When Jet Stream puts his and Apogee's special Tuesday nights on hold three weeks in a row, the frustrated teen decides to turn to her mother Delta Vee for help. When things don't work out like she imagined she finds herself having to improvise.
Diving head-first (hue) right into action with Delta's point of view. That dude was pretty arrogant. He'll get what's coming to him... eventually. Probably off-screen though. Oh well.
Delta's evening just kept getting worse and worse, didn't it? I said it before and I'll say it again (probably not word by word), but you have described her frustration beautifully. It just kept mounting more and more, and in the end she just burst.
I'm really looking forward to more, though. This will certainly be a fun bonding experience, even more so since Apogee was in the middle of her own fun when Delta screeched her name
I thought there was no smut in this chapter? I’m glad I was wrong!
The smut, to me, looked well written and hit all the right spots, but what I found most interesting was its use from a storytelling perspective, how it played a role in effectively introducing and rounding up Deltaìs character, in such a way that it would be unthinkable to replace it with a fade to black. Good job!
Smut was all good, but my favourite part has to be the one in which Delta spots Apogee. I love the underlying cuteness of it, Delta’s incredulity, her quick and sharp conflict, and the blissful ignorance of Apogee inside.
I didn’t properly emphasize how much I’m liking this fic so far. It’s been great up to this point, I’m eagerly looking forward to the next update
I know Gypsum is unrelated, but that opening scene had me thinking so bad about 1632528
"You're kind of... old?" he said, his body tensing expectantly.
...Wow, I genuinely feel sick to my stomach now, I hope he gets what's coming to him as in a swift beatdown. No words can accurately describe how... bad I feel for Delta in this, though I'm positive she'd hate that, it's really hard to not have that desire to just help her somehow, even though she'd dislike it, I feel.
That was close, she thought to herself, shaking her head in amusement as her chuckling slowly died out. She regarded the old, rusty machinery in front of her for a moment. It was a part of the atlas series of rocket fuselages and had been slowly accumulating rust for about as long as the junkyard had been open.One of these days we'll get you fixed up, she thought, her mind buzzing warmly.You've just been out here all this time, slowly aging in the desert huh? You old rusty bitch!
This shouldn't be completely italics, yeah it's in her thoughts, but you only italicize the actual thoughts themselves, though this might just be a style thing, I dunno.
That was close, she thought to herself, shaking her head in amusement as her chuckling slowly died out. She regarded the old, rusty machinery in front of her for a moment. It was a part of the atlas series of rocket fuselages and had been slowly accumulating rust for about as long as the junkyard had been open. One of these days we'll get you fixed up, she thought, her mind buzzing warmly. You've just been out here all this time, slowly aging in the desert huh? You old rusty bitch!
Looks better that way, imho.
I should be in there right now,she thought bitterly.Don't I deserve at least that much? To be able to enjoy my own fucking dildo in my own damn house so I can get rid of this… fucking...agony!?
Everything in this up to
With a shaky hoof, Delta reached down to her shirt pocket and fished out her pack of cigarettes.
Is in italics, should remedy that, Rei.
Other than that, nice work on this, nice work.
Wish I could help Delta out, but alas, I do not have that ability... cept in fic writing, hue.
8704658 Keep in mind Delta was just having a bad night. It isn't as though it's some kind of firm stance she is taking, but rather just some impassioned and frustrated thoughts.
8705263 Oh, no, I hadn't italicized those sections correctly. Shocking how I can continuously miss this even when I do a scan after publishing. It's fixed now so thanks for pointing them out.
8705314 No problem, you'd be surprised how often you miss the obvious stuff even if you look carefully. Helps to have a fresh eye to look it over, hehe
Awww poor Delta, let's hope she won't go rough on Apogee much. Well, at least she didn't have to bring that bloody guy to the house while Apogee is having her own fun in the bedroom.
The bar scene makes me quite sad about Delta's life turned down from a rokcet engineer to a broken mare, she should be working with EQSA not going haywire; drinking, smoking and trying to get herself got banged by random stallions weekly. Heck, I don't think that it's purely Jet's fault even if he's really tricking her into drinking and sexing with him. She seems doing fine while carrying Apogee(1635392) until things went down after that a few years later. I would like to know what really cause the falldown, but let's wait for Shino to update his story blog.
Great chapter, I can't wait to read another one. It's time for mother-daughter very close intimacy!
8770433 I made a blog post about this recently but to clarify I am working on it right now. How some RL issues that delayed me for a few months but It should be done in a few days.
Well done Rei!
