That was some nice insight.

So now I'm all done.

Anyways, when it comes to the series as a whole, I think pretty much everyone will universally agree that the first story was the best. There's a lot of reasons for this. I would say you also got a lot of interest in that first story due to that incredible cover art. Silverspeak undergoes his most formative years in that story. The story is fairly tightly written, being restricted to mostly two locations (Saddle Lanka and Manehatten), and it floats on its own cast of entirely OCs until Luna at the end. Silverspeak is also definitely very much not a good-guy protagonist in the story. He has his ambition of being able to use magic and in turn becoming an alicorn, which for those of us who watch the show and see Earth ponies as being gypped, can very much sympathise. His slow descent into a villain protagonist is all the more powerful for it. Once the sequels come around and he loses that motivation, he stops being as interesting, especially since Silverspeak becomes reactive instead of proactive in turn.

Nightfall in turn is...alright, I guess? It looses the tight narrative of the first story, and there were really a lot of baffling choices made to move the story along. Sunfall I say turned out a lot better, but I can pretty much crystallise why people may like it even less than Sunfall: it pretty much makes all of Silverspeak's previous heroic actions irrelevant as evil won the day anyways and turned the planet into a post-apocalyptic wasteland for several decades that was only undone by magical MacGuffin. Also, I'm still annoyed it wasn't revealed in-story how Silverspeak broke free of his brainwashing. I always assumed it was because his tumour grew to such an extent it broke the brainwashing. A second theory (a far second) was Mangus undoing the brainwashing so Silverspeak could see what he was responsible for in his last days.

I think at least at the end of Moonfall and in the start and end of Sunfall, more could have been done to bring about Silverspeak now being an alicorn full circle. I don't think he uses magic at all after the pivotal moment in Sunfall for his last 30 years, and while he talks about it briefly to his granddaughter, that was it. It is indeed a bit ironic that he thirsted to use magic when he was younger, when he got it, he basically stopped using it by the looks of it for 3 decades.

Some stories I comment on every chapter I go through, such as this one (but not the first two stories. I don't think I left any comments on the first, for that matter). When I do comment as I go through, I throw out a lot of my plot theories as well as the reasoning behind them, which is how I guessed a bit early that Mangus was still alive — since his body was never found in Nightfall. So Mangus and Silverspeak square off for three consecutive stories, and only in Nightfall is he not the main villain. It's a fairly common trope of 'the prodigal son vs. the underdog', with this one being more extensive than most stories since it lasts through the entire series. I'm surprised basically no character in the entire series seems to comment on this duality besides Silverspeak and Mangus themselves. I mean, I suppose I'd be a little annoyed if it was brushed off to 'their destinies', but it still was a very long-lasting antagonistic relationship.

One last little note...Beakbreaker being a zebra really didn't seem to have any payoff, besides her and Silverspeak going out of country to find her parents in Nightfall (and failing to make it in time). In a way, that's really a good thing that there wasn't any payoff. MLP has a fairly rich variety of species, and when it comes to OCs, few people seem to care to use any of the species besides maybe changelings.

Anyways, so long, and thanks for all the fish.

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Thanks for your comments, Emperor. As I said in this outline, I agree that the first story is the best, mainly for the reasons you describe. The more I think about it, the more I think that the two sequels probably shouldn't have been written, but hey, live and learn, and apply those lessons to future stories (though I could have sworn I revealed how Silverspeak broke free of his brainwashing; if not, I'll fix that when preparing the book for publishing).

Regarding Silverspeak's lack of magic, most of it is because of Celestia's spell of containment, and Silverspeak not wanting to risk breaching it, but I prefer to think that he learned that he doesn't need magic (or wings) to be happy and joyful; using his silver tongue to help others does that (if you take a look at the picture in the last chapter, he has neither a horn or wings). And with regards to Beakbreaker, I made her a zebra because I thought having Silverspeak get into a relationship with another pony would be fairly boring. I didn't make a big deal out of it because I figured that at this point in Equestria's history, inter-species relationships are so common that nobody sees anything wrong with them.

In any case, thank you for all your comments and observations; they were enlightening to read, and I'm glad you still enjoyed the series, despite their uneven quality.

After reading through this mount, I can kindda respect you for the choices you made for the story. Personally, i prefered the original Monster Below (most of it, expecially when Sivlerspeak drugs everyone and rushes to take the horn) and Nightfall (War against the Arch Dragons I guess?) but its propably the opinion that the ammount of mecha inserted into the story made it feel a tad bit too anime.

But overall I liked the conclusions. Having so many deaths to raise the stakes felt too obvious of a plot device at times but really its hard for me to provide feedback that was other than "I would do it more subtile".

Three a threequel?!
On it

Man, I remember reading the first story years ago. The last chapter was both tearjerking and heartwarming.

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Yeah... hard to believe it was six years ago! Where did the time go?

Finally had the time to finish up reading this, and wow. What a ride. As much as you say that one should learn to not stretch out a story too long, and how true that statement is... I'm glad we got as much as we did, while also not getting it stretched out even further. Where things might felt a bit far out as they went on in the sequels, the great characters have always been so very enjoyable with every extra bit we got with them.

The first was indeed great, but I'll admit I'm also more partial towards Nightfall. Sunfall here was... my least favourite, though I agree looking at your notes here you indeed went with the best version for it ( "Silverspeak 2.0" got cancelled again, the poor dear XD ). To me Nightfall feels like the best fusion of the two, getting that extra sci-fi push that I love, where Sunfall went a bit far ahead with the timeskips, post apocalyptic future and everything. Along with Nightfall's delicious paranoia through the story provided by having the changelings introduced from the start, to leave the reader to wonder how they'll come into play later and question what characters we can trust as we read on.

