• Member Since 6th Oct, 2016
  • offline last seen Sep 10th, 2023

Mackstack


Horse words are the best words.

Comments ( 33 )

Eh, I was hoping you'd make a fic when I saw this image!

i want to see the after math of her and her brother have sex in bed bed hehehe:pinkiehappy:

yep this defiantly needs to be expanded to several chapters.

So Soarin was the one with the smaller Wang? :rainbowlaugh:

Nothing is both so hilarious and sexy as accidental incest.

8429024
Yes, it should be expanded to several dozen chapters.

Because. That's why.

Anal to vaginal without cleaning it off first....eeeeeeew, the infections...

8429702
Exactly...never go back to front!

So, did Soarin see who was coming up next and not warn them, ooorr, what?
Nevermind. I thought about it more. The other mare might have complained long enough that Soarin was long gone before Zephyr even went into the restroom.

8429252
Twilight loves him for who he is....!
(and bangs her own brother to make up for it)
BUT SHE DOES LOVE HIM :P

8427997
After a shocking, yet heartfelt confession from Fluttershy, Zephyr's only response is:

"Well... I can't get you pregnant again so..."

i0.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/facebook/000/413/624/8eb.jpg

Sick down vote.

8430860
You know, you don't have to say you're gonna downvote it right?

8431018
No fun in just down votes one must say it to own it!

8431158
That...actually makes sense.

The story wasn't too bad, actually. I felt the plot and story could've been a little more drawn out. I mean, a scene after her first encounter where she did something simple, such as a hoofjob for Soarin or even just touching it before darting out of the room seems to fit her character more in my opinion before going to the third trip, which would've involved sex. Plus, the anal scene seemed a tad out of place, and while this is simple erotica, I felt it hurt the story. Still, you did seem to do a good job with Fluttershy's characteristics, especially the first scene about her panicking and clumsily running away. I also liked the language and interactions with the characters, adding in humor with the mother along with how the yellow mare hid the gag. It was clever, and surprisingly helped make the story more immersive.

The only grammatical mistake I encountered was: "Fluttershy’s mothers voice ..." Which should be 'mother's voice'. Not a big deal, but I just thought it should be mentioned.

Overall, a relative good story with only some issues I had that many could most likely overlook.
Plot - 7.6
Story - 7.2
Smut - 8.8

Total - 23.8/30

I see our resident drive-by down-voter has visited the comment section.
Thereby giving the story more viewer traffic and actually making it more popular.
So... you know... good job with that.
i0.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/001/047/210/7de.gif

8431770
i see hes passed threw kind of like the morning after the night of a bunch of cheep beer.

It seems a little out of character for her to not give a fuck that it was her brother and to not even attempt to wipe/ rinse off the cum given that she was in a toilet but I'll give that a pass haha

Could use some work (mainly with better pacing) but do please absolutely continue this! :twilightsmile:

"Hey, Zephyr~ Did you enjoy your glory hole experience yesterday?"

"Wait, what? Sis, wh-who told you I did... 'you-know-what'?"

"Nopony."

"Then how do you know?! There was just me and... and uh...." Zephyr's eyes slowly widen.

8431234
I never really down vote

8435319
When I Do downvote, I usually say why I am downvoteing.

8432844 And now we're talking about it!
Even more view traffic! Huzzah!

8436768
must keep traffic flowing.:pinkiehappy:

8436811
the worm is the spice the spice is the worm.

i have the directors cut of Dune and i still watch it now and a gene.

8430083
I know this is off-topic, but your profile picture just made my day.

i know what I'm getting for wallpaper now!

Any sligjt chance of a follow-up fic, where shy and zeph have to deal with her being pregnant with their foal?

Need a sequel with flutershy pregnant and the 2 dealing with them

Damn, Fluttershy. Just damn. xDD

Most excellent.

Apart from the anal to vagina sex (a huge no no) this is hot stuff.

Would you be willing to make a sequel to this? Not enough Fluttercest stories get this vivid in details, so a follow-up would delight me.

Login or register to comment