• Member Since 20th Dec, 2017
  • offline last seen Oct 8th, 2023

xRei


That feeling when you'll never be a famous pony writer who burns out and fades into obscurity. Why even live?

Comments ( 107 )

Well, I can certainly and safely say that, without a doubt, with this being your first story, it's well written and very enjoyable. From start to finish, I like it! Like... mmm, truthfully, I'm still iffy on Jet, but I'm liking the premise of where this story may lay, I -obviously- fucking love Delta Vee, and Apogee is a fucking cutie, so... this fic should be immensely enjoyable to me.

I like the end there as well, that was both funny and fairly... what's the word, I suppose it's relatable? We've all gone through that stage in life, so I can... in a strange way, kind of see where Gee's coming from.

I'm eager to read more of this, I wonder how Delta will react to this, hehe. So good show, good show.

8689709
Thanks Dust, I'm glad you liked it.
If you like Delta Vee a lot then I think you should appreciate chapter 2. It is for her what this chapter is for Apogee, so to speak.

8689728
Nice! Looking forward to it :yay:
Keep it up dude.

:trixieshiftright:

I can't wait for the terminator reveal!

8689828
It will come when you least expect it.

Ah, Apogee. Truly a spoiled, petulant child, but that is not entirely her fault.
She does not know what it entails to be the CEO of a huge, multi-million company... but at the same time, some of her reasoning was that of a petulant child.
And it was perfect. She has made a stupid, rash decision, at the time she believed she had a perfect justification for it. Not an objectively good one, but again, her reaction is in line with what we know so far.

Then again, it's not like Jet's innocent in this situation either - he should have known better to make promises he knew he wouldn't be able to keep.
Though I think he's about to do some serious restructuralization in his company. Seriously, a CEO should not be the one to handle pretty much every single little thing in the whole company - that's what VPs, directors, and their underlings are for. He should be doing the biggest decisions and called for the most important meetings.

Whether that is the case or not, we know that he angrily slammed the door not because of how Apogee reacted, but because of the fact that all those situations have caused all of this to happen.
... and Apogee's reaction to that was perfectly natural in her current mindset. She absolutely misinterpreted that slam as him being angry at her, but it made sense at the time.

Also, she actually swore. Holy hell, she must have been holding a lot of repressed anger/disappointment.

Heh, Delta will be Delta indeed. I am really looking to the reaction of her finding Apogee in her trailer, and how the talk will go.
Because, obviously, Apogee will have to spill the beans... but at the same time be vague enough so Delta doesn't go into a fit of rage because of the current relationship between Gee and Jet.

tl;dr - a good lead-in chapter, definitely can't wait for more! :heart:

I'm glad the others told me to watch you. I've been anticipating this for some time. Poor Apogee.

Jet is such an odd character. No matter what I read I don't know what caused everything for him and Delta to spiral out of control. There are many stories and the blog that started this whole thing, but I want to hear his side of the story now. I know what Delta said happened, but is it true? I can't wait to see how this eventually plays out, but now I want to see Delta walk in on Apogee and just see how she reacts to finding her daughter among her toys. :derpytongue2: :raritydespair: *Please give me more Delta!!!!* :raritydespair:

Also, Apogee, sweetie, normal people lock their doors. It's a perfectly normal thing for a functional member of society to do. :rainbowlaugh: And unfortunately so is the key under the mat thing. :facehoof:

8690306
Glad you followed along.
You'll get more Delta than you know what to do with in Chapter 2.
Chapter 2 shouldn't take terribly long to put out. It's mostly written already.

About the door thing...
I actually made the assumption that ponies don't normally lock their doors since.. ponies are ponies. OTOH, Shino's AU take on a more modern Equestria might mean more human-like sensibilities. Either way, regardless of which you personally believe it either makes Apogee seem silly, or Delta. Both work.

whew, that first scene did put me on the edge

first delta, and now apogee is running away. I hope everything ends well between them and she forgives him. Jet can't seem to have a break.

