• Member Since 21st Nov, 2016
  • offline last seen March 24th

Silver Inkwell


"Take me away to a dream and I will live like it was real, wake me up to reality and I'll live it like it was a dream."

T
Source

Trixie gets stuck in time, now she has to figure out how to escape.

This is my 50 Follower Special (because that's going to be around the number of loops she goes through that you will read about in great detail)!!!

Warning: Contains Trilight Shipping.

Includes OC/Other Character(s) [For Tags]

(This story is also technically Displaced).

Honorable Mentions: [these are Followers that stand out for from the rest even though I love all of you equally enough (some more than others though) and also have the same amount of respect too as well.]

MLPmatthewl419: For editing some of my stuff/things/stories. Thanks a whole lot. (#56)

RuinQueenofOblivion: #54.

Jongoji245: My very first follower.

Kikio3000: My second follower.

Foxhelm: My fifth follower and a recurring commenter.

SilverKaizoku: #20 and the first person to offer having their story edited by me directly to me through PM.

Bad Dragon: #21 and yet another recurring commenter.

Note Of A Ghost: #31.

BloodyKhan: #34.

The Only Brony: #36.

Sparkletop Rainbows: #49.

Equestriasservant: #50

Chapters (10)
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Comments ( 18 )

This seems very interesting.

You have my attention dear.

During the dream scene with Luna

“I’m afraid so, it’s getting worse now, isn’t it?” Luna said coming over to my side and also sitting down. “Yes, I’ve been having the nightmares for three weeks now, and I just don’t know what I can do to stop or change them, can you help me out?” I said. “I can only do so much to help you out, but know this, you can always change for the better even if you only start out tomorrow, it’s never too late to start changing, I learned this very valuable lesson from the ones who freed me from my eternal nightmare state, you can change too as I once did so long ago, and while the pathway may not be very easy and may be long, in the end it will be worth it, for example I am now loved and valued and treated as I should be, and I’m very glad for that, but I have something even more important too as well, the love and attention of my sister, don’t make the same mistakes that I once did, learn from the past and keep moving on, but don’t try to run away from your problems, just face them head on instead,” Luna said.

This scene here seems wonky in both pacing and spacing. Imo.

So far though I'm enjoying this.

7954251
Fixed, thanks a lot.

Ill read this soon. Can I give some advice? You didn't even post this a hour ago. After you post a story, you should wait a couple days and then post it to groups. Give people a chance to see it and read it, and then bring it back.

First chapter had nice pacing. Save for that one area.

This whole chapter seemed rushed. I spotted you using odd things like.

Softly and gently and smoothly. That is far too many "and".

Seems as if you perhaps boosted this one out the door to build word count.

From what I read it is feeling rushed and the pacing is all over the place.

Perhaps give it a look over and try to fix what you can.

7954277
I'm trying to low down with my stories.
But first drafts are always rushed.

(And yes, I do have people looking at it before, but they won't comment on the story.)

And yes, in general my stores are about the ide and word count first (Quantity vs. Quality).

7954277
I know, I have a problem with And

like:

And With that said.

or

With that said.

But me and it,

It's like an addiction...

That I can't just stop somehow no matter how hard I try.

Damn you and.

Some repetitive sentences.

I guess all characters were" Shocked and Surprised." add other detail to your story span out and try new things.

This out of all the chapters so far, felt like true Trixie.

Plot seems a bit clustered?

Hope you can slim this down if only a bit.

At the end of the day though.

I shall follow this story and give a thumbs up.

You have given a lovely effort and I say bravo.

7954304
I try my best, but yeah, I guess I am repetitive.

(With a lot of stories).

But then again.

After Day 1 or 2 I think you get the idea and shall not try to do anymore.

And thanks by the way.

7954308 you can keep the start off point of trixie waking up and her thoughts. That is perfectly fine, if not charming.

Every character being shocked and surprised.

She turned and walked and talked to ponies.

Stuff like that is repetitive. Just keep a watchful eye out to catch things like these. Perhaps proofread your story around three times after edits. Through a time span of a few hours to give yourself a chance to improve your work.

7954326
Well, you know what they say about that...
It's about time that I got back into the past to edit and change it to make the future better, and then I'll go Back to the Future, to see the past and then change it.

#Shameless
#FirstReference
#ShamelessFirstReference

Awkward word choice in a few places, little bit telly in the beginning, and a couple missing commas...

But I am thoroughly enjoying this so far.

7956037
MISSING COMMAS?

Batman Voice: WHERE ARE THEY?!!

Who don't like this, tell me why?!!

7956060
I have so far only noticed them in the prologue... and I shall send you a PM with them.

I feel the cover is simple enough for now, but any who want to draw something for this, please send me a PM first!!!

7956988
Oh come on, Trilight shipping isn't THAT Bad even if it's not my favorite ship.
Or best, or even if I don't really like shipping in general...

Ugh, why couldn’t it be something else like “I Got You Babe”?

Awesome reference, LOL =D

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