• Member Since 26th Jan, 2018
  • offline last seen 3 hours ago

officialmjsmith


Most stories will be based around Rainbow Dash, Twilight, Sci-Twi, and Scootaloo! Also a W.I.T.C.H fic writer on Fanfiction.net(Same username)

T

When a huge and startling event unleashes something inside of Scootaloo that even she didn't know she had, an investigation is started by Princess Twilight, enlisting the help of the other princesses, the Equestria Girls, and another.......person.

Secrets and pasts wished to be forgotten are once again brought to the surface. Action follows along. And possibly romance.


*A year after the end of S7.
*One instance of death.
*Gets Dark In Later Chapters. You have been warned.

Chapters (20)
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Comments ( 51 )

Unique, unexpected, and very in-depth. You have my attention.

My god I love this please write more. I love the idea of Scootaloo becoming an alicorn and this is the first story I've read it in.

You are the dest at writing ceep up with the good work

Just started this and color me intrigued.

Even though Scoot’s mom warned Twilight about the danger, I don’t think Twi really understands what she’s getting into.

8903536
Sadly, I ran out of space for tags. And since it's not a common theme in the story, I felt very little need for it to have a death tag. But as a precaution I did place it in the long description.

"small-explanation"

just leads to BIGGER QUESTIONS :twilightoops:

If they disappeared 15 years ago, then how did they teach Starswirl?

And Bloodblood not being a moron is a nice change to this world building

So far I am 1/3 the way through the story and I really am liking it. I think you may have some time line issues that you may need to correct or explain.

Major spoilers, if you aren't the Author, or at least to chapter 5, don't read.
By official cannon, StarSwirl lived and disappeared hundreds and hundreds of years ago. Up until season 7. In the season 7 we learn its closer to 1000 ish years ago. It isn't impossible for her parents to have been Beardos teachers, but I don't see how living family members are possible. Shifting between worlds can include time slips, so Scootaloo ending up in the future is possible, as is her parents being thrust back in the human worlds past. But I can't see any close family members still being alive.

The Monk

So it sounds like Frozen Fire never encountered her stallion in the afterlife--which leads to a question: what happened to him?
Is it because he's still alive, but held captive?:rainbowdetermined2:

Will the other two Crusaders play any role in this story?

I haven't actually decided yet. They may, or may not.

Scootaloo looked up at her for an explanation. "This was not their first laboratory. Their first was in dodge junction. Once again underground. The second was here. But they both had the same design. Transportation and large caverns. I fear Frozen Fire and Bright Magnus may have a few more hidden on Earth somewhere, filled with Equestrian technology."

Chief Mst Sgt. Walter Harriman: "Alert! Incoming wormhole!"

"We can and we will," Blue Navy responded coldly before he glared at them. "And legally we are required to arrest all of you as well for keeping her a secret. But we only want her not a bunch of people that can confuse this investigation."

Apparently, it's illegal to keep a secret for your friend.

Celestia needs to get her behind in gear basicly usr overwelming firepower.

9027705

You got that right, they need to start firing off magical blasts at them, heck they should just have Scootaloo scan for Sunset's magical signature and teleport to just outside the fence of the place before they start bombing it with their magic to free her.

9027854
And once they get her just send the earth into the sun and leave.

9029761

And what about the Human versions of the Mane 6 along with the other Humans that are like the Equestrian characters, they shouldn't be burned alive, heck the Principal and Vice-Principal should be saved if they can be.

I guess... Ppl are stupid enough not to notice that some dude is still alive but held captive by some maniacs...

I just realized this....

In the past, Scootaloo arrived in Equestria as a newborn foal... But when she goes back to the human world, she’s still 16.

Does the physical age change depending on how long you’ve been in that dimension? Because she stayed on earth for 16 years, and 6 years later she goes back, and is still physically 16. And in Equestria, she has been there for 6 years, and is physically 6. So if she stays on Earth, for let’s say... 5 years, her “age” being 16, and then goes back to Equestria, would she still be physically 6?

But then how did Twilight and the rest that went over stay the same age crossing over as they were in Equestria?

9036949

To be honest, I don't know. I just like it this way. Oops.:twilightsheepish:

The people who are trying to get magic...all they really want is:

Celestia: "Scootaloo, we need you to make a wormhole.:trollestia:"

Chapter 7:

Chapter 12:

This chapter:

Next chapter:

Luna: "Demons run when a good pony goes to war. Night will fall and drown the sun when a good pony goes to war. Friendship dies and true love lies. Night will fall and the dark will rise when a good pony goes to war. Demons run but count the cost; the battle's won but the child is lost."

9114998
Because the story is not entirely dark. I did mention in the description that it does get dak in later chapters.

Wait--there's a Clone Pool on that side of the mirror?? :twilightoops:

:pinkiecrazy::pinkiecrazy::pinkiecrazy::pinkiecrazy::pinkiecrazy::pinkiecrazy:
:pinkiecrazy::pinkiecrazy::pinkiecrazy::pinkiecrazy::pinkiecrazy::pinkiecrazy:
:pinkiecrazy::pinkiecrazy::pinkiecrazy::pinkiecrazy::pinkiecrazy::pinkiecrazy:

Your synopsis is trying so hard to be vague that it neglects to actually capture my interest.

Thought you should know. Have a good day.

Mayweather turned around and yelled, "You're making a huge mistake keeping us here! They'll come after you and bring Hell with them!!"

Then let them scoots is basicly a better doom slayer anyways

Personally I would vey much like to see the marines come face to face with discord

Ooh, WildMagicSorcerer!Scootaloo. This is gonna be fun!

"I don't believe you!" Mayweather yelled. "I don't believe any of this!!"

Really, Mayweather? The whole point of your wanting Scootaloo, and the entire point of torturing Sunset Shimmer was to learn everything you could about ALL of this that 'you don't believe'! Should've been more careful what you wished for, because you're about to get it! :pinkiecrazy:

8933179
I too found these inconsistencies confusing

So I mean, I barely pay attention to the tags, so I didn't see the Human tag at first. Instead, I saw that twist coming from a mile away with the mention of Scootaloo saying her and her parents ran from some big disaster, and that there were two Scootaloos in this world (well, I didn't know explicitly until the end of the chapter that she was human, though. It's always possible counterparts are coming from another world where they aren't human, but some other species, after all!)

As for this chapter...my goodness, what is with that pacing? In a single chapter, we go from Scootaloo getting into a training accident, going to the hospital and then running away, sneaking into a treehome and then being caught, teleporting away and then being captured again, teleporting away and running into another safe bunker before being found again? Like, that's enough plot development for several chapters, or a chapter that's three times this size. It's fine if you have an idea and want to write it, but it needs to be paced out better!

As for the idea itself, it's intriguing enough anyways. If Scoots was 16 years old before crossing worlds, it would at least give her an edge in planning stuff out. Just as long as the other CMC don't find out she's secretly like 20 years old now. I still don't get why she'd stop in at Sugarcube Corner for a treat while running away from Twilight and Dashie and Applejack, though :applejackconfused:

"As the Element of Honesty, I know when a pony lyin' and she lyin' through her teeth."

Well, AJ is very sort of technically correct in that this isn't this world's native Scootaloo, but she's wrong in everything else. I wonder if she'll eat her words. Or her hat :ajsleepy:

...all hail the newest member of the pantheon, SCOOTALOO!!

Whichever is more destructive and catastrophic :scootangel:

Chances are, someone, somewhere, somehow will do something monumentally stupid sometime soon. :rainbowdetermined2:

Might as well get it over with. :rainbowwild:

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