Anyway... Your first story, huh? Not bad at all. I look foward to see chapter two (hopefuly with some mom x daughter action). You made Apogee look a lot relatable. Of course, that has to do with her still imaturity as a teenager like we all had, but that gives her a lot of character. I liked it quite a lot, even if it was a little sad to see her not compreending how tiring and complicated an adult's life can be. As for jet, i enjoyed what you did with him too. He really looks frustrated with his attemptions and his work getting on the way of him and apogee. It made it sound like he left to make propper actions to the company so that he can stay more time with her. He thinks he's losing her.

Dude, you're doing fucking fantastic. I can't wait to see the end of it

8690552
Wow thanks.

Making the conflict felt by Jet and 'Gee feel real was something I fretted about so I'm glad it worked out.

I will regretfully say this much: Chapter 2 won't feature Apogee and Delta together in a scene, that'll happen in chapter 3. Chapter 2 will be all about Delta and how her day has been going.

8690639
shrugs

eh, i can wait. But i really liked how you're developing jet and gee. They feel so real. Jet and his frustration and gee and her... let's say... inocent blindness(?) make it look like something we see a lot happening irl. It actualy made me feel grateful for having parents that care about me, but i was too imature to see it when i was 15. Congractulations, mate :raritywink:

heh, this really looks like it could become it's own separated series

8690542
Silly Apogee is best Apogees. She wouldn't be great otherwise in my books. If she's not super horny and silly she just wouldn't be the same. :twilightsmile: I'm still waiting to see all three of them in a threesome together. :pinkiehappy: Maybe someday.

I'm respecting your privacy by calling out to you, but exercising my right as a nosy teenager to come in anyway!

media.discordapp.net/attachments/398110334096900097/407198062981677057/apogee_knocking_turner.png

Oh boy, I can't wait for the next chapter, it's a time for Delta to get some love from her daughter. :trollestia:
I like JetGee stories, but I'm wanting to read DeltaGee too, and you're the first one to deliver. Keep it coming, man! :pinkiehappy:

I'm wondering that is this story be a short one or long one?

8699526
It will be at least 4 chapters, but I see no reason that I won't continue to do more after that. Assuming people are continuing to enjoy what is there.
Glad you enjoyed it though.

Well done Rei!

Smoking hot clop scene with everyone's favorite MILF, Delta.

Fantastic overall treatment, can't wait to see what happens next!

Diving head-first (hue) right into action with Delta's point of view. That dude was pretty arrogant. He'll get what's coming to him... eventually. Probably off-screen though. Oh well.

Delta's evening just kept getting worse and worse, didn't it? I said it before and I'll say it again (probably not word by word), but you have described her frustration beautifully. It just kept mounting more and more, and in the end she just burst.

I'm really looking forward to more, though. This will certainly be a fun bonding experience, even more so since Apogee was in the middle of her own fun when Delta screeched her name :rainbowlaugh:

I can already see how Apogee is gonna take this reaction the wrong way. #Angrysex :pinkiehappy:

8703637
Don't count the plucky girl out yet. She's got tricks up her sleeve...

8703585
8702821
Yeah, I can't wait to see what happens next too.


Oh, wait...

Why did stallions all have to be so unreliable? Sostupid?

breaths deeply calm calm calm calm calm calm...

aside from that, nice chapter. And now... what everyone is waiting for?

I thought there was no smut in this chapter? I’m glad I was wrong!

The smut, to me, looked well written and hit all the right spots, but what I found most interesting was its use from a storytelling perspective, how it played a role in effectively introducing and rounding up Deltaìs character, in such a way that it would be unthinkable to replace it with a fade to black. Good job!

Smut was all good, but my favourite part has to be the one in which Delta spots Apogee. I love the underlying cuteness of it, Delta’s incredulity, her quick and sharp conflict, and the blissful ignorance of Apogee inside.

