• Member Since 3rd Dec, 2011
  • offline last seen Jun 20th, 2016

DaimoMac


E

Early one morning, Fluttershy finds an abandoned foal on her doorstep. Not wanting the young child to be abandoned, she takes the foal into her own custody.

Chapters (2)
Comments ( 67 )

Incredible. It just needs a slight proofread.

iiiiiiinteresting. i shall be watching, and waiting for the next chapter, good sir or madam!(i'm too lazy to check the author):rainbowwild::rainbowkiss:

Quite good, quite good. *smokes pipe* :moustache:

When I read this story I died ..........from dwwwaaaaaaa:rainbowkiss::rainbowkiss:

Hmm, hard to judge from first chapters sometimes, but this story looks to have promise. :moustache: I shall keep an eye open for updates.

PS I am a sucker for Happy Fluttershy stories, and I look forward to seeing if you earn that comedy tag.

I always love a light-hearted fluttershy story on a rainy day :twilightsmile:

So awshum! :rainbowkiss:

could use some proof-reading though :trollestia:

HNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNG!

not sure whether to d'aww or die from cuteness
either way i'm tracking

This story looks promising, Definitely adding to my tracking list :D
:twilightsmile:

Sir Beaksley will be what I refer Fluttershy's rooster to by from now on. This story's startin good - normally the whole " Baby on my doorstep? I must adopt it!" attitude is a little werid, but not for Fluttershy! She'd have to keep it, wouldn't she?

I can track and die of overbaw or I can miss this... meh, at least I'll die happy

MOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAR!

Ima be watching this with great interest.:raritystarry:

A light-hearted touching story. Just what I needed. :twilightsmile:

This does seem like a great idea to explore in a story. As I have always thought that Fluttershy can fit the motherly type of Pony.

Please do keep up the good work upon such a great idea like this one.:yay:

NO! MY HEART! HHHNNNNNNNGGGGGGGGGGOHGOD! *ded*
Heavy weapons colt: Medic! Doctor!
Medic pony: Yah!? I must prepare for another procedure!
*alive*
Thanks! Now what was I saying? Oh yeah! The herd approves of this fic, you shall live for now yadda yadda. I need to go quickly! I'm a sucker for good stories with Fluttershy, she is my favorite pony.

And now, I sign off!
Godspeed you magnificent bastard-BlazingShadowBrony

And then Rainbow Dash is, apparently, a lesbian.
Again.
:rainbowhuh:

*ded* OoO amazing!!! SOOOOOO cute
I will be keeping tabs on this :yay:

Clover? Any relation to Yotsuba?

Brilliant. I look forward for the next chapter :pinkiehappy:

Very cute, good work so far. You're right about needing pre-readers, its a little lumpy in places and dose kind of jar you out of the experiance. I'll be intersted to see where this goes.

Thanks for the warm comments guys. I plan on getting a couple of pre readers to go over the other chapters.

It is sweet story, i really like the descriptions you give and Fluttershy as a mother figure is always gold.
But i have to say that i feel like the story is going 100 miles per hour : Flutter finds foal, feeds foal, presents foal to friend + decides to adopt foal, brings foal to hospital and names said foal. All in less than 2000 words.
Feels like she found a stray cat.
But this was the prologue, so tracking.

CL

I'm going to be honest. It moved to quickly, lacked detail, and I'm kind of getting tired of this generic type of story of "Fluttershy mother figure". Stories like this take light from others. I'm givin' it a 3.

54380 Focus on this, it was a time-lapse throughout the day, so Fluttershy might have had doubts, then reassured herself, then could have had a mental war, and beings as we missed out on the conversation between Rarity and Fluttershy, Rarity might have said something to un intentionally make Flutershy make up her mind. Also I'm wondering how the author is going to highlight the good and bad things Fluttershy has to deal with. Getting the very finding and naming of the foal out in the prologue leaves room for the stuff we all really came to see. So shush! :twilightangry2: Just kidding! Help ze author vith your criticisms. Celestia knows I'm not getting a lot of it, I'll help my fellow authors get the proper help. *sniff* Shut up! I'm not crying! I'm pouting! :fluttershysad:

