him, but trust me. He’s a really lovely colt.”

Featherweight cried. He cried in a mix of immense joy and crippling sadness. Pipsqueak did his best to console him, but Feather had warned that this was going to happen when he came here. The only thing he could do was to be there to support Featherweight. The weeks after them coming out were shaky, with Featherweight getting used to affection in public, but they persevered together. Their dates became more frequent, until they were regulars at the Daffodil lane. They were a couple, but more importantly, they were still friends. Featherweight introduced Pipsqueak to Sandbar and Gallus, knowing they would become great friends. Then, a month after they came out, Featherweight wanted Pipsqueak to come meet his parents. He wanted his support to come out to them like Pip wanted Feather to come out to his parents. Pipsqueak agreed. It was weird coming to a tree in the middle of the Apple family orchard, but he didn’t question it. It was only until Featherweight started talking to the tree that Pipsqueak didn’t have any problem. It was hard when Featherweight started, but Pip stayed resolute. He was here for Featherweight.

The chill of autumn, on the brink of winter, creeped up on the two, letting them know it was time to go. Featherweight wanted to stay for a few more minutes, but the setting sun said otherwise. Featherweight sniffled and sobbed on Pipsqueak’s shoulder all the way home. They cuddled up next to one another as they made their way back, getting ready for the next day of their lives.

Author's Note:

All done. I hope I was able to make a nice story. I'm planning on making more. Just gotta figure out what to make at 3 AM. We'll see. Stay tuned! :)