I didn’t properly emphasize how much I’m liking this fic so far. It’s been great up to this point, I’m eagerly looking forward to the next update :yay:

I know Gypsum is unrelated, but that opening scene had me thinking so bad about 1632528

8704810
i really wish Gypsum returns to have more fun with Delta. I like his character a lot

8704834
To be fair, he had his little cameo in Diamond's in the Rough, wasn’t he lovable there too?

8704874
well, for the little that he appeared he sure was. He and Delta could do it again, he's way better than this last one

"You're kind of... old?" he said, his body tensing expectantly.

...Wow, I genuinely feel sick to my stomach now, I hope he gets what's coming to him :twilightsmile: as in a swift beatdown.
No words can accurately describe how... bad I feel for Delta in this, though I'm positive she'd hate that, it's really hard to not have that desire to just help her somehow, even though she'd dislike it, I feel.

That was close, she thought to herself, shaking her head in amusement as her chuckling slowly died out. She regarded the old, rusty machinery in front of her for a moment. It was a part of the atlas series of rocket fuselages and had been slowly accumulating rust for about as long as the junkyard had been open.One of these days we'll get you fixed up, she thought, her mind buzzing warmly.You've just been out here all this time, slowly aging in the desert huh? You old rusty bitch!

This shouldn't be completely italics, yeah it's in her thoughts, but you only italicize the actual thoughts themselves, though this might just be a style thing, I dunno.

That was close, she thought to herself, shaking her head in amusement as her chuckling slowly died out. She regarded the old, rusty machinery in front of her for a moment. It was a part of the atlas series of rocket fuselages and had been slowly accumulating rust for about as long as the junkyard had been open. One of these days we'll get you fixed up, she thought, her mind buzzing warmly. You've just been out here all this time, slowly aging in the desert huh? You old rusty bitch!

Looks better that way, imho.

I should be in there right now,she thought bitterly.Don't I deserve at least that much? To be able to enjoy my own fucking dildo in my own damn house so I can get rid of this… fucking...agony!?

Everything in this up to

With a shaky hoof, Delta reached down to her shirt pocket and fished out her pack of cigarettes.

Is in italics, should remedy that, Rei.

Other than that, nice work on this, nice work.

Wish I could help Delta out, but alas, I do not have that ability... cept in fic writing, hue.

Good work, good work.

8704658
Keep in mind Delta was just having a bad night. It isn't as though it's some kind of firm stance she is taking, but rather just some impassioned and frustrated thoughts.

8705263
Oh, no, I hadn't italicized those sections correctly. Shocking how I can continuously miss this even when I do a scan after publishing. It's fixed now so thanks for pointing them out.

8705314
No problem, you'd be surprised how often you miss the obvious stuff even if you look carefully. Helps to have a fresh eye to look it over, hehe

8705314
don't worry man. This is just one of those things that gets me really anxious (I'm not gonna get too personal, not in a place like this)

I know you wouldn't ahem pull the card, you're a good writer after all. It's just some personal thing, that's all. You didn't ruined Delta one bit

Awww poor Delta, let's hope she won't go rough on Apogee much. Well, at least she didn't have to bring that bloody guy to the house while Apogee is having her own fun in the bedroom.

The bar scene makes me quite sad about Delta's life turned down from a rokcet engineer to a broken mare, she should be working with EQSA not going haywire; drinking, smoking and trying to get herself got banged by random stallions weekly. Heck, I don't think that it's purely Jet's fault even if he's really tricking her into drinking and sexing with him. She seems doing fine while carrying Apogee(1635392) until things went down after that a few years later. I would like to know what really cause the falldown, but let's wait for Shino to update his story blog.

