Making Love (Out Of Nothing At All)

This story has been marked as having adult content. Please click below to confirm you are of legal age to view adult material in your country.

Confirm

Comments ( 10 )

Viewing 1 - 50 of 10
- Newest First
- Oldest First

The Elusive Badgerpony

The Elusive Badgerpony #1 · Apr 10th, 2019 · 1 · ·

Hot damn, a combination creation myth/clopfic was not something I was expecting out of this contest. A really cool concept that I think you executed super well.

Diamond Sparkle

Diamond Sparkle #2 · Apr 10th, 2019 · · ·

Enjoyable and well written too.

Biker_Dash

Biker_Dash #3 · Apr 10th, 2019 · 5 · ·

This needs to be read to the band Air Supply, only because of the title

Alaborn

Alaborn #4 · Apr 11th, 2019 · 2 · ·

9558443

Yumberduddle

Yumberduddle #5 · Apr 20th, 2019 · · ·

this is straight up amazing

Azure Sandora

Azure Sandora #6 · Apr 22nd, 2019 · · ·

Best creation story EVER! Coming from one who was once a devout Christian, this is something that Genesis desperately missed in my opinion.

While I don't adhere to the idea that Celestia and Luna are primordial deities, this story is just too wonderful and well written. A perfect creation myth indeed.

xRei

xRei #7 · May 4th, 2019 · 1 · ·

Contest judge with some thoughts.

I'm torn.

There are two very different stories being told in this one. One is a creation myth, which is actually quite excellent. The other is.. smut. And the smut was.. Okay? For me, anyway. I'm picky.

But I don't blame the quality so much. The quality is fine. Rather, it was the rather abrupt and jarring transition between the two. Like a manual transmission being clumsily slotted into gear I could feel when the story went from story mode to clop mode. A large part of that comes from the way you've presented the narration between the two parts. The first half is a kind of a brief vignette of dialogue and character interaction(which was nice), broken up by stretches of expository narrative(not a bad thing in this case). All in all, the presentation feels kind of like a story being told, just as I might expect from the exploring of a mythos. All of that works great.

But then the clop is mostly just written as clop. It's more intimate, lengthy and detailed. Wholly different. In a way, for me anyway, it sort of feels like the more visceral and physical nature of the clop section dispelled some of the purity of the overall experience.

But at the same time, I really did enjoy the story itself, so I'm not sure how to feel.

It does beg the question: if I didn't enjoy the presentation of the clop, what could have been different? It's hard to say. As I was reading I seriously considered whether the story would have worked better if perhaps you'd cut the clop down and described it more abstractly, more similar to the rest of the fic.

But there's a real chance that people other than myself would have been turned off by the unorthodox approach to the clop. Hard for me say.

In any case, I appreciate the time you took to write something unique. Thanks.

Melesse Lindenya

Melesse Lindenya #8 · May 12th, 2019 · · ·

9604633
Thanks for the feedback. Admittedly, this story was first concept without the clop, and I personally think that it would have been stronger if I'd stuck to my guns and done something unique and abstract with the sex. But I was hampered by RL time constraints (other writing projects and work stuff getting heavy) and I wasn't sure if abstract version would play well with judges and readers, so I chose to take the route that was both easy and safe and write the clop the standard way.

Given another chance and more time, I definitely would have done it differently, but I suppose that's hindsight for ya. I'm glad that at least the first part was enjoyable, since that's the part I really cared about.

Yumberduddle

Yumberduddle #9 · May 16th, 2019 · · ·

This absolutely should have been one of the winners. Its narrative quality dwarfs 2 of the stories that did win, and its concept, approach, and erotic content is far above all 3.

Kessie_amarra