Here lies the wistful delusions of the sleep addled mind. Actually wait, no, just me.
Twilight Sparkle is Princess Celestia's personal student, tinkerer, philosopher, arcanosmith, and more. What she is not, however, is one to give up on a good mystery. Especially when her attempts to put it off are met with strange dreams and vague hints.
If only she didn't have to do this alone. Well, that's what the young inventor thought.
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Added gore tag for some later chapters
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ahhhhh a story form dark eagerly awaiting more now onward to the first chapter also *SQUEEE* steampunk
Sigh yet another story for dark to eventually abandon.
HOOOOOOOOOOOOO BOI am I fucking ready to read this story man. Give me it quick
This is shaping up to be excellent. I look forward to the next chapter.
8869986
I'm hoping I don't abandon it. Glow of the Moon is just on pause because I'm at a bit of a filler roadblock where all of my ideas take place after where it's currently at. This one still has quite a bit of steam left- pun absolutely intended
-Edit-
Also, hey! You don't have a single completed story on your profile so you can't say anything : P
this is a great start to the story ... cant wait to see the rest great job.
hot damn one supercharged twilight coming right up
also edge.papercutpm.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/10/evil-monkey.png
EVIL
so what celestia go tyrantlestia now
ha arcanotech powered vibrator for the win
yes i smell the insperation from the mare who lived in the moon, one of my favorite twilunas this is just less dark at the moment
8874199
100% the reason I started this. It was so good and I realized the only true steampunk I have is survival is hell.
8874965
Wups. That's what I get for writing it at 3 in the morning
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encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcTaGM9rJt0Qban-azQpOOKCIdpvz61JvZLo1eXMipCyoP4ZmbJN
not sure if twidash, twiluna or twilunash
8897739
Accidental Twidash, we'll see where it goes from there XD
this is excellent! Keep going pls!
8898080
dissapointing, I don't read that ship usually since i dislike it, and dash isn't even in the tags. Will still give this a read but its kinda shitty to not even put your pairing in tags
8902352
It wasn't intended from the start, though I was stupid and couldn't find the main 6 tag, thanks for reminding me to do that. I'm also normally not the biggest fan of Twidash, but I believe given the right context any ship can be good.
8905795
Twilestia and Twiluna are my jam, as anyone can tell looking at like 60% of my stories, but I experiment with other pairings and I usually do Dash and Fire as family or as a ship when applicable. Twinyl has come to be one of my recent favorites to write with DJ Valkyri-3
well then, let's see how long it takes for Fluttershy to lose those frames in an act of Murphy, shall we?
O yes
hmmmm it going to be good,
8905967
only one I like more then twiluna is a twilight-candace ship
but I like most of your story and as I was reading this one I was think, about howl moveing castle about twilight workshop and another The Mare Who Once Lived on the Moon
8941445
the mare who once lived on the moon was the inspiration for this story yes lol, and the wandering workshop is 100% howl's moving castle. It's even referenced XD
oh good i saw this
and i was like wait what fuck code red its the nightmare not luna then i read the last bit
8875065
WTF DARK
I DONT CARE WHAT ANYONE SAYS EATING ANOTHER TALKING SENTIENT RACE IS A ONE WAY EXPRESS TICKET TO GENOCIDE WHY TWILIGHT HASNT BUILT THE ORBITAL FRIENDSHIP CANNON YET AND GLASSES THE GRIFFON TERRITORIES IS BEYOND ME
DAT SHIT ANIT RIGHT I DONT CARE HOW PACIFIC A RACE IS YOU UP AND GENOCIDE ANY RACE THAT STARTS EATING YOU
Nice, though the fact that you never named the traitor councilman kinda lessened the impact of his treachery. Without a name, he was obviously a mook who would drop fast and have no big impact on the story. That was your intent, but telegraphing it so obviously to your readers robs the scene.
Ideally, he should have been introduced earlier, and perhaps even been shown to be someone Twilight trusted.
Just my 2 cents.
8944601
or perhaps that particular story isn't quite closed : D
This sounds rather interesting. The usage of that certain colorful phrase certainly attracts attention too.
Question on the note of eating meat -- you said it was becoming more than a taboo. That could also imply that it is becoming banned, not more popular, as you mean it to state. I think.
Oh, bugger. This will be good.
all overflow
Who thought that? Is that foreshadowing, or just a cryptic comment by Twi?
singeing.
:D I'll not spoil what, but I caught that reference.
