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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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He needed to sow his seed in her winter garden.
i.imgur.com/7oDZiBa.gif
Gee, it's almost like they expect him to pull a 9/11 with that airship...
Luke: Who do they think I am, Mohamed Atta?
Shorter Top Hat Tootington III:
vignette.wikia.nocookie.net/aceattorney/images/f/f9/SoJ_Objection%21.png/revision/latest?cb=20160909141244
And yes, I see what you did there in those author's notes. I'm working on the Shimmysmut as fast as I can, dammit!
Yesssssss... This is going fabulously!
8943028
Two more years later.
ohhh das drama is building
So Sirens are like black widows then. They take the mate they like, feed of them and then move on into the next mate? Wow, this story suddenly turn dark.
And poor Luke, I bet he is going to just tell that he understand what happens and accept that quitting is the only option before Fleur can tell anything. Hell maybe he will just pack his bags and prepare to lived on the wilderness thinking that ponies will simple would never accept him. And considering Fleur wants to eat him, maybe its for the best
8943182
Umm... wut?
Where the hell did you get this theory? You literally couldn't be more wrong if you tried.
Are we even reading the same story? Holy shit man...
8943190
Sorry, the part of the singing and how Luke was basically kissing Fleur hoofs, made me think he was delirium, even he himself was complete lost of what happen. The fangs, the thing about her species slaving their consort if they found one. The fears of the sirens being more aggressive and why she decided that they need a lot of control…and how in Equestria girls regular sirens feed of making people fight and aggressive, and considering that Fleur just told us that she is a far more powerful sirens.
Well everything was kind of lining up into she is kind of a changeling…or she will eat him. And believed me, the eat part is the kindness option. Changelings don't eat, they leave the host without any emotion whatsoever, they are virtually death inside.
But hey if in future chapters you can clear things up, then I will hold my tongue
Really am into this story quite a bit. Kudos, it is not every HiE that grabs my attention.
When I heard the name Top Hat I thought of this:
8943198
Some of her species Some. And it is by no means a majority. There are other options.
I've already mentioned in a previous comment that sirens causing strife is not canon to J'adore. They simply feed on attention. There is no fighting.
This may be a tad spoiler-ish, but this is just a reservation of Fleur's. You have to remember she's lived well over a thousand years without having to deal with the 'problem' she now faces in the form of Luke. She's just worried she might lose control and end up hurting somepony.
She is not a changeling. And I would rather down a bottle of Clorox than write a vore fic.
8943201
Thanks man. Glad to hear it.
8943222
This. This is pretty much exactly how the guy acts.
Also, I think I'mma have nightmares tonight. So thanks for that.
8943237
Oh thank god, that really helps a lot thanks dude you clear the air then, and hey Luke is the first boy she shows attraction, good for her. Boy every single bachelor stallion, griffon, zebra…and possible a number of mares, are going to be green with envy when and if they make anything public. Great story dude and sorry for the confusion
This just poses more questions.
8943237
If you still want to to do that... Go to McDonald's, they'd be more then happy to help.
/s Please don't do this, I still need you to finish this story.
so as a siren does that mean she can do the same as this guy?
also couldnt pass this up
This story.....intrigues me please keep up the good work
Now I REALLY feel bad for the Dazzlings here :( It feels like Celestia would forgive 'fellow immortals' a LOT, being someones she could relate to. Only thing they needed to do is scale down their ambitions and collateral damage a little, and... done.
Instead, they met Starswirl.
Although, come to think of it, if EqG/RR was a thing here, she would be fairly likely to try and contact them anyway. Better late than never, especially after Luna's return. The Dazzlings would likely be... difficult, but ultimately that's what they wanted in RR. To live, instead of surviving.
Okay.. you made a good job in portraying Fleur as someone desirable (by Luke standards) yet because there is not much written about their interactions one can only guess why does the equine likes Luke. Without knowing much about their chemistry i wonder...what sets him apart from the rest? why would the Siren take a liking in him? Other than being an Alien what does the human have that could swoon an immortal? I really hope there is a tangible answer and not the typical "He´s just special".
