• Published 1st May 2017
  • 1,657 Views, 91 Comments

Holding You Like When You Were Younger - TheEvilCookie

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Holding Her Sister

After dinner one night Rarity attempted to do the dinner dishes, but found herself distracted as she thought of her little sister sitting in her bedroom drawing.

While Sweetie Belle was drawing Rarity slowly walked to the door frame and stood there watching Sweetie Belle for a bit with a loving expression as she something on her mind. Sweetie Belle stopped what she was doing and saw Rarity. Sweetie Belle spoke.

"What do you need sis? Do you need my help with some work, or do you want me to deliver something?" Sweetie Belle asked her sister happily. Rarity thought about her response and spoke.

"No Sweetie Belle you don't need to help me with anything if you don't want to and I'm not going to force you to help me with anything anyway. I wasn't even going to ask you to help me with anything but I do want to do something with you." Rarity told Sweetie Belle. Sweetie Belle looked at her with a smile on her face. Sweetie Belle wanted to know why Rarity needed her.

"So then what would that be sis!?" Sweetie Belle asked while she smiled. Rarity smiled back hoping that Sweetie Belle wouldn't mind what she was going to ask.

"Can I hold you Sweetie Belle, like how I used to hold you when you were a little girl?" Rarity asked her sister. Sweetie Belle was surprised by this but not weirded out or annoyed.

"Rarity I don't mean to say this but I'm a teenager....I'm not against being held but aren't I a little bit to old to be held? I don't want people to see and make fun of me." Sweetie Belle said. Rarity shook her head no.

"Of coarse not. Some people might find it childish in Equestria but others don't, I just want to hold you for a while, nobody is going to see you and if they make fun of you I'll tell them not to." Rarity said. Sweetie Belle thought it over and shrugged.

"Alright sis I won't mind go ahead! You can hold me like how I was when I was little." Sweetie Belle said giggling. Rarity smiled and sat on the recliner. She put the recliner back and outstretched her arms. Sweetie Belle and Rarity knew that they were going to be their for awhile so they pulled their socks off revealing their bare feet and then Sweetie Belle laid still in Rarity's arms and Rarity threw a blanket over them and wrapped Sweetie Belle in her embrace.

Sweetie Belle thought about how it felt. It did feel nice and comfy for Sweetie Belle. Sweetie Belle decided that she didn't mind it. She kind of liked it in fact but it still put her off at how Rarity still liked to hold her even if Sweetie Belle was older now. Sweetie Belle relaxed in the comforting embrace.

Sweetie Belle relaxed her muscles as she thought about the hug. She did have a long day so this was good for relieving her stress after a day of school.

"Do you like it?" Rarity asked her sister. Sweetie Belle nodded at Rarity silently while smiling as she did like it. Rarity was glad that Sweetie Belle liked the hug. She kissed Sweetie Belle's cheek and just continued to hold her gently. Rarity listened to Sweetie Belle's calmed breathing.

Sweetie Belle felt like she could fall asleep in Rarity's arms which Rarity wouldn't mind if she did fall asleep in her arms. Rarity watched her sister lay still in her arms as the only moment she made was her chest was moving while she breathed. Her heart beat calmly.

Sweetie Belle had a smile on her face as Rarity pet her hair as she held Sweetie Belle on the recliner. Sweetie Belle stretched her toes absentmindedly as she rested in Rarity's arms. Sweetie Belle knew that she could be doing something in her room or hang out with her friends outside but she liked this a lot more.

She wasn't expecting Rarity wanting to hold her like this while she was in her home but she was glad that she was being held as it calmed her. Sweetie Belle snuggled with Rarity in silence. They were both enjoying it. Sweetie Belle wanted it to continue and it did but it couldn't go on all day as Rarity had other activities they could do.

Sweetie Belle was so happy Rarity was holding her gently. She didn't find it weird anymore but she wasn't going to tell her friends that her sister was hugging her like she was four years old all over again. She didn't care but others might poke fun at her.

