• Member Since 20th Oct, 2015
  • offline last seen 1 hour ago

Captain_Hairball


A Warning to Others

Comments ( 31 )

Nice. I wish you were bit more descriptive with how stuff looked and felt, but otherwise it's perfect. Great job, 10/10 will clop again.

8821474

I do tend to be rather terse. I'm working on it! :twilightsmile: Brevity is great, but sometimes one wants more. Especially in porn. :duck:

Thanks tho!

“This is wrong, Twilight,” said Shining.
Twilight stroked his cheek with her wingtip. “You say that every time. It’s so cute.”

“Mac, try to get that thing broken so I don’t have to give up my fucktoy, okay big guy?”

“It’s down to one thread!” said Twilight, stroking his ass. “You can do it!”

Unnff need me a girl like Twi to sassily lovingly dom me.

8821474 Yeah, kind of just gotta second this. Still awesome and sexy though.

This is an amazing premise for a story though very unlikely. I like it.

Is this anthro or feral? Half the descriptions seem like anthro and half like feral

Nice story! Hey, can you tell me what artist did that beautiful cover art?

8821881

I Draw Stuff? mlpanonart dot tumblr dot com. I had it linked, but someone pointed out that you can see her naughty bits in uncropped the original. :pinkiegasp:

8821707

Pretty much completely unrealistic in ever possible way, yes. :raritywink:

8821489
Brevity is great, and rather hard to pull off. Having just enough description is always better than having too much of it. You are doing pretty good job with it.

8822778

Thank you for that incisive and intelligent feedback. :rainbowlaugh:

8822769

Thank you!

I take everything I write (even very silly porn) quite seriously. :raritywink:

8823063
:rainbowlaugh:
Inn glad you took it with humor.
Few do!
The story was just crazy! Impossible. Illogical... Silly! 😄:rainbowwild:

Hey do you know who did the coverart?

8823187

mlpanonart dot tumblr dot com

It's not 100% sfw so I took the link off.

Old favorite of mine. :heart:

8823144

The story was just crazy! Impossible. Illogical... Silly!

Authorial intent. :trixieshiftright:

Hey, this was good. Would've been even better if Shinning and Big Mac had made out a little bit. Like when Mac was blowing his top while they were going at Flutters from both ends. A little bit of Shinning/Mac spit swapping during that bit would've been the cherry on top of the sundae.

8824961

You are correct. Seriously what was I thinking?

I have written several ShinyMacs, tough. You know. A Night in Shining Armor, The Emperor's Concubine, and Bi Dad's Club.

Why do people use the word "Ponut"? It's awful and such a turnoff.

8828866

Its such a lovely piece of anatomy, though. :raritystarry:

I write what I like to read. It may not be what you like to read. And that's okay!

“Larger than the strap-on, but smaller than the Ass Assassin!” said Twilight. “And nopony ask how we have such detailed data on our brothers’ penis sizes. It’s just a thing we happen to know!”

*lowers hand again*

She sucked so hard it made his cock hurt, and every time she swallowed, her throat closed around him, milking his shaft like some machine out of Applejack’s dairy barn.

Wonder where he knows how said machine feels...

“Drink up,” said Twilight. “Then fluff yourself up with some good, old-fashioned sister pussy.”

I like how you think.

“Rarity made it for her. I don’t always get that mare, but when she makes something, she makes it to last,” said Applejack.
“Maybe a good idea not to tell Rarity what we used it for," said Shining.

I think she would either be horrified or proud.

“But we've got brothers,” said Applejack. “Brothers who are hung like a couple of country metaphors.”

for this, and for using the word "athwart", you shall have my fave

8835676

For noticing the two things in this story I felt most clever for including, you have my eternal gratitude. :twilightsmile:

Fun fact: The line in the first draft was "hung like a couple of [country metaphors]." I often do stuff like this if I'm hung up on something (like Applejack's dialect) that threatens to break my flow. In the second draft, I decided just taking the brackets off was funnier than anything else I was likely to think of.

The more you know!

This is so over the top and silly, yet still remains arousing in a way.

I'm impressed

8821474
Anything that can be criticized is not a 10/10. What would you rate it if it improved?

8877778
I Really see nothing that could be easily improved, that is not nitpicky preference that depends on subjective tastes.

Only thing that would make this better would be more of it, and more story would still be 10/10.

Its like eating Ice cream or cookies. Sure you might enjoy extra chocolate, or rum on them, but if they are really good, and you eat them (/read them).

Also 11/10 is a thing.

bootylicious

Ha... New word

9234885

New as in Shakespeare never used it1. Old enough to be a in joke on Urban Dictionary.

Don't let people start saying I made it up plz. :fluttershysad:

1 That I know of.

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