If she has lived hundreds of years without finding love then he must have some Trait that none other being Fleur has ever known possessed.
Good story by the way, keep the good work.
8943237
Pretty sure the only eating will be the kind between his legs (Oi! Watch the fangs!). I do find myself looking forward to the inevitable comparison of humans versus stallions; stallions usually win the size contest handily in that first battle, but the fics tend to give humans the [inequine?] stamina to win the war in the bedroom... as it were. (Of course, unicorns, and especially alicorns, cheat with their tricksey magic)
Once Luke works it all out it's going to come up roses. Luke, you lucky bastard you.
Still loving how things are playing out. I keep wondering if the pacing will suddenly pick up with pace, but the gradual development is making it grow sweet.
Also, to a certain extent, Fleur is an audacious cunt and Celestia loves her to pieces.
8943028
You're so close to finishing. Stop edging and release it already!
… Celestia being her damn chess master self as usual I see...
8943271
By all means, ask them! It may help me with the story direction.
8943391
Oh my god that's horrifying. As if Maccy D's needed any more of a bad rep...
8943553
That second video... guess I kinda deserved that.
8943658
Thanks. I'll sure as hell try.
8943759
I get that feeling that if Adagio would just chill the fuck out then shit would be peachy...
And yes, Adagio is my favourite dazzling.
8943836
This all has to do with my weird and confusing head canon about sirens. As mentioned in the chapter, every siren has a consort. (possible spoilerish content ahead) A consort is essentially a 'one true love' that is pretty much instantly recognisable to the siren, but not to the host. That doesn't mean the host won't fall in love with the consort eventually, it just means that they don't get the 'love at first sight' effect. This creates a gap in the undertaking of affection towards the consort between the siren and the host. I thought this might be an interesting concept to write about. And no, whether or not someone is a consort to a siren doesn't depend on their species. The fact that Luke is a human is mostly coincidence. While sirens always take the form of female unicorns, consorts can be just about any intelligent species. I hope this clears things up for you a bit.
8944026
And hers.
8944095
I can confirm he is a lucky bastard.
8944307
Huh... I was worried the pace was a little too fast, myself. Guess I'll try and speed things up, eh?
Yep.
8944351
That's Tia for you.
8943391 8944486 That entire McDonald's thing is staged as fuck. For one, most work places don't use 'bleach pods' as a part of their cleaning chemical lineup. That stuff is almost always kept in bottles in liquid form. I've been working constantly for 11 years, and the only place I've worked at where we had any sort of 'pods' is the gas station I'm currently employed at; we have little windshield cleaner pods we use to refill the canisters at the pump. And on the off chance that a McDonald's would actually have some sort of bleach pods (not sure why they would, considering most fast food chains obtain chemicals from the exact same suppliers), its certainly never going to be anywhere near the drive through window, and I highly doubt the employee is going to be pissed off enough to walk all the way across the restaurant to the back room (which is where most cleaning supplies are going to be located) just to get a damn bleach pod to put in some random dude's drink.
I'd wager that the guy is simply crying for a little bit of attention.
And also, for the less knowledgeably inclined, bleach doesn't cause a soda to suddenly start explosively bubbling over. At most, it'll cause the drink to lighten considerably, until it almost looks like a glass of water instead of a soda. It might start fizzing a bit after its sat for a while and lost all of its color, but certainly not enough to blow the lid off the cup and make a huge mess.
Anyway, loving this story so far. Keep it coming!
8944486
Then... what was the point of making the main character a human? Because the "speciesism" factor could be played with any other canon species the human element feels underused.
Don´t get me wrong, i like HIE stories more than any other fanfic trope, but putting a human on a leading role is never enough on its own. Every element in a story must have a point and a purpose, and right now the human element feels slightly out of place.
Also, don´t think i´m complaining because i think your story is even remotely bad, after all i only criticize stories i like.
8944486
If you've changed sirens this much from the canon, are they even still sirens as we understand it? From what we know of them they're generally flying fish-monsters who spread and feed off of strife. Yours are female unicorns who are enthralling but have no truly negative effects. Was it intentional to completely do away with MLP's siren race and create a new one by the same name? Or are they still fish-adjacent, but can essentially Alternate Form into a female unicorn, and only some sirens (or perhaps even just those three) can do evil and malicious acts by way of voice? Said canonicity being implied by having seen the EQG Sirens in an actual FIM episode now.
