• Member Since 26th Oct, 2014
  • offline last seen Sunday

Rojack79


Keep on reading and writing my fellow pony fan's and rest easy knowing that I'm hard at work writing up more fun pony fiction for you all to enjoy!

Sequels1

Comments ( 261 )

Please don't delete "My New Life" Keep it so people can enjoy and/or see your progress from that to this story.

One things for certain; I don't want to bump into that old woman. Nice to see you've got your mojo back mate.

9168159
Yeah. Can't wait to get more done. Just need to get a few more chapters edited.

9200623
Lol. Don't worry. I have several more chapters done. They just need editing and up that go.

So I’m guessing next chapter we’ll find out how off the rails this universe is compared to the canon universe then I can see if the other comment I have holds any weight

Comment posted by Shadowblade019 deleted Dec 12th, 2018
Comment posted by Rojack79 deleted Dec 12th, 2018
Comment posted by Shadowblade019 deleted Dec 12th, 2018
Comment posted by Rojack79 deleted Dec 12th, 2018
Comment posted by Shadowblade019 deleted Dec 12th, 2018
Comment posted by Rojack79 deleted Dec 12th, 2018

Twilight there both right

they're

By now tho

tho is informal spelling of though

a fir of laughter that overtook

did you mean fit of laughter?

Other than that solid job as far as i can tell!

9344456
Thanks for the editing. I'll get to all of those as soon as I can.

"Can't go wrong with a little Dragon Force in the mourning." He said as he popped in his ear bud's and turned the volume up. The first song from Reaching Into Infinity graced his ear's as he went about his mourning routine. By the time Astral Empire was through he had his teeth brushed, his hair combed took his shower, had a new set of clothes on and was on his way down the stairs to see about breakfast.

Ah, Dragonforce. Btw, they did announce that an album is on the way later this year...I can't wait for how they follow up Reaching Into Infinity.

9396993
I can't wait either. I have all of there albums on my phone. All's I can say is that it's going to be epic.

Something that's quickly becoming distracting: improper use of apostrophes. You don't need an apostrophe for a plural word (eyes, hats, ponies, etc), only when showing possession or using a contraction.

Also, minor detail, but it's "Pinkie Pie," not "Pinky Pie". Far less important than the other issue, but still noticeable.

9470184
Thanks. I need to go through this one day with a fine tooth comb and get rid of all those execs apostrophes.

Using "tho" instead of "though" is improper. Texting speech may be okay for some, but to those of us that used to have to write out all messages by hand to be passed around in class, it's very distracting.

Also, please research and implement the differences between there, they're, and their.

"Can't go wrong with a little Dragon Force in the mourning." He said as he popped in his ear bud's and turned the volume up. The first song from Reaching Into Infinity graced his ear's as he went about his mourning routine.

"Morning" refers to a time of day. "Mourning" refers to grieving.

An Excellent first chapter. We got a good look into our hero's life and got a feel for what makes him tick. The chapters seem a bit short in length though. Adding more detailed description of his surroundings may help with that. Anyhow, on to the next chapter.

9505809
Thanks. I can say that the chapter's do get longer and more descriptive later on.

A pretty good chapter. The only thing I can add here is that there should have been much more dialogue coming from the rest of the Man Six. Twilight being the only one to comment and act while the other five just nod their heads in the background is unrealistic. Plus, banter between them, or just more description of their actions in general, will only add to the story in a positive way.

This was a good chapter. The interaction I stated craving previously was well represented here, and engaging.

I like this universe. It makes much more sense for all ponies to be able to use a form of magic like this to one degree or another, otherwise they would have went extinct early on, or at least earth ponies would have, and wouldn't be the "dominant" race of Equestria. I think it's a very interesting new dynamic to have. Good job and I hope you continue.

9505884
Thanks. I plan on continuing but my new job will limit my already stretched upload rate.

Fluttershy is a bit OOC in this story, but I find that to be ok. It's good to have a different take on the Mane Six every now and then especially if they keep their core values.

I don't think I've read a story with this particular twist to it. Great job

9505912
Thanks. As I'm reading this I've noticed some plot hooks that I just completely forgot about or just dropped after I introduced them. I need to fix that.

This was a great chapter. All the appropriate emotions were captured and the dialogue was interesting. Only thing I could think of to add to it would be more inner thoughts of the main character. Well done

Wonderfully awkward and comedic moments

Another great chapter. The interactions between characters just seem to get more interesting.

This was a warm and fuzzy chapter. Things are looking up!

I noticed that you made a mistake on a couple of words, you used ‘there’ instead of ‘their’ when writing those last sentences.

"How is our son in there show?" His father asked as he sat back down on his seat. They both continued to look at the screen.

"I don't know." His wife said as she looked to there son.

Just showing what I mean with these quotes.

9507719
Yeah that is one of the many things that plagues me when It comes down to the English language.

9507938
I understand that, it happens to all of us, even me sometimes.

Big Mac and Soarin both smirked as they happily ate their food. Hot Shot was to busy eating to say anything and meanwhile, Spike, Pinky and the rest of the girl's all gave John an appreciative nod and smile.

So if Fluttervamp is part of "the rest of the girls" does she get a mind full of what Soarin is thinking about Dash?

9516914
She could if she had it on at the time. Sadly she dosent make it a habit of reading everyone's mind at all times.

Comment posted by Subject Number 6 deleted Oct 11th, 2019

Let's see that love interest blossom!

9520894
Mwahahahaha! Now the question is who's the love interest?

Friendly word of advice, link to The 7th Element. Please respond to this comment.

9520961
I know right? Not knowing who but knowing there will be is what makes it so exciting though. I know he looks at some of the ponies as family but, they are obviously not related so it's open season! Whatever happens I hope Pinkie gets a turn to shine. I know she can be hard to write, and because of that few stories give her much attention that way. Keep up the good work.

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