That doesn't mean Sunfall was a bad story on its own though. And the final chapter and epilogue had me in tears as they finally found peace, in just the right bittersweet way. Most such endings play up on the peace finally found, but I like the bitter aftertaste of being reminded that our two mane characters are not just finding peace... but leaving behind loved ones to mourn them. Glad to see that focused on too.

For nitpicking, if I may, for this story, ahem...

it was a bit much with the timeskips and left me asking questions I didn't really feel we got answers to. Like Silverspeak's last memory being a gun fired in his face, yet no scars or wounds to reveal what kind of shot it was. It was only hinted that it was a mindcontrol spell that had him a puppet for those decades, but never who actually cast it on him or why he woke up in that goo. Though I like to assume it was more like a storage situation, when he wasn't used for public appearance. As I'm sure such a spell would take energy and effort to keep going infinitely, easier to only use it when needed and then just put him aside when not in need to avoid too much lasting side effects from such long exposure to that kind of spellwork. Was the spellcaster Blood Fang aka Magnus every time, or whatever good enough unicorn at hoof at the time? Never felt that got answered. Though might just be me focusing too much on such a detail, the concept itself was still interesting, to have Silverspeak more sins on him even if he was not consenting to those acts.

We were equally never fully told what things Beakbreaker might been forced to do in her time of captivity, as it was mentioned plenty of times that her usefulness was what kept her alive all that time. For all Iron Hoof's talk of "Ponies Only", do zebras count as "equine enough" to avoid the genocide? Or was she truly only spared for her usefulness and connection to Silverspeak?
Was she equally kept from Silverspeak during that time before he awoke? The promise of letting her meet him face to face kept as a tool to keep her obeying? I can imagine it could have gone in many ways if she had been given the option to meet Silverspeak while he was under the spellwork to keep him working for Iron Hoof's cause. Of course that part would be hard to tell, as these stories are only from Silverspeak's POV and those would be scenes he would have no memories of. Just a thought stuck in my head as it doesn't feel explored in the story.

I will say though, I adore your work on the villain. Iron Hoof was fantastic. Intense and devoted to his cause, thinking so many steps ahead. Oh yes, he was a guy easy to hate for his evil, but his conviction worked well to explain him feeling he was really doing the right thing and his turnaround at the end felt believable as well. Your first draft for the General indeed doesn't feel like how Iron Hoof did in the story, so those changes worked well.

My last nitpick will be... with all the focus on the theme of genocide and destruction of anything not pony/equine.. I felt we missed a lot about how it truly went for the other creatures of Equs. With all of Iron Hoof's efforts, one must assume at least some species would successfully be wiped out, and with Magnus' hints at what he might been doing with the specimens sent his way, well... hearing so little about their fate after the climax, with focus on the restoration of the ponies, I feel they story-teller wise got the short end of the stick too. Dunno, just don't feel satisfied on that part, too vague. What species survived, other than the few we know survived in the resistance? What nations still stood at the end of the war? Which had been truly wiped out? How did relations get repaired with ponies, after the effort to try and wipe them all out by pony hooves?

All that said, that's just me nitpicking. Already made this comment plenty long, as usual ^^;;
Your writing is still enjoyable and as mentioned above, your work with characters made this final story very much worth it. As much as you say yourself you should have stopped at the first story... It was a good ride getting two more to enjoy those, and new, characters through. A good ride. A good end before it truly gone too long.
(like this comment..)

Thanks for a good read!!

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Thanks for that pretty long post, Ravenpuff! While it may not always be a pleasure reading how parts of a story falls short, it's still important to do so, and in this instance it helps point out what needs to be tweaked with the in-progress revision. I've added a small point where Luna tells Silverspeak that he was kept in stasis when not giving Iron Hoof's speeches, as well as how Green Wing's infiltration caused a power spike that interrupted the process, allowing Silverspeak to wake up and free himself. I'll also address Silverspeak being shot in the face in the next chapter, and the other points you brought up in later chapters.

Still, I'm glad you enjoyed the story, especially the last chapter and epilogue; I was hoping those chapters would work the best and leave readers on a high note. Thank you for your comment, and thank you for following this saga all the way to the end!

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Heh, sorry for the overly long comment and nitpicking. Just how I show how much I care for a real good story. Definitely been a ride enjoying this saga from start to finish, and still eventually gonna have the sequels on my shelf next to the first one if given the chance.

You keep on rocking ^^

dam greenback, you wrote one hell of a trilogy. it is a dam great read through and through and I look forward to your future works

that ending was beautiful, perfect bittersweet. tho I did have these two songs on loop in my head when I was reading it (now I think about it, I had Austin powers quotes rolling around in there too when magus popped out of fang)

Anywhere, thanks for writing this wonderful series. it was a amazing find to enjoy for getting back into the fandom and i hope you still got the writing spirit inside you

Thanks for the ride

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Thank you! I'm glad you liked the series, and it's an honor to know that it helped you get back into the fandom! Good choice of music, too! And yes, I still have the writing bug; I'm currently working on an story that's been over three years in the making, but I'm writing it all at once instead of going chapter-by-chapter like I normally do.

11529538
well that is good news.... I be looking forward to that digging it claws into me :D