:raritycry::raritycry::raritycry::raritycry::raritycry:im sad very sad in the good way ill be watching:pinkiehappy::pinkiehappy::pinkiehappy::pinkiehappy::pinkiehappy:

54444 I agree with BlazingShadowBrony, I loved the story, I think it could just use a little more detail. Grammatically I didn't find any errors. Otherwise I really like it, I'm a sucker for cute little fillys and stories involving them. I think Fluttershy will be a great mother, but I can't wait to see what you have planned.:pinkiehappy:

54444
So this was supposed to be a time-lapse ? Or are you telling me to pretend that it was one ?
Anyway i have to disagree about the part were you said that getting the story of how the foal came to be quickly out of the way is a good thing.
In a sentimental story setting the stage is essential, it's an important step ! The storys that follow, or slices of life if you will, are directly dependent on the set up !
But i agree : i do need to shush :pinkiesad2:

56071 No, I agree with you on this. It moved WAY too quickly. The way Fluttershy reacted, you'd think foals are abandoned on doorsteps all the time. "Oh, there's a foal. Well, time to adopt it." What? There was no Fluttershy becoming anxious about a newborn suddenly appearing out of nowhere, not even a mention of her wondering who the mother could have been. This just seemed rushed. Also, there's a line in there when Fluttershy is talking to Nurse Redheart, she says "Yeah." Maybe this is really nitpicky, but it just seemed like that was closer to something she would have said while Discorded, while her normal form I'd think she's always said 'Yes.' Usually preceded with, "Oh, my."

56071 Well, it is how I rationalize the fact she decides so quickly in the fic. Why else would she decide so quickly? :raritywink:

And now, random Spike!:moustache:

dawww, clover is an adorable name:twilightsheepish:

I am still working on chapter 2. SHould be done by the end of the weekend

Fluttershy turned to Angfel and said. “Quickly go get some milk out. This poor darling is hungry.”

Angfel? Who's Angfel? :twilightoops: Did you mean: Angel?

The two most cute things in the world, babies and ponies - combined! A little baby foal <3
And Fluttershy as the mother... I love seeing her in a mother role soooo much!
I really want to read the next part as soon as possible, but it's more important that you take your time and make it the best it can be, regardless of what deadline you set for yourself :>

"I am still working on chapter 2. SHould be done by the end of the weekend."
Posted 4 weeks, 8 hours ago

AUTHOR
ლ(ಠ益ಠლ)
Y U NO UPDATE?! :flutterrage::fluttershysad::flutterrage:

Holy crap! This updated! :derpyderp1:
That being said, I like the idea of Angel having his own version of "The Stare." That's how I see it anyway.

Sorry for the wait guys. Computer issues + Christmas = lack of time

Can you please be quicker with the updates please?

BY THE HAMMER OF THOR!!!!
:rainbowkiss:
Didn't expect this to be updated

129731 The D'aaaawww has been doubled!

There is much in the way of errors, but that can be forgiven.

Well, hopefully now that the holidays are out of the way you will have a little more time. :pinkiehappy:

as the saying goes, d'aaawwww. i actually didn't notice any errors in any way so in my book this is border line perfect. good job.:pinkiehappy:

AWWWWWW, that was cute insight on Ditzy's way of Motherhoood. Maybe Fluttershy could learn a thing or two from her and gain assistance from some of her friends, if they could. :derpytongue2:

Surely Rarity, Twilight and Applejack could help her out, with Twilight's knowledge, Rarity's sense of Fashion and Applejack's way of responsibility and food. It would be easier for Fluttershy to take care of little Clover. :raritywink:

Please do keep up the good work upon such a great storyline like this one. :yay:

the insight on how Ditzy raises her child was good, but I thought there wasn't enough focus on Fluttershy and the new situation with her foal. She could have reflected some more about why its mother could have abandoned it, how her life will change especially when it grows older, how others will see Fluttershy then, how her friends will react... such things. And Ditzy could have talked with her a bit more about the foal, and maybe given her some practical advice.
But maybe your leaving out some reflection on purpose, to portrait Fluttershys naivety, and I'll get to read about these things in later chapters :3
Anyways, the story is still very cute, especially Dinky :twilightsmile:

Angel seems to be immune to Fluttershy's Stare, maybe that's cause he learned his own version.

Awesome story, can't wait for more!!

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