• Member Since 24th Feb, 2012
  • offline last seen Yesterday

cealdra


T

A day in Cloudsdale, just a routine day for many. But for two mares and a small filly it had been far from it ever since they received a simple letter three days ago.

This is a one-shot for darqfox's Twishygroup chalange.
No romance, but still a TwiShy fic.

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 6 )

Well. It was a bit strange, to me. Might have been the grammar. I'd definitely try to get a proofreader on it soon.

No less adorable.

<3 DarqFox

Your entry has been confirmed BEFORE the submission deadline. You are in the running.

I like this story a lot. All I'd say is that you need to just read through your work and make sure everything sounds right, and that will catch a lot of the errors. Other tips would be make sure you are using the correct word. When Shy's dad was yelling he said week, and obviously you meant weak. A quick once over should get everything, I like this idea and the feelings might need just a tad more development/fleshing out to make a stronger piece. Hope that helps you maybe, keep writing. :pinkiehappy:

You know, Flutter having an abusive Dad has been used quite alot, is that true o.o >.> Just because it's so common to read i'm wondering... :fluttercry:

But loved the story :pinkiesmile: continue on wards in your writing

3535985
My reasoning was simple for that.
She clearly has some sort of emotional damage, resulting in her overprotective and shy demeanor and the masive inferiority complex and blame taking. Secondly her weak flying.
Sure it could be a condition, but with her being her i`m more likely to believe that somehow her wingbones were broken on several places on a young age and never healed correctly.
That meaning, flying above a simple glide or slow pace hurts. She can fly fast (see return of harmony pt2 and hurricane fluttershy) but doing so causes great pain.
And her father (or mother) seems the most likely suspect for covering that up.

But thats just my headconnon

Hey, maybe Whisperwing could move down to Ponyville? She deserves a MUCH better neighborhood to live in, and I'm sure Ponyville would be happy to welcome Twilight Sparkle's mother-in-law :heart:

And Fluttershy's mother, yes.

3999385
Maybe i`ll write a small second chapter one of these days.
Simply to get my head arround other subjects as i seem to reach a small snag in other stories.:twilightoops:

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