• Member Since 10th Jun, 2015
  • offline last seen 1 hour ago


No dictator, no invader, can hold an imprisoned population by the force of arms forever. There is no greater power in the universe than the need for freedom. Babylon Five

Comments ( 22 )

I hope folks who read this enjoy the story. Next chapter is already done and in the works of being edited.

You spelt 'Prologue' wrong. It isn't 'Prolauge'.


DOH!!! thank you

Now i feel stupid..I even looked up on Google to make sure I got it right and it gave me the word i used earlier.

Its a pretty interesting story, i Liked it

It may have been a while, but I haven't forgotten my promise to look at your other stories :ajsmug:
Indeed, a combination of a crime novel and FO:E suits my taste really well. The idea is really interesting, but again, there are similar issues to Desert Rose's story - i.e. mixed tenses, plurals written with 's and missing punctuation. I can elaborate a little more if you wish to continue this story someday.


Of course also I sent Frozen clock to my editor and if needed if you like can do the same with this one.


Its getting edited. But at the moment they are busy with school so may be a bit longer.

Fix the punctuation in the long description, please.

My name is Smoke Pipe let's just say my mother wasn't a smart mare. I am known to many of the old world as a private Detective. During that faithful morning. I was hunting a very old stallion that..I had been chasing for year's. Then the world started to burn he and I have been hunting each other for the past 200 year's. I wish to bring him to justice.

But a odd Black Orb that looks like a memory orb was given to me..By a mare on the run..from some unsavory ponies. Known as the Black Aces. Welcome to a part of Equestira known as Wymarnic. A calm mountain part of Equestria. I walk the roads of this small part of Equestria that is mostly controlled by gangs..The lavender crew. The Black Aces, The chain boys, and the Black Stripes.

I learn that this Orb holds the key to why Equestria's army fired on their own in this area of Equestria and why they refused to help us here.

Needs more commas. Also, three dots for a ..., not two.


Alright all done thank you. Took me awhile but I got it done.

I am on a roll another chapter from an old story ready.

If the main OCs in this story were voiced, what would they sound like?

Hmmm the syth detective from fallout

Also a simple short chapter. The next one will be longer.

Don't even know. Stories about "fallout" come out of the graves as unexpectedly as Smoke Pipe.
Well, not bad, stories about detectives are usually quite rare. It's strange that I hadn't seen him before, until he was thrown right in my face as a recommended story.


Hey, at least you're liking it so far.

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