Star Swirl the Bearded is freed from over 1,000 years spent in Limbo, but a dark presence is released with him. So he decides to be a complete jerk about the whole thing.
The room fell silent as the sound of tiny pads hitting tiny stairs could be heard before a tiny door opened on top of the table nearly right under Star Swirl’s nose. Out of the tiny trap-door appeared a tiny tan colored dog with a teeny-tiny curled white tail and white underbelly. He wore teeny-tiny headphones which had a doubly-teeny-tiny microphone and glared up at Star Swirl with the tiniest-tiniest pair of little doggy eyes perhaps in all of existence.
Sup, buddy?
“Then just ask Rockhoof to bean you with his shovel, already!” Order quipped. “Unless you weren’t including yourself. In which case Starlight is also right here and all you need is some wind and a few kites to keep her happy.”
I missed you.
“Well of course it became powerful!” Star Swirl interjected. “Anything from my seed is bound to be glorious.”
Uh, phrasing.
“Oh, that’s good…” Rainbow Dash said. “I should use that.”
Correct.
Order happily swatted at the forehoof with a paw. “Oh, I’ll happily blind that old goat for free any day of the week!”
I REALLY like you.
“Hah! Oh, go on!” Order said with a swat at the air. “No, really. I thrive on compliments!”
I'm sure.
Twilight frowned. “Why does everypony keep picking on Star Swirl! He’s not that bad!”
... You are denser than a black hole.
Twilight raised an eyebrow as the pony in her clutches struggled for breath. “I think you mean ‘cats’.”
Order narrowed his eyes “No. No, I don’t.”
He's a dog, what do you expect?
Starlight rubbed her chin slightly. “Dragon physiology is weird…”
Oh yeah.
“I’m not going to just slug the legendary Star Swirl the Bearded, alright?!”
Pity.
Star Swirl turned towards the open balcony and shook a forehoof at a single fluffy white cloud in the sky. “AND IT’S A TESTAMENT TO YOUR CONTINUAL FAILURE AS A PONY!”
Someone knock his teeth out. Or at least A tooth out. He needs not just a humble pie, but a humble fucking banquet.
“If Ponyville calls for aid, I will supply it,” Celestia informed, “However, I’m confident Twilight and her friends can handle the old man’s tantrums,” she added. “Dealing with powerful magical beings who don’t understand friendship is sort of her specialty after all.” Celestia pulled in on herself somewhat. “Also, just remembering the sound of bells and the sight of Star Swirl’s beard fills me with a dread I had hoped I had laid to rest a long time ago…”
Considering all he does is yell, I can see why.
“Oh, good,” Luna replied as she got on her belly and crawled under the bed. “Oof!” she frowned as her flank had a sudden issue getting under the edge of the bed and silently wondered how her own sister managed to fit in such a confined space. With a tug, she pulled the rest of herself under the bed and cozied up to her sister in the confined space. “How long do you think we should stay in the designated ‘No Bearded and Bell Wearing Boys Allowed’ Fort?’”
Until he stops being a bearded bastard.
“Of course, Sister… Though I remember the space under your bed being substantially larger over a 1,000 years ago…”
You were probably smaller then. Or she had a bigger bed.
Star Swirl continued, “Also the Pillars and I will once again be trapped in limbo, thus, not only invalidating my useless strumpet of an assistant's work but in fact objectively make things worse than they were before she undid my spell.”
... Do you even THINK when you talk?
“And what, pray-tell, would I ask them about?! If chocolate chip cookies are inherently superior to sugar cookies?!”
They are.
Oddly enough, it was Fluttershy that broke the silence. "There's another Princess you know. One that doesn’t control the sun or the moon.”
There's also Discord whom I'm sure would LOVE to screw with Starswirl.
“Then she’s the Princess of Time!?” Star Swirl asked, the corners of his lips looking like they might break into a smile.
Nope.
“Oh, that is jus’ precious!” Meadowbrook mentioned.
She also helped reduce King Sombra to dust.
“Come to think of it,” Fluttershy said, her sentence briefly interrupted by a rage snarl from Star Swirl which she ignored as Star Swirl returned to examining the tree of harmony, “things would go much easier if Discord were here to help…”
For most things. Which is probably why he doesn't. Because he likes seeing others struggle. He's a bit of a dick.
At once, the room darkened again as a sickly-green spotlight hit the Harmony Table just as a bulge in the table’s surface sprang up. A bolt of lightning arced from the ceiling and struck this odd swelling, causing it to burst open as Discord, wearing a black-and-white vertically striped suit, black tie, and purple-undershirt sprung forth, cackling and laughing as he flailed about and fixed the ponies present with a mad, manic grin. “Iiiiiiit’s show time!” He declared.
What is that a reference to?
With a heavy ‘SNAP!’ of his finger an orange traffic cone appeared over Star Swirl’s head muffling his voice, magic, and most importantly, his bells.