Great chapter, I can't wait to read another one. It's time for mother-daughter very close intimacy! :heart:

8705314
Think there’s a chance of this ending happily with a father/daughter/mother incest threeway?

8708637
that's what everyone is hoping, my dear friend

This thing might actually get bigger than FO:E at this pace. :rainbowderp:

8750757
Time will tell my friend.

Can't wait for the next chapter,any idea when will it be posted?

I like it so far. Hope there will be more eventually!

8770433
I made a blog post about this recently but to clarify I am working on it right now.
How some RL issues that delayed me for a few months but It should be done in a few days.

Love it so much Rei! Great work on this chapter on the story overall!

Definitely my fault on the ending everyone - but great things come to those who wait, and I'm sure Rei will do an amazing job with the lewds!

Welp, whew... another well done chapter, Rei, damn...

Mmm, not sure what else to say, it was well written, I couldn't find anything typo wise, and it was good stuff, asidefromtheApoJetheresy the chapter gets an 11/10 cheetoes. You guys all did good on this one, so keep it up! :heart:

Apogee is seeing intimacy as into-me-I-see, which is what I really love about incest. You can't get a closer bond then that~

Woot, it’s certainly worth the wait, I love every single word in this chapter Rei! What I love the most from this chapter is Delta’s motherly love towards Apogee in her own way which fits her personality perfectly. I asked you about COOLCO and I found it in about 10+ paragraphs, I’m hoping to see them using it to mount one another like in Clop’s fic while using LuvLink Glyph as well!

I’m abit relief that we won’t get blueballed as much as I expected, it’s a great build up before the actual smut in the next chapter. Also I didn’t expect the see that Apogee likes hooves as I do, although I didn’t like them sexually but ponies’ hoofies are so damn cute.

It’s a great wakeup call ever, got out from the bed and reading this instantly.

8892999
I'm quite glad that you convince him to do that, I think that it's necessary for making us wantng to anticipate for the next chapter. I hope that it won't take too long!


The only mistake I found is that you forgot to end quote on this one.

It didn't help when her mom glanced up and studied her features, clearly taking notice of the blush. "You alright there kiddo? Or do mares just really turn you on? Delta asked.

8893129
I definitely wanted Apogee's point of view about incest to seem a little more... enlightened? For lack of a better word. She just wants her mom to love her.

8893337

Yeah the hoof thing... In some ways I think the way I wrote about it comes off kind of a fetish, but I also didn't necessarily intent it to be taken that way? But It does seem like that a little. It's more just what she happens to be focused on right now... hoofsies are cute.

Glad the blueballing wasn't too much.

Also, fixed. Thanks.

OMFG MORE SPACE PONYOS, WOOOOO!

Seriously, I get so happy when I see a new fic with these characters pop up, all you guys who write stories about Shinodage's characters are just such great writers; when I see one pop up I basically have a 100% guarantee the fic won't be a shitpost, and will actually be written *well*, with a story in mind, not just clop for clop's sake, and properly descriptive in it's telling.

Plus the characters are just fun too ;)

8894301
We all really enjoy telling stories about these pones. It's a lot easier to make interesting and fun stories when source material like the Space Ponyos is already so good.

8895446
I think that's why MLP fics (in general anyway :P) are so good. The characters have a surprising amount of depth and development for a kid's show, which in turn is why the fandom itself developed, which I think is something the general public tends to forget or ignore.

I've actually been thinking about trying to write a Space Ponyo fic myself, but....1) haven't been able to think of a plot 2) it'd be my first fic ever, and while I'm confident in my writing abilities, I'm unsure if I want my first fic to be a story around someone else's characters, or my own.

8896417
I've always thought the other way around: that MLP has an incredibly broad array of elements, all completely unexplored beyond their current state. By leaving so much blank space while showing so many kinds of fantastical feats, you pique the imagination without setting any real boundaries. And so many elements of the series, especially the 6 main characters, are commonly understood. An author says "manticore" or "cockatrice", they're already done explaining it, but even better, they say "Applejack, the farm girl", bam, the character's already fully fleshed out: hard-working, honest, accent, physically strong, focus on family.