"Your not going to tell your friends about this right? And don't gush over it to your friends either." Sweetie Belle asked. Rarity shook her head at Sweetie Belle's unfound worries as she would never do that to embarrass Sweetie Belle. She responded.

"Of coarse not sweetie, I would never do that to you, I would never embarrass you!" Rarity exclaimed. Sweetie Belle knew that Rarity was telling the truth so she stopped worrying about something that wasn't going to happen.

Rarity and Sweetie Belle hugged for a few more minutes and then stopped hugging and Sweetie Belle and Rarity brought the recliner back to the sitting position.

"Thanks Rarity I enjoyed it a lot, It doesn't matter how old I am. Can we do it again?" Sweetie Belle said as she blushed at what she was requesting. Rarity smiled as she was glad that Sweetie Belle enjoyed it even if she was older.

"Your welcome Sweetie Belle. Of coarse we can do it again! No of coarse it doesn't matter." Rarity said. Sweetie Belle smiled happily.

"I love you sister." Sweetie Belle said to Rarity, Rarity smiled back.

"I love you to little sister." Rarity said lovingly. Rarity sat up and she and Sweetie Belle read a story together and drew together as well as they continued to hang out together.

Comments ( 88 )

Nice fluff story :twilightsmile:

He's back!
:trollestia:

8133454 Thanks! I'm glad you liked it!

All right, it wasn't bad, but it could have definitely used a lot more development. Under other circumstances, I would like the blunt approach, as it is reminiscent of Hemingway, but unlike Hemingway, this bluntness is dull and weak. The impact of short sentences is lost through just how boring the prose is.

The opening, for example, suffers from just being so typical. Did you forget how to use pronouns, or how to construct a hook? I understand for these kinds of stories it's nigh-impossible to create an interesting hook, but still, it would have been nice to see some semblance of an actual opener.

You get points for fluff, but still, this was really short, and really underdeveloped. It's marginally better than your other stories since it's actually readable, but that doesn't excuse that it still suffers from all the same mistakes, namely a lack of concrete forethought.

8133478 It does lack a lot of substance yes. At least it's something :applecry:

8133485 You've got a minimum of three-months worth of comments that have given repeated suggestions and advice. Kindly use them, yeah?

This was cute.
~Melly~

This could have been worse.

8133521
You're welcome! :P
~Melly~

Everyone needs a hug!

Pretty decent improvement over the previous stories, if you ask me. It's much more readable.

When Rarity tells Sweetie Belle she wants to hold her it surprises Sweetie Belle but Rarity holds her and Sweetie Belle turns out to like it like how she liked being held when she was little

The end? A little short, about what 36 words, but it's a sweet story. Oh wait...I'm supposed to click the chapter. Gotcha.

*After reading said chapter*
That was really sweet. It's a lot better than most of your stories. You just need to focus on flow better. Instead of

Sweetie Belle was in her room drawing. Rarity had just feed Sweetie Belle dinner and now Rarity was thinking over something.

Try

Rarity attempted to do the dinner dishes, but found herself distracted as she thought of her little sister sitting in her bedroom drawing.

Last thing, because you have now proved that you can improve. I give you a gift. Please use as needed.
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Anyways. Please take a like :twilightsmile:

If you change the human tag to Equestria Girls tag, I think this would make more sense to me than saying they're humans in Equestria.

Congratulations, you made a story I could actually read to completion, for whatever that's worth. :unsuresweetie:

8133657 I'm glad you enjoyed it :) Sorry about he commas

8133658 I hoped you liked it!

8133662

I didn't hate it, if that's what you're asking..

Anyways, as part of the internal rule I've set for myself, I must give you a like if you can manage to keep me reading the whole way through. So, I gave you a like.

If I don't make it through, then you'll see what sentence I stopped reading at in my comments; this time, there was none.

8133676 Thanks so much! I'm glad you read it through and enjoyed it!

My God... an Evictus story with a positive like/dislike ratio! What are the odds?

Seriously though, good improvement over your past... works.

8133686 I'm so happy it did well!

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