“Yes, none of that right now,” Discord said.
Thank you.
“My Roof! Roof! Roof! Ro…” Order’s eyelids dropped and he shot up a glare at Discord. “Oh, I get it… and I don’t approve.”
I do.
“My apologies,” Discord grinned and snapped his fingers, as a green leather outfit with golden trim appeared on his body along with a large, golden headpiece with a pair of massive curved golden horns extending from the front. “Is this more towards your liking?”
Loki.
Somnambula joined Rockhoof in firing up a disapproving glare at the Lord of Chaos. “That is decidedly the opposite of ‘low-key’.”
Discord shook his head. “Oh, I know a rather powerful mouse that would disagree there!”
I GET IT!
“THAT DOESN’T COUNT IF YOU EXISTED BEFORE THAT WORD, COUNTRY OF REFERENCE, OR CONCEPT OF WORDS EXISTED!” Order insisted forcefully.
Fair.
“Well, Twilight, my dear?” Discord purred. “You’ve just got to let me know. Should I stay or should I go? Do you want my help with your angsty little rain-cloud, or not?” Still smiling, his words took on a somewhat dark, sinister tone. “Do note that your decision might affect my presence with any tempests or storms that grace your doorstep soon.”
Choose carefully now.
Twilight closed her eyes and took a deep breath. “Thank you, Discord,” she said in an even tone. “But this is a pony problem. We’ll fix it on our own.”
You're an idiot.
“So be it,” Discord said, any hint of mischief or mirth disappearing from his face. He pulled up to his full height and simply looked down with a blank expression at Twilight. At once, the alicorn mare felt her heart sink. In spite of his disarming behavior Discord wielded a power that shouldn’t be disrespected, and she had basically dismissed his help if only because her idol -whom she had just met today- would have disapproved. Worse than that, she had just snubbed the first friend who had offered help without attacking Twilight’s behavior that day; and she knew then and there, that she had just made a mistake.
Discord is like Pinkie. When he stops smiling, you know you fucked up.
Appearing quite chuffed, Discord looked about the ponies present. “Goodbye, friends! Good luck with the oncoming maelstrom that’s sure to hit your next party.”
Oh no...
Star Swirl furrowed his brows angrily at Fluttershy and for a moment, many of the ponies present flashed concerned looks as if they might have to stop the old wizard from a magical assault. Instead, he opted for his normal route of screaming. “Grogar can’t die, he’s immortal!”
Come again?
“Must be what his back end looks, like,” Applejack quipped much to the delight of the Pillars present.
With a zap from the point above his hat, white light corrected the oversight of the table and its map causing it to unwrap into .....(the).......crystal tree that contained the elements of harmony.
“Well, anyway,” Twilight said, “it didn’t seem like Rockhoof and Flash Magnus where all that pleased to see you.”
where = location. You probably meant "were"
“Uh look, I’mma ......(gonna).....be straight with ya,” Applejack said.
“Look, Discord, I know there’s a time in (and) a place for goofiness, but now’s not the time, Ah mean… Look at Pinkie!” Applejack motioned towards the pink mare.
At once, the room darkened again as a sickly-green spotlight hit the Harmony Table just as a bulge in the table’s surface sprang up. A bolt of lightning arced from the ceiling and struck this odd swelling, causing it to burst open as Discord, wearing a black-and-white vertically striped suit, black tie, and purple-undershirt sprung forth, cackling and laughing as he flailed about and fixed the ponies present with a mad, manic grin. “Iiiiiiit’s show time!” He declared.
What is that a reference to?
That my friend is a reference to Beetlejuice, aka the Ghost with the Most.
Huh. So Discord's brother is a living Silent Hill 2 reference. Makes as much sense as anything else in this story. And I mean that as a compliment.
Also, Twilight's decision and inner turmoil regarding Discord was very well presented. She'll be regretting that in short order...
Still, I do hope that whatever atrocities Star Swirl performed in his evil hole will finally take the bloom off the rose for Twilight. And that her vengeance will be thorough and terrible.
“Well, why the heck am I jus’ hearing about this now?!”
“So, Rarity even knows?!” Applejack exclaimed. She looked about the room. “Am I literally the last pony to hear about this?!”
“Uh…” Sunburst said.
“Sorry, Sunburst,” Applejack said, “Yer so quiet, I kinda forget yer here half the time… Worse than Fluttershy even.”
“Hey!” Applejack protested. “Ah’ve learned a lot recently about keeping mah trap shut or watchin’ what I say so I don’t have to commit kidnappin’s to make things right… or ya know… digging shallow graves as the case may be.”
There's something that most people either ignore, or simply don't know about and should.
Mesotherms. Leatherback Turtles (a type of Mesothermic creature) are mostly endothermic (warm blooded), and do (as well as other saltwater reptiles) have glands that excrete salt and excess fluids from the body.
