Twilight has strong feelings for her best friend Fluttershy. Will showing how she feel ruin there friendship or will something new grow? This is my first story and there might be many flaws so please help me if you can.
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Its good.
Don't leave us waiting! Who's the jealous mare?! My money is on Rainbow Dash.
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I bet you my crown it's Rarity.
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You're on!
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If I win, you have to write a Zecora-Discord ship
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And if I win, you have to write a Derpy-Luna ship.
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We shall see, my worthy adversary, we shall see...
You've got a deal
ARGH, DAMNIT! I LOST THE BET!
... good chapter, though.
1115237 Thank you
And sorry you lost the bet 
Yeah, i lost the bet too...
But, nice! Things are happening too fast, and the chapters are very short, but if your new to writing, theres no problem.
The idea is interesting, and i imagine what is going to happen next. Feel bad for Rarity though.
anyway, keep it up.
I sense a cat fight in the near future
Really not bad on your own, there's a lot of things you improved upon.
Still, I'd like to edit this some. Email me at your earliest convenience
A little fast for my taste, but good overall.
Have a
1117324 I'll get better with practice I promise.
But I've also written all these chapter at 6 in the morning 
Mmhm I was brought here by that bet Geo made, and so far I'm enjoying this story. Fluttershy is a pony-player, she gets ALL DA FLANK
Everybody who reads this post lost The Game
Nice to see the edited version transitioned smoothly
1154841 It always does
Good chapter. Though I can't help but feel that whatever Rarity has planned will end in tears.
And maybe even snot.
1120410
Nope.
Is this dead? I like the idea.
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Nope. As his editor, I shall harass him until my dying breath for a new chapter!
fc04.deviantart.net/fs71/f/2012/185/3/c/patriotic_celestia_by_sirponylancelot-d55znw5.gif
Whoa....
...
Oh boy, that escalated quckly and ended abruptly.
B-b-but... it's not a happy ending!
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Look everyone. I'm done writing for a while. I don't find myself good at it at all
So if anyone wants to continue this, just please message me alright? But for now and probably for a while, I'm done. With pretty much everything. 
When I heard Rarity loved Fluttershy that much i was like...
3.bp.blogspot.com/_tkFz5AXRZog/TSzjrtPvbMI/AAAAAAAAAJo/LC6UbuSXLEc/s320/best-cry.jpg
CONTINUE GOD DAMNIT