Smoking hot clop scene with everyone's favorite MILF, Delta.
Fantastic overall treatment, can't wait to see what happens next!
Diving head-first (hue) right into action with Delta's point of view. That dude was pretty arrogant. He'll get what's coming to him... eventually. Probably off-screen though. Oh well.
Delta's evening just kept getting worse and worse, didn't it? I said it before and I'll say it again (probably not word by word), but you have described her frustration beautifully. It just kept mounting more and more, and in the end she just burst.
I'm really looking forward to more, though. This will certainly be a fun bonding experience, even more so since Apogee was in the middle of her own fun when Delta screeched her name
I can already see how Apogee is gonna take this reaction the wrong way. #Angrysex
8703637
Don't count the plucky girl out yet. She's got tricks up her sleeve...
8703585
8702821
Yeah, I can't wait to see what happens next too.
Oh, wait...
breaths deeply calm calm calm calm calm calm...
aside from that, nice chapter. And now... what everyone is waiting for?
I thought there was no smut in this chapter? I’m glad I was wrong!
The smut, to me, looked well written and hit all the right spots, but what I found most interesting was its use from a storytelling perspective, how it played a role in effectively introducing and rounding up Deltaìs character, in such a way that it would be unthinkable to replace it with a fade to black. Good job!
Smut was all good, but my favourite part has to be the one in which Delta spots Apogee. I love the underlying cuteness of it, Delta’s incredulity, her quick and sharp conflict, and the blissful ignorance of Apogee inside.
I didn’t properly emphasize how much I’m liking this fic so far. It’s been great up to this point, I’m eagerly looking forward to the next update
I know Gypsum is unrelated, but that opening scene had me thinking so bad about 1632528
8704810
i really wish Gypsum returns to have more fun with Delta. I like his character a lot
8704834
To be fair, he had his little cameo in Diamond's in the Rough, wasn’t he lovable there too?
8704874
well, for the little that he appeared he sure was. He and Delta could do it again, he's way better than this last one
...Wow, I genuinely feel sick to my stomach now, I hope he gets what's coming to him as in a swift beatdown.
No words can accurately describe how... bad I feel for Delta in this, though I'm positive she'd hate that, it's really hard to not have that desire to just help her somehow, even though she'd dislike it, I feel.
This shouldn't be completely italics, yeah it's in her thoughts, but you only italicize the actual thoughts themselves, though this might just be a style thing, I dunno.
Looks better that way, imho.
Everything in this up to
Is in italics, should remedy that, Rei.
Other than that, nice work on this, nice work.
Wish I could help Delta out, but alas, I do not have that ability... cept in fic writing, hue.
Good work, good work.
8704658
Keep in mind Delta was just having a bad night. It isn't as though it's some kind of firm stance she is taking, but rather just some impassioned and frustrated thoughts.
8705263
Oh, no, I hadn't italicized those sections correctly. Shocking how I can continuously miss this even when I do a scan after publishing. It's fixed now so thanks for pointing them out.
8705314
No problem, you'd be surprised how often you miss the obvious stuff even if you look carefully. Helps to have a fresh eye to look it over, hehe
8705314
don't worry man. This is just one of those things that gets me really anxious (I'm not gonna get too personal, not in a place like this)
I know you wouldn't ahem pull the card, you're a good writer after all. It's just some personal thing, that's all. You didn't ruined Delta one bit
Awww poor Delta, let's hope she won't go rough on Apogee much. Well, at least she didn't have to bring that bloody guy to the house while Apogee is having her own fun in the bedroom.
The bar scene makes me quite sad about Delta's life turned down from a rokcet engineer to a broken mare, she should be working with EQSA not going haywire; drinking, smoking and trying to get herself got banged by random stallions weekly. Heck, I don't think that it's purely Jet's fault even if he's really tricking her into drinking and sexing with him. She seems doing fine while carrying Apogee(1635392) until things went down after that a few years later. I would like to know what really cause the falldown, but let's wait for Shino to update his story blog.
Great chapter, I can't wait to read another one. It's time for mother-daughter very close intimacy!
8705314
Think there’s a chance of this ending happily with a father/daughter/mother incest threeway?
8708637
that's what everyone is hoping, my dear friend
This thing might actually get bigger than FO:E at this pace.
8750757
Time will tell my friend.
Can't wait for the next chapter,any idea when will it be posted?
I like it so far. Hope there will be more eventually!
8770433
I made a blog post about this recently but to clarify I am working on it right now.
How some RL issues that delayed me for a few months but It should be done in a few days.
Oh...crap...Aopgee RUN!!!