So being a Mesotherm. He'd be less like a reptile (especially since he doesn't need to hibernate in the winter, and cold weather doesn't decrease his ability to move about. Big hint that he's not a reptile (ectotherm), and more like a dinosaur or some amalgamation between animal and reptile.
Also. Spike is a magical creature. Beings of magic usually break common conventions of what can do what, or how biology works on earth. --- --- As for your question on Star Swirl ... it should be obvious. He's the one that's actually evil. I mean hell, he banished (And talked the pillars into banishing) their support character out of spite rather than talking to him. Sentenced all of the pillars to limbo (and now wants to murder harmony, invalidating Twilight's less destructive help, just because it'd go against what a woman said)), and is a sociopathic twatnugget.
Of course someone as delusional and supervilliany levels of evil would have an evil goat. Not just any evil goat though. But a necromancer /lich goat that steals souls to sustain itself. Cause what good is being immortal if you aren't destroying souls of the innocent for your own personal gains (Starswirl Logic)?
If you meant the importance of the bells? Well he's as you said "he's a cartoonishly giant, self-absorbed beard with a jerk-ass hanging off of it." He needs to let everyone in hearing distance know he's around, and if needed pimp smack a mare. The metal hits harder than his hoof would.
8589886 Starswirl hasn't do enough to show that he is a sociopath. I mean sure he is EXTREMELY sexist. Yes he is a TOTAL ASSHOLE. Although what has he done that is actually EVIL before now? I mean he got paranoid that the Party Support was going after them, but yeah. I mean Star Swirl has even defeated REAL evil like the Sirens before. So Starswirl is bad, real bad, but he hasn't shown himself to be EVIL before now.
So to me it just strikes me as a HUGE leap to go from "Paranoid Narcissistic Sexist Douchebag" to "Has fond feelings of an EVIL GOAT MONSTER". I mean he talks about defending equestira, but Grogar tried to fuck it up. So it just seems TOO FAR.
He defeated the Sirens by dumping them on an unsuspecting universe. Who had no power, knowledge, or ability to fight nor resist them. And who knows how many other evils he sent to Earth? Or like the party support. Played an active role to them turning evil in the first place.
Then there was the fact that his sollution to dealing with the PoS that he created in the first place, was to send everyone into limbo. Without caring about the loves, families, friends of the other Pillars that would die while they were stuck there of the other Pillars. Treated the other Pillars like support for his ego and bravado. And is a walking ball of asshollery. Sure in S8, we might see a good side to him.
Then there's this fic. Which he has super villain status. I can give reasons for why he's a super villain in this fic if you'd like.
8589942 I'll cover it more next chapter, but this Grogar is gonna be a bit different from the Grogar we know... I mean, physically Grogar will look the same, but just because Star Swirl has a creepy goat made out of the nightmares of the recently dead causes a random heart to stop in the world everytime he bleats that resides in some sort of terrible realm of horror doesn't mean Star Swirl is EVIL.
But it could very well mean he's very, very oblivious.
Cause he has a massive ego and wants everyone to know he's around when he where ever he goes XD. I mean even in canon he was shown to have quite a bit of an ego (and a bit of an ass till the very end.). Or it could be he just likes bells and thinks they sound cool.
Technically they had a wide variety of uses. Including summoning demons, deities, spirits, as well as banishment. To harmonize a spell with a certain effect depending on the bell. As well as warding. At least traditionally in ancient religious / magical practices.
But that was just one bell, and needed to be clearly wrung (or a singular bell tied to a specific body part). Old Swirly there has bells on every inch of his hat, and all throughout the trail of his cape. Which is way more than what was used in spell work / functionality.
Discord laid onto his side, his midsection arcing up with the massive open bulge in the table. He propped up his chin with his lion’s paw. “Oh, lighten up, you old puppy. You should be happy I’m here.”
“I’ll be happy when you figure out how ta respect other people’s property!” Order exclaimed. “Bad enough I have to deal with you during the holidays…” he muttered.
Sometimes the things you didn't know you wanted are the best. Though not so much when you don't actually have them. Seperate fic exploring their interactions please!
“Oh… he did not…” There was the sound of tiny dog feet stomping as a hatch opened up in the side of the window and Order stuck his head out to witness the mount of broken crystals that once was the top of the Table of Harmony. “GRRRRAAAAA!” Order exclaimed. “That guy is the WORST! I am so telling mom about this!”
Another nice run of your usual mix of wordplay, cultural references, general sociopathy, injokes, callbacks, call forwards, and all around craziness. Hooray!
8589967 Didn't he know the place didn't have magic though, and thus rendering the sirens powerless? Again, they weren't a real threat until The Rainbow and the Rainbooms. They hadn't really gained much power to influence the others or do anything Evil, until Adagio sensed that there was Magic on Earth.
Well sure it's bad...maybe evil with a lower case, but I don't see anything that makes him Super Villain like Tirek or Chrysalis or Alicorn Amulet Trixie.
