• Member Since 4th Apr, 2012
  • offline last seen Aug 25th, 2013

TheRainbowDashShow


Comments ( 30 )

1033 words seems short but meh,
I'll read it soon

856973
ROFL!
It was a request from fanfiction by a lot of my readers... I don't write clop, never have written clop and probably never will write it again.
But still I figured, not much point in not uploading it. :rainbowlaugh:

forcing even louder moans began to escape Twilight's mouth.
Besides that the grammar is fine

clop is straight-to-the-point but well written while only using 1033 words.
Could easily be remade in a 4000 word fic of astounding quality

856997
:rainbowderp:
Now I'm curious as to if I could actually manage to pull that off...

.......:pinkiecrazy: THIS IS UNACCEPTABLE! WHERE IS MAH ABBUCUSE?!?!?

:pinkiecrazy: Actually...nice story.....besides the fact that I don't read clops means I can't say much else......I guess this should hold me till you release your next rainbow chapter.....Because.....I...Need.....one.....SOON. :pinkiecrazy:

857085
*Salutes* Your skills of decoding are legendary! Also far greater than mine, that's for sure.

857088 why thank you! Anyways, brilliant attempt at a clop. Might I ask if this was your first clop fic?

857094
Yes it was XD (Actually um, if you don't mind me pointing out. Second comment on the page answers that)

/2centson

Well that was vastly short and consequently underwhelming. The premise was good, as was your grammar and choice of words. Really, just everything needed to be expanded. It's actually strange to me how every section was too short by the same amount. The intro could easily be expanded 3 times over, Twilight's reluctance, again, could and should be tripled. Clop sequence, same thing. There are other nicnacs you could add that would make the story more engaging, but the way you write makes me think that you already know a lot of this.

But i really did like the premise. It seemed in character that Rainbow would be so forward and Twilight would reluctantly relent to her promise.

/2centsoff

Well written for a first clopfic. I feel that you read the post on ratings, which talks about how to write a good clopfic. A few capitalization errors, with very few grammar and punctuation errors, but very well done.

some of the best writing ive seen in aclop. awesome.:trixieshiftright:

if only it was longer and more detailed... sex...

858825
Well I intend to redo it... just not tonight! XD

Shorter than I'd like, but not bad.

Now what you didn't mention is that once things got *ahem* serious, Spike walks in, sees this, and is scarred for life. :pinkiecrazy:

864775
Well that goes without saying!

Yeah. Whenever I see library clopfics, I always wonder where Spike is during all of it.:moustache:

864795
Probably out shopping for a new apron or something.

Short, but win. :rainbowwild:

Disappointingly short, but an excellent first clopfic. :moustache: I hope you get that redo up soon! :duck:

Short, but awesome as Tartarus.:twilightsmile::scootangel::rainbowkiss::heart:

the intoxicating aroma building up, causing a tingling of her own as the fluids began to build up

a bit repetitive with building up

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