Loving the story all the same, and reading about this form of siren problems is definitely interesting.
8944652
I posted the news story mostly as a joke. But we'll see if anything comes from the investigation.
But there's three entities investigating this. The Jacksonville PD, the McDonald's franchise itself and the Florida Division of Hotels and Restaurants is looking into it as well.
Best "hat" description ever.
You mean "clomp-clanking"?
First, that link thoroughly reinforces my view that French has way too many silent letters. You could remove about 1/4 of them and the pronunciation would be unchanged.
Second, I just plain don't like the use of "maw" here. Honestly, I often don't. To me, "maw" is a fairly aggressive/crass description for a mouth, and is far too often used in situations, like this, that are neither crass, nor particularly aggressive. Luke is admiring her mouth (and probably lips) at that moment, and to me, "maw" just doesn't fit as a descriptor in the situation.
Ooooooooooo...!
So, ok, I'm not sold on the consort thing as it reads currently, or some of it's other implications.
First is the way it seems to operate: a siren latches onto its One True Partner, and doesn't let go? So far it sounds like once the siren finds its OTP, that's its Only True Partner, no matter what. Additionally, there's the way it's happened to Fleur: she's apparently had little choice in the matter, and it sounds like she's never really going to. She can fight it, but she's already stated that her fear is that it will win regardless of her wishes, even to her detriment and the detriment of the siren's OTP. Does the story really need for her to be so thoroughly forced on Luke?
Second is the line from Celestia about desiring her own OTP forever. So... Once a siren finds its OTP, and gets its hooks in that OTP, the OTP then becomes ageless?
P.S. I'm awful! OTP...
8944735
Mainly because it is my favourite trope. I am, after all, purely a HiE author. And yes, the nobles could be bigoted to a minotaur, or a zebra, but a human is completely unknown to them. I'm not really sure what else you're after...
8944829
The flying fish monsters thing is still there, it's just buried deep, but it will become apparent in later chapters. That is their original form, but they've changed over the years. As for the strife, while I did say it wasn't canon to the story, after a conversation with my pre-reader I may actually consider tweaking the concept so that causing strife becomes an option to those that choose to do so. I don't want to stray too far from canon sirens, after all. Fleur of course, will not choose to utilise strife regardless of whether or not she's able to. That would be way out of character for her, in my eyes, at least.
You may want to check out my story Slipstream if you haven't already, as it utilises this same siren concept for one of the main characters. Just don't be put off by the L/D ratio. The story is kinda old, but the early chapters have been edited.
8945075
I think I'll do just that. Cheers for the headcanon, it's definitely adding new dimensions to the "Anon and pretty pony" trope, making this a very interesting and more unique read.
8945022
Eh... I guess I can change the maw to something else.
As for your reservations about the siren concept—you're once again thinking that Fleur and the siren are separate. They're not! As I mentioned before, they are essentially two halves of a whole. If there was even the tiniest chance that Fleur would not want to be with Luke, then the siren simply wouldn't have given a flying fuck about him in the first place, and would have just ignored his existence. They are just in two different places with their attraction toward him at this part of the story. It's not like Fleur is being forced into a relationship.
I think you may have misinterpreted something here, as that is not how it was supposed to come off as at all. Her reservation is to do with her siren's determination to be around Luke all the time, something that isn't possible because she has a business to run. She doesn't want the siren 'blowing their cover' so to speak.
[Super spoiler-y content below]
Essentially, yes. I know some people aren't going to like this, but this is where the 'wish fulfilment' comes in. It's right there in the story description. Can't say you weren't warned. In all seriousness though, I wanted to take a crack at tackling the 'lonely immortal' dilemma. Celestia an Luna are alicorns, but any lovers they take will ultimately die. Sirens just seemed like the perfect race to add this huge convenience to, so I thought: fuck it, why not?
8944930 Yea, I'm sorry. I just get really irritated at people who scream wolf without actually doing any educating of themselves.