8590977 Actually that's wrong. He thought they'd be sent to a place without magic where they'd be powerless. But in the opening of Rainbow Rocks we see that they have their magic, can influence others to do what they want, and effect others whenever / whereever they want.
Slightly weaker true. But even before they ate the Rainbooms Negativity (And Equestrian Magic from that), they were able to effect an entire school, mind rape others, feed off of any group of people not the Rainbooms (at least not without setting it up that they fought without their singing starting it), and were in full control of their powers. So he (Star Swirl) did 0 research, had 0 care, never once looked into where he was using as Equestria's toilet and if it'd be safe for the population there, and gave less than 0 fks as long as it was no longer his problem.
(The movie states that he "Sent them to a place where he thought had no magic, and would remove their connection to their powers." Keyword "thought". Not once did it state that he had been there, knew anything about the place. It was basically "Hey, this looks about right ... probably ... possibly. And if they're there it's no longer my problem. Win-win.")
8591208 Mmmh. Well they didn't seem to be getting that fed though. They seemed more like nomads who would go around causing some problems, they never really seemed to have any serious plans to take anything over. When we first see them, there's ZERO evidence that they really did any serious long term damage. The only reason they stick around enough and become a TRUE threat is again...because of Twilight & Sunset bringing Magic to Earth.
Okay yeah he THOUGHT, but what options did he really have to deal with the threat at the level of Sirens? I mean this was a GLOBAL Level Threat. We're talking Discord, Tirek, Chrysalis. etc. It's not like they he had the Elements of Harmony or anything, so what exactly would he have done instead....? I mean the most powerful banishing magic seemed to require him and his friends to go to a Timeless Limbo. So what could he have done instead? That's not the work of someone Evil, not even evil.
I mean shit, in that case Governments are Evil for arming dangerous rebels and shit like, just so that they can combat their enemies from afar.
8591317 The obvious solution would be to destroy their crystals. Those were the source of the Sirens' power all along. Destroy the gems, and they lose their power. Rainbow Rocks made that point pretty clear. And if Starswirl really was as mighty a sorcerer as he claimed, then he would have known the importance of those gemstones. Presumably they could have come up with something to shatter those stones with that didn't involve nonexistent Elements. A sonic weapon comes to mind.
But what is the final nail in the coffin as far as I'm concerned, is how Starswirl was going to handle the PoS problem in the actual show. Rather than try to understand what makes the Elements so powerful, he just reasoned that they were very powerful magic crystals, which he could then use as a giant club to beat the PoS to death with. While this would probably destroy the crystals, what difference did it make? They were just magic crystals. No big loss.
That kind of casual indifference to consequences sounds typical of Starswirl, and I'm talking the actual show-canon version. After all, Celestia was the first to point out to Twilight during her ascension that Starswirl didn't understand friendship. To him, everything was either a giant club he could mash things with, or a threat he could stuff into a portal and be done with. That's not the resume of a wizard I want practicing magic in my kingdom, and that's again just the canon version. The version in this story is so bad I kind of want someone with alicorn power to show up, give the madness a sort of level "you're kidding, right?" expression, before firing a single bolt of energy that vaporizes the lunatic in the hat. Then he can go back to being safely dead again, and everyone else will be so much happier!
8591317 On my phone. And you can't put the Sirens on par with Discord (reality warper, invulnerable, neigh unlimited levels of magic, immune to 99.999% all things that exist.), or Tirek (Magic eater, neigh invulnerable, super strength; durability; endurance; on par with alicorns in terms of power).
One was sent to Tartarus, the other had the EoH (surpringingly very little to do with what the Pillars stood for) turn him to stone.
And nomadic yes. Full power maybe not. But you seriously need to rewatch the movie like I have (DWK totally legit recap, and the movie itself.). They had the same power prebanishment. Causing a diner to go postal, then with out a single sip of Equestrian Magic:
- Were able to brainwash people. - Were able to get people to do what they wanted. - Were able to do incite aggression and discorf easily.
The same MO for when banished. All they were doing in Equestria was go around. Spreading negativity. So they could eat. The whole divide and conquer thing never fit their MO. They like NMM wanted adoration, and power.
And unlike changlings, never imprisoned peeps, and were only 3. Not a whole race. ____ ____
As for banishment, SS he was like all the canon things he did was negligent, arrogant, and sucked at friendship / dealing with other ponies.
He was the Da Vinci of spells though. Yet never thought to do a binding spell, redirection / mirror spell, alter the very noticeable gems on their necks, look for the pony responsible for the gem enchantment (gem magic being older than he was), or even a petryfing nor reformation spell (2 spells so common one had a full meal for Discord, the other was a favorite of Celestia's and existed in nature.)
So he had tons of options. None of which he did. I mean he'll, the Sirens were less of a threat than Windigos, and all the things you mentioned.
As for Limbo. Again a problem SS created via his own arrogance / actions.