Hmmm... I wonder why Luna is able to act without the Nightmare Forces following along. Is it because Twi is one of the Elements, or is it because the Nightmare isn't truly hers, like in the story this was inspired by?
from
same one
Forgot to capitalize the name
so she
na? I am not sure what that is supposed to be.
I think Spike is male. You may want to change the first pronoun.
Semicolon!
Also, do I detect a hint of TwiDash? :D
And she likes Luna, too...
That is either going to end with NMM taking over or with something rather adorable.
Did that heal her throat or wing? You mention it healing the wounds on her back, but having her throat ripped out would be the most quickly lethal.
What would the prosthesis have even been for?
Okay, so I guess it did fix that too. You may want to say "the wound on her throat" though. Scars ... scarring is somewhat redundant and also inaccurate, since they haven't healed over yet.
was
Mechanical steampunk wings, eh? Now Fluttershy (or Dash) is going to be caught in a reactor explosion and become the Equestrian equivalent of Doctor Octopus.
I wonder if you have a mechanical alicorn in the works...
flying
felt
I do feel somewhat bad for Dash like that. Although, given how this ended, it seems like they might change that...
like from a charging griffon, or smacking into a tree. While it is not always possible, using "you" in a story is considered bad practice. Especially when the reader is not the same species. :D
before, AND
The repeated "as well" is not good. Try removing the second, and adding an "and" between the first and the "we".
Use the italics option in the editor. It would probably work better, and be less jarring. I know this is somewhat tricky, since it's for emphasis, but italics work fairly well for that too.
Wow. Twilight and Dash are cool.
Though, after channeling the incarnation of a meat grinder, the breakdown might be warranted.
Hey, I know Rainbow Dash trusts Twilight and Twilight knows it, but this is still something you get consent for IMO. You wouldn't have to totally ruin the surprise, you could still be super vague, but I think the seriousness of permanent body modification calls for a little more than "open your wings and close your eyes and you will get a big surprise", no matter how good the surprise is.
Just wanted to double check that this was intended as written. It seems odd for me to see "if the only one who saw what Rainbow Dash saw is Rainbow Dash", but it's completely correct from a technical standpoint. It threw me personally because you wrote "if the only other person", which I at first took to be "other than the admiral"*, but now I understand it to be "other than you, Twilight Sparkle".
And with that I'm caught up and waiting for updates like everyone else! Great story so far.
*(I believe small case is generally correct when the word is being used as description rather than title)
8955379
Consider the circumstances. Especially as it's explained further directly afterwards. The seriousness of permanent body modification would normally apply if the modification was just a modification- even if it was only improvement. This is partial prosthesis, something that at its best gives her the ability to fly properly back, and at its worst leaves her where it started. Both of them knew this at the time, and it's also the setting. Clockwork and Steampunk don't make serious advancements in body modification and prosthesis with consent. It should be considered lucky she got a willing test subject to iron out the kinks first. While I understand where you're coming from, the point is ultimately rendered moot by the circumstance and context.
8955395
I've always had problems with proper capitalization and the vice versa, since it's habit for me to capitalize most descriptors and I don't know why.
And yes the basics of the statement were something along the lines of saying that if it was only Dash then she can be trusted, just using a roundabout and somewhat archaic way of saying it. I feel like a timeless alicorn would still use strange ways of saying things that still do actually make sense, it just wasn't seen as anything but normal since Twilight has long since accepted it as the norm for her and the story is mostly from her perspective.
So TL;DR, yes it was intentional in how it was worded- it was meant to be not the most precise way of saying it for thematic reasons.
i love the Howl's moving castle refereance
8955893
For the first half of your response, it wasn't "just a prosthesis", Twilight was drilling holes in her bones!
For the second half, "that's just how the clockwork/steampunk genre rolls", I can't really comment on that, so if so then whatever.
8963819
Ultimately I can explain all I want, you have your opinion and I have my reasoning. I appreciate the feedback regardless even if we don't agree and hope you stick with it as I get more chapters out when I can.
8963960
I already provisionally conceded the point about clockwork fiction considering nonconsensual invasive procedures to be normal. You have knowledge that I lack and I am taking your word for it. All I'm saying now is that if it wasn't for that excuse Twilight's actions would be crazy.
I know you've been wanting to lose weight, so I put a tapeworm in your birthday cake. Don't worry, it's genetically engineered to not have offspring and die in a few months. Happy birthday!
8964000
Lol, fair. But context is everything my friend. I normally don't particularly enjoy twidash. I had no plans for it, it just kind of happened because it made so much sense in context.
I like that resolution. Still don't know what will happen with Dash, but Luna at least is recovered and returns the expression.
Nice ascension scene.