8944829
That's a problem of limited sample. We don't actually know how Sirens are and what they do. Canonically we have two short-term interactions with three members of the species, and that's it - they're not like, say, Discord, who is for all intents and purposes unique. No way to tell if their behaviour is typical even for them - Adagio might just happen to lead them in those two particular cases, which both ended poorly for them, and everything that happened, happened because of her, and the other two might have vastly different approaches and ways of thinking.
Basicly, you can ignore that canon and just slap whatever. The sirens are too underdeveloped for anything concrete.
8944486
Will that be a thing, though? I mean, not like a side story of Celestia x Dazzlings, but them being mentioned at all?
8944486
You misunderstand. The gradual pacing is making it all the better. One of the harder parts of writing a longer tale is being able to draw out aspects across large arcs of the story. That it's going so slowly in the right way is something you should be pleased with yourself on.
It also doesn't feel slow, which is often tricky to avoid, but you do feel the steadily rising connection between the pair. I said it feels sweet because you can sense the unhurried, yet simultaneously almost frantic growth of their relationship. It's a rather fascinating counterbalance to watch. I'm half hoping for a train wreck before they find joy, and half hoping for them to transition so bogglingly smooth into being lovers that one would almost boggle at how they got there, despite knowing the whole road.
This is proving ever more enjoyable to read.
8945390
I addressed that already and generally agreed, but just because we don't have a great deal of information on a canon subject doesn't mean we ignore it because there's no in-depth guide. We actually lack quite a bit of information about ponies and Equestria in general, and rarely do people replace what is canon with something else and say it is also canon. They say they're adding something onto it, or replacing a part, or showing you their personal idea.
Biker's response was perfect and got me even further interested in his take on the species. I love seeing what people have on their minds to fill in for all that missing information from the series.
8945390
They may be referenced, yes.
So, this story has received my "like" and I do hope the next chapter comes out soon.
This story is AWESOME!! Keep it up!
I did NOT hesitate to Like and track this story before I even read the first chapter and boy did I make the right Choice! I love this story with all my heart and I am looking forward to more chapters and the insanity that comes with them!
Edit: I must point out that very, very few story's get that kind of reaction from me. The last one's to do so was Hivers series of MLP fic's :D
A nice, lore revealing update. The timing isn't too clear but it almost seemed that Luke was able to break free of the song's 'enchantment'. If so that might prove useful later. It could be used as a realization for Fleur that Luke is truly attracted to her; loves her, etc. My imagination's already running away with me on how that could go. I see the early signs of how protective Fleur's going to be with Luke too. I might feel a little bad for a pony who threatens Luke.
8945116
As to the "Super spoiler-y" at the end of your comment. I LIKE IT! I'm all for it. Last story I read with that element had bitter-sweet ending. Our favorite immortals need immortal love too you know.
Love the story when can we get the next chapter.
8981891
I'll leave this here as a reply to you, but also as a message to all readers of this fic:
The next chapter is about halfway done, but I've had less and less time to write lately because I'm going on a motorcycle tour in about two weeks and I've had to put in a ridiculous amount of hours at work to pay for it. I'll be away for two weeks. (I'm riding all the way from Amsterdam to Venice and back) Updates should resume a somewhat respectable schedule when I get back.
TLDR - Life getting in the way. Please be patient.
8988029
Have fun on your trip.
8988029
take pic if you can for your bronys fans in the US
This is great! :D
Awesome I can't eat for more!!!
I'm just asking because this is fleur here, is this supposed to be a rushed romance story, a clopstory or something like that?
I would actually prefer it if you should tell me that this is a more or less meaningfull relationship. I like it when she is nice in those stories like in that one adoption story instead of manipulative or something like that.
I think this is going to be a romantic story with clop. That's the vibe I'm getting.
Just a heads up. The song you have linked was blocked due to copyright. Or atleast thats what it said. Which is a shame because i cant find one quite as pleasing musically. All the others lack some of the instruments and sounds used
I would like to take a bit of time and thank you for pointing me in the direction of the song. The link you have has been restricted to me, don't know if it affects anyone else. I felt you might like to know.