Twilight has passed the point of maximum suspended disbelief. To be honest, I was kinda put out by the second chapter, and things certainly aren't going any better. Plus, the whole scene where she tells Discord no, just... Well, it just killed off what little enjoyment I had left in the story. I finished the chapter, and I'll read the next one, but man, if it keeps going like this, I'm quitting.
There is a point where the abuse stops being Looney Tunes funny, and we've gone flying right by it.
8591797 I'd have to agree in the sense that we're at the point where Twilight should be able to break past her hero-worship and realize that this stuck up pig, regardless of how she may feel about him personally, is destroying everything Celestia, Luna and Twilight have been building for the last thousand years. All to feed his own ego. Also, there has to be a point where her own ego asserts itself.
As for how this might happen, hopefully it'll be when Twilight realizes this lunatic is "friends" with a major eldritch horror, and is completely oblivious to the risks involved. That really flies totally in the face of what friendship really means, and should shock the pony princess of friendship like nothing else could. Really, the moment she lays eyes on the travesty that Starswirl calls "friendship," she should snap out of her fugue.
Of course, as often happens, the pendulum in such cases will tend to swing entirely the other way over, so we might wind up with hyper-competent, laser-focused Midnight Sparkle for our troubles. But at least it'll be epic. And Sunset will have to talk her down like the other one. Assuming she isn't helping, of course.
So pony needs to do the right thing...l.and rip star swirls beard clean off his ugly arrogant self entitled face wipe there flank with it and shove it down his throat
As for how this might happen, hopefully it'll be when Twilight realizes this lunatic is "friends" with a major eldritch horror, and is completely oblivious to the risks involved.
To be fair, so is Fluttershy. Just with less obliviousness.
What Twilight needs a smackdown on is her choosing her idol's approval over a friend. Yes, Twilight and Discord may not have a friendship as close and he and Fluttershy do, but they are friends nonetheless. And she told him to go because her idol glared 'no.' That's a major failure of friendship there.
8592003 Well, superficial similarities aside, that movie had plot holes you could fly the Enterprise through. Don't get me wrong, though. It's still the best of the Trek movies, in my opinion. But to think that neither Sulu or Spock ever happened to notice the star system they were flying into was missing a planet???
This is basic astrogation. Even if everyone else had no particular reason to notice, the science officer and pilot both had good reasons to tap the captain on the shoulder and say, "Ah... Captain Kirk? There's something I think you might want to know about..."
I wish I could cut half of this out just to answer one part, but I digress.
At once, the room darkened again as a sickly-green spotlight hit the Harmony Table just as a bulge in the table’s surface sprang up. A bolt of lightning arced from the ceiling and struck this odd swelling, causing it to burst open as Discord, wearing a black-and-white vertically striped suit, black tie, and purple-undershirt sprung forth, cackling and laughing as he flailed about and fixed the ponies present with a mad, manic grin. “Iiiiiiit’s show time!” He declared.
Show came out in 89 and ended in 91. Rather different from the movie, but it was a very good cartoon. There are a few episodes up on YouTube if you want to check them out.
This story is just hilarious.
I loved Discord's cameo here. Twilight is going to be kicking herself when the movie rolls in
Been ages since I've seen that movie and/or children's tv show.
OH YES.
Sup, buddy?
I missed you.
Uh, phrasing.
Correct.
I REALLY like you.
I'm sure.
... You are denser than a black hole.
He's a dog, what do you expect?
Oh yeah.
Pity.
Someone knock his teeth out. Or at least A tooth out. He needs not just a humble pie, but a humble fucking banquet.
Considering all he does is yell, I can see why.
Until he stops being a bearded bastard.
You were probably smaller then. Or she had a bigger bed.
... Do you even THINK when you talk?
They are.
There's also Discord whom I'm sure would LOVE to screw with Starswirl.
Nope.
She also helped reduce King Sombra to dust.
For most things. Which is probably why he doesn't. Because he likes seeing others struggle. He's a bit of a dick.
What is that a reference to?
Thank you.
I do.
Loki.
I GET IT!
Fair.
Choose carefully now.
You're an idiot.
Discord is like Pinkie. When he stops smiling, you know you fucked up.
Oh no...
Come again?
HAH!
Wait, it's been so long since I read the last chapter, who was Sunset having sex with?
where = location. You probably meant "were"
Starswirl is responsible for Grogar? What, was he also responsible for the Storm King?
8589504
I think it was Flash.
8589333
That my friend is a reference to Beetlejuice, aka the Ghost with the Most.
8589504: Flash.
Huh. So Discord's brother is a living Silent Hill 2 reference. Makes as much sense as anything else in this story. And I mean that as a compliment.
Also, Twilight's decision and inner turmoil regarding Discord was very well presented. She'll be regretting that in short order...
Still, I do hope that whatever atrocities Star Swirl performed in his evil hole will finally take the bloom off the rose for Twilight. And that her vengeance will be thorough and terrible.
I love this story!