Lauren Faust did a great job setting up the show, with her choice of clearly stereotyped characters and minimalistic art style. Honestly, imagine having to write fanfics about what I've seen of gen 5. Describing just the nuances of their coat colors will be frustrating enough.

I think the show grew weaker when she left, because they started filling in all the blank spaces: Twilight grows more powerful (less room to grow, I loved reading Twilight-becomes-an-alicorn fics), villains are reformed left and right, backstory comes flooding in. The changelings were by far the most interesting element ever added, but they never did something like that again, so authors have had to invent their own elements to do new things, and it's mostly been sci-fi ever since.


Ah, sorry for rambling. Space ponyo fics are very different from more standard MLP fics because of how deep, as opposed to broad, the source material is. I'd say it makes stories very easy to write, but also limits how much can be said about the subject. Creative space will run out a lot faster (aside from smut, which can always fit in more.)

Yay update! :yay:

...and it was well worth the wait. I love this mother-daughter bonding, the personal and intimate connection they create. I love their awkwardness and stuttering, every little pause and hitch. I love how genuine they are and I’ll thank Everfree for such a heart-to-heart moment.

I’m a sucker for stories in which sex isn’t the ultimate goal, but it’s employed as a powerful narrative tool to bring a greater point across. It’s great to see a new outstanding example of a story that does it so well.

And what’s to come? Now I’m more curious than ever about the upcoming chapter. I’ll break a lance in favor of Clops: this feels like a good point for a break, while still keeping the interest for the follow-up at an all-time high.

8896417
I'd mostly agree with your assessment.
You should give writing a chance. Anyone who can write in English has the potential write an awesome story. It's daunting to start, but after you get those first few paragraphs out of the way it gets better and better.

8896924
I'd say some of what you said makes sense. I personally think a lot more of it comes down to how popular and quality the original source material is. MLP was really good even before the art scene got big for it. It's the fact it was always good that drew people to it and it snowballed from there. The same is true for Space Ponyos. People like Shino as an artist and Clops' smash hit fic drew more people in and the whole OC cast became popular which only draws more and more people in.

8897338
Yeah I'm not good about doing smut on its own. Everything I write needs to have some kind of larger theme or narrative or I won't be able to write worth a damn. In a lot of ways I don't see Apovee as a fic about a a mom and her daughter having sex.. it's more a story about them learning to respect and appreciate each other more than they did before. The sex is kinda just a bonus... or at least a common meeting point for them since both are really sexual by nature.

8897338
Couldn't have said it better myself lol. xRei gets those tender moments down splendidly, and it's super awesome to see a more tender, motherly side to Vee.

8898286

You should give writing a chance. Anyone who can write in English has the potential write an awesome story. It's daunting to start, but after you get those first few paragraphs out of the way it gets better and better.

Yeah, like I said before, it's not so much a motivation or anxiety problem, or a skill problem (not to brag, but English and Literature professors friggin' LOVED me lol), as it is an issue of 'Ok, what the actual hell DO I write...?' I have one or two very basic ideas, but when it comes to actually fleshing things out and thinking about where they'll go and eventually end, I just keep drawing blanks. Like sure, I don't need EVERY detail fully hammered out before I start, but I kinda want more than just the initial idea. I tried doing that (just starting to write with the basic idea for something) a few years back, with an intro fic for my OC I never ended up publishing, and it ended up just petering out cuz I didn't know where I wanted to go with it.

8898718
The extend of my planning is usually just several sentences laying out in very basic detail what will likely happen in the story. 98% of the rest just sort of comes to me as I write. Things also change a lot as I go. I don't think it's a good idea to keep yourself beholden to any static 'idea'. Pick a general idea for a plot, jot down how you think it might go and then just write. Writing is the only important part. If you're writing, the ideas will come.

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