I am a huge gamer but I love to socialize with a love for sketching and an ambition for writing.
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I died in a car crash, and thought that was the end of me. But insted I just woke up in a forest, being stared down by a gecho with three heads. I ran screaming, my pride dribbling down my leg. From there, my death became the best thing to ever happon to me. And the worst as well.
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It's good so far, but there are many spelling errors, and a bit of wrong/missing punctuation. A few examples:
care
It should be "a bit" unless you're trying to go for an accent.
And one thing I kept seeing is "tuff" instead of "tough". It has potential though, keep working on it.
8069445
Thanks, I'll fix them.
Get an editor.
I'm not saying that to be mean.
Writing is complicated, there are so many levels to it that
it's easy to screw up. Unless you've written a lot, I mean like fifty or
more stories, you just won't have a clue.
Even the pros who write bestsellers don't just write the story and it goes right into a book. They hire or get from their publishers prereaders/editors and other folks to give them feedback before publishing the book.
You want feedback on your story?
Get an editor and you will get that.
Don't rely on readers to give you feedback because that might be rare.
Unless your reader is a writer, then you might get good advice.
The stories in my account with the best up/downvote ratios were usually ones that were edited.
The stories with the bad ratios didn't get edited.
Yeah, getting your stuff edited will be painful.
You should see the stuff I get beat up on, but to me it's worth it because I will have a better story.
If you need help finding groups that do editing, I can help you or you can look at the groups I joined.
Some of them do proofing/editing.
8069501
Thanks. I'll do that.