The fact Twilight is behaving similarly to the way she did in Sunset Shimmer is mad at everything isn’t that surprising.
Her Idol worship did blind her greatly to Starswirl’s faults even in OTL, now both are being exaggerated for comic effect.
#1 How in the HELL is Spike a mammal and NOT a reptile?! (Reptiles don' sweeat)
#2 Why the FUCK would Star Swirl have such a raging hard on for an evil goat?! O.o;
Star Swirl's role as the "bad guy" in this story doesn't work because he's a giant, self-absorbed beard with a jerk-ass hanging off of it.
It works because he's a cartoonishly giant, self-absorbed beard with a jerk-ass hanging off of it.
And, ok, seriously, what is up with all the bells?! Like, I'm really asking outside the context of this story. What the hell?
Ah
____________
8589806
There's something that most people either ignore, or simply don't know about and should.
Mesotherms. Leatherback Turtles (a type of Mesothermic creature) are mostly endothermic (warm blooded), and do (as well as other saltwater reptiles) have glands that excrete salt and excess fluids from the body.
So being a Mesotherm. He'd be less like a reptile (especially since he doesn't need to hibernate in the winter, and cold weather doesn't decrease his ability to move about. Big hint that he's not a reptile (ectotherm), and more like a dinosaur or some amalgamation between animal and reptile.
Also. Spike is a magical creature. Beings of magic usually break common conventions of what can do what, or how biology works on earth.
---
---
As for your question on Star Swirl ... it should be obvious. He's the one that's actually evil. I mean hell, he banished (And talked the pillars into banishing) their support character out of spite rather than talking to him. Sentenced all of the pillars to limbo (and now wants to murder harmony, invalidating Twilight's less destructive help, just because it'd go against what a woman said)), and is a sociopathic twatnugget.
Of course someone as delusional and supervilliany levels of evil would have an evil goat. Not just any evil goat though. But a necromancer /lich goat that steals souls to sustain itself. Cause what good is being immortal if you aren't destroying souls of the innocent for your own personal gains (Starswirl Logic)?
8589883
His hat has bells (as does his cape).
derpicdn.net/img/2012/7/22/52702/full.png
(Total Eclipse of the Fun. Twilight Sparkle's SS outfit.)
and
vignette.wikia.nocookie.net/mlp/images/7/76/Star_Swirl_the_Bearded_ID_S7E26.png/revision/latest/scale-to-width-down/200?cb=20171012212227
(Starswirl the Bearded's outfit. Look at all those bells, and Twilight's accuracy XD.).
If you meant the importance of the bells? Well he's as you said "he's a cartoonishly giant, self-absorbed beard with a jerk-ass hanging off of it." He needs to let everyone in hearing distance know he's around, and if needed pimp smack a mare. The metal hits harder than his hoof would.
8589886
Starswirl hasn't do enough to show that he is a sociopath. I mean sure he is EXTREMELY sexist. Yes he is a TOTAL ASSHOLE. Although what has he done that is actually EVIL before now? I mean he got paranoid that the Party Support was going after them, but yeah. I mean Star Swirl has even defeated REAL evil like the Sirens before. So Starswirl is bad, real bad, but he hasn't shown himself to be EVIL before now.
So to me it just strikes me as a HUGE leap to go from "Paranoid Narcissistic Sexist Douchebag" to "Has fond feelings of an EVIL GOAT MONSTER". I mean he talks about defending equestira, but Grogar tried to fuck it up. So it just seems TOO FAR.
8589942
He defeated the Sirens by dumping them on an unsuspecting universe. Who had no power, knowledge, or ability to fight nor resist them. And who knows how many other evils he sent to Earth? Or like the party support. Played an active role to them turning evil in the first place.
Then there was the fact that his sollution to dealing with the PoS that he created in the first place, was to send everyone into limbo. Without caring about the loves, families, friends of the other Pillars that would die while they were stuck there of the other Pillars. Treated the other Pillars like support for his ego and bravado. And is a walking ball of asshollery. Sure in S8, we might see a good side to him.
Then there's this fic. Which he has super villain status. I can give reasons for why he's a super villain in this fic if you'd like.
Ye gods do I want someone to smack Twilight 'till she stops being dumb and Starswirl until he stops being.
...oh great, Star Swirl's making things worse. Again.
Someone needs to do a test to see if Starswirl has a high enough initiative modifier to beat a sniper rifle bullet.
8589942
I'll cover it more next chapter, but this Grogar is gonna be a bit different from the Grogar we know... I mean, physically Grogar will look the same, but just because Star Swirl has a creepy goat made out of the nightmares of the recently dead causes a random heart to stop in the world everytime he bleats that resides in some sort of terrible realm of horror doesn't mean Star Swirl is EVIL.
But it could very well mean he's very, very oblivious.
8589892
Aren't bells some sort of traditional anti-spirit thing? Or was it spirit-calling?
8589892
But I mean, even in canon he has those bells.
What's the deal with the bells on his non-cartoonishly douchebaggy version?
8590134
...I admire your ability to somehow type that with a straight face.
8590179
Cause he has a massive ego and wants everyone to know he's around when he where ever he goes XD. I mean even in canon he was shown to have quite a bit of an ego (and a bit of an ass till the very end.). Or it could be he just likes bells and thinks they sound cool.
8590144
Technically they had a wide variety of uses. Including summoning demons, deities, spirits, as well as banishment. To harmonize a spell with a certain effect depending on the bell. As well as warding. At least traditionally in ancient religious / magical practices.
But that was just one bell, and needed to be clearly wrung (or a singular bell tied to a specific body part). Old Swirly there has bells on every inch of his hat, and all throughout the trail of his cape. Which is way more than what was used in spell work / functionality.
Sometimes the things you didn't know you wanted are the best. Though not so much when you don't actually have them. Seperate fic exploring their interactions please!
I....I just....a.....si......met..........
GIVE!!!!!
Another nice run of your usual mix of wordplay, cultural references, general sociopathy, injokes, callbacks, call forwards, and all around craziness. Hooray!
8589967
Didn't he know the place didn't have magic though, and thus rendering the sirens powerless? Again, they weren't a real threat until The Rainbow and the Rainbooms. They hadn't really gained much power to influence the others or do anything Evil, until Adagio sensed that there was Magic on Earth.
Well sure it's bad...maybe evil with a lower case, but I don't see anything that makes him Super Villain like Tirek or Chrysalis or Alicorn Amulet Trixie.
8590977
Actually that's wrong. He thought they'd be sent to a place without magic where they'd be powerless. But in the opening of Rainbow Rocks we see that they have their magic, can influence others to do what they want, and effect others whenever / whereever they want.
Slightly weaker true. But even before they ate the Rainbooms Negativity (And Equestrian Magic from that), they were able to effect an entire school, mind rape others, feed off of any group of people not the Rainbooms (at least not without setting it up that they fought without their singing starting it), and were in full control of their powers. So he (Star Swirl) did 0 research, had 0 care, never once looked into where he was using as Equestria's toilet and if it'd be safe for the population there, and gave less than 0 fks as long as it was no longer his problem.
(The movie states that he "Sent them to a place where he thought had no magic, and would remove their connection to their powers." Keyword "thought". Not once did it state that he had been there, knew anything about the place. It was basically "Hey, this looks about right ... probably ... possibly. And if they're there it's no longer my problem. Win-win.")
8591208
Mmmh. Well they didn't seem to be getting that fed though. They seemed more like nomads who would go around causing some problems, they never really seemed to have any serious plans to take anything over. When we first see them, there's ZERO evidence that they really did any serious long term damage. The only reason they stick around enough and become a TRUE threat is again...because of Twilight & Sunset bringing Magic to Earth.
Okay yeah he THOUGHT, but what options did he really have to deal with the threat at the level of Sirens? I mean this was a GLOBAL Level Threat. We're talking Discord, Tirek, Chrysalis. etc. It's not like they he had the Elements of Harmony or anything, so what exactly would he have done instead....? I mean the most powerful banishing magic seemed to require him and his friends to go to a Timeless Limbo. So what could he have done instead? That's not the work of someone Evil, not even evil.
I mean shit, in that case Governments are Evil for arming dangerous rebels and shit like, just so that they can combat their enemies from afar.
8591317
The obvious solution would be to destroy their crystals. Those were the source of the Sirens' power all along. Destroy the gems, and they lose their power. Rainbow Rocks made that point pretty clear. And if Starswirl really was as mighty a sorcerer as he claimed, then he would have known the importance of those gemstones. Presumably they could have come up with something to shatter those stones with that didn't involve nonexistent Elements. A sonic weapon comes to mind.
But what is the final nail in the coffin as far as I'm concerned, is how Starswirl was going to handle the PoS problem in the actual show. Rather than try to understand what makes the Elements so powerful, he just reasoned that they were very powerful magic crystals, which he could then use as a giant club to beat the PoS to death with. While this would probably destroy the crystals, what difference did it make? They were just magic crystals. No big loss.
That kind of casual indifference to consequences sounds typical of Starswirl, and I'm talking the actual show-canon version. After all, Celestia was the first to point out to Twilight during her ascension that Starswirl didn't understand friendship. To him, everything was either a giant club he could mash things with, or a threat he could stuff into a portal and be done with. That's not the resume of a wizard I want practicing magic in my kingdom, and that's again just the canon version. The version in this story is so bad I kind of want someone with alicorn power to show up, give the madness a sort of level "you're kidding, right?" expression, before firing a single bolt of energy that vaporizes the lunatic in the hat. Then he can go back to being safely dead again, and everyone else will be so much happier!
8591317
On my phone. And you can't put the Sirens on par with Discord (reality warper, invulnerable, neigh unlimited levels of magic, immune to 99.999% all things that exist.), or Tirek (Magic eater, neigh invulnerable, super strength; durability; endurance; on par with alicorns in terms of power).
One was sent to Tartarus, the other had the EoH (surpringingly very little to do with what the Pillars stood for) turn him to stone.
And nomadic yes. Full power maybe not. But you seriously need to rewatch the movie like I have (DWK totally legit recap, and the movie itself.). They had the same power prebanishment. Causing a diner to go postal, then with out a single sip of Equestrian Magic:
- Were able to brainwash people.
- Were able to get people to do what they wanted.
- Were able to do incite aggression and discorf easily.
The same MO for when banished. All they were doing in Equestria was go around. Spreading negativity. So they could eat. The whole divide and conquer thing never fit their MO. They like NMM wanted adoration, and power.
And unlike changlings, never imprisoned peeps, and were only 3. Not a whole race.
____
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As for banishment, SS he was like all the canon things he did was negligent, arrogant, and sucked at friendship / dealing with other ponies.
He was the Da Vinci of spells though. Yet never thought to do a binding spell, redirection / mirror spell, alter the very noticeable gems on their necks, look for the pony responsible for the gem enchantment (gem magic being older than he was), or even a petryfing nor reformation spell (2 spells so common one had a full meal for Discord, the other was a favorite of Celestia's and existed in nature.)
So he had tons of options. None of which he did. I mean he'll, the Sirens were less of a threat than Windigos, and all the things you mentioned.
As for Limbo. Again a problem SS created via his own arrogance / actions.
8591484
Adding your comment to my own. And is it sad that I can see this SS being something that he'd do / be?
Twilight has passed the point of maximum suspended disbelief. To be honest, I was kinda put out by the second chapter, and things certainly aren't going any better. Plus, the whole scene where she tells Discord no, just... Well, it just killed off what little enjoyment I had left in the story. I finished the chapter, and I'll read the next one, but man, if it keeps going like this, I'm quitting.
There is a point where the abuse stops being Looney Tunes funny, and we've gone flying right by it.
On rethink, Starswirl’s solution for the Sirens was to banish them and not think of them again.
It makes me remember Wrath of Khan with how Kirk banished Khan to another planet and apparently never checked up on him.
8591797
I'd have to agree in the sense that we're at the point where Twilight should be able to break past her hero-worship and realize that this stuck up pig, regardless of how she may feel about him personally, is destroying everything Celestia, Luna and Twilight have been building for the last thousand years. All to feed his own ego. Also, there has to be a point where her own ego asserts itself.
As for how this might happen, hopefully it'll be when Twilight realizes this lunatic is "friends" with a major eldritch horror, and is completely oblivious to the risks involved. That really flies totally in the face of what friendship really means, and should shock the pony princess of friendship like nothing else could. Really, the moment she lays eyes on the travesty that Starswirl calls "friendship," she should snap out of her fugue.
Of course, as often happens, the pendulum in such cases will tend to swing entirely the other way over, so we might wind up with hyper-competent, laser-focused Midnight Sparkle for our troubles. But at least it'll be epic. And Sunset will have to talk her down like the other one. Assuming she isn't helping, of course.
I got that reference. Starlight, you're in Ponyville, not Sandford.
So pony needs to do the right thing...l.and rip star swirls beard clean off his ugly arrogant self entitled face wipe there flank with it and shove it down his throat
Old Grogar Goat
Was Feeling Fine
Ate a hat with Bells
Right off the Line
Wow, Just wow. Rarity I can see had an amazing time.
8592304
To be fair, so is Fluttershy. Just with less obliviousness.
What Twilight needs a smackdown on is her choosing her idol's approval over a friend. Yes, Twilight and Discord may not have a friendship as close and he and Fluttershy do, but they are friends nonetheless. And she told him to go because her idol glared 'no.' That's a major failure of friendship there.
8592003
Well, superficial similarities aside, that movie had plot holes you could fly the Enterprise through. Don't get me wrong, though. It's still the best of the Trek movies, in my opinion. But to think that neither Sulu or Spock ever happened to notice the star system they were flying into was missing a planet???
This is basic astrogation. Even if everyone else had no particular reason to notice, the science officer and pilot both had good reasons to tap the captain on the shoulder and say, "Ah... Captain Kirk? There's something I think you might want to know about..."
8589333
I wish I could cut half of this out just to answer one part, but I digress.
8608065
Is he from the 80s/90s?
8608132
Show came out in 89 and ended in 91. Rather different from the movie, but it was a very good cartoon. There are a few episodes up on YouTube if you want to check them out.
8598210
Star Trek having plot holes? Heresy, I say!
I think this counts as a sequel to Home Again, Home Again, Jiggety-jig
8615355
Kinda! It does take place afterward. I'm just not DONE with that so it felt silly to tag it specifically as such.
8619580
As long as you do later I'm ok with it.