• Member Since 22nd Apr, 2012
  • offline last seen Dec 29th, 2019

Shumiry


Keep creating, I love you bronies.

T

Written as an entry for Kits' Unusual Pairings Shipfic Contest Extraordinaire Extravaganza LLC. After Granny Smith suddenly passes away, Applejack is crushed by remorse and guilt. Her grief-ridden wanderings land her at Fluttershy's cottage, where she struggles to come to terms with her loss, and to learn a valuable lesson, not just about friendship, but life in general. If anyone enjoys this besides me and is interested in crafting some cover art I'd be much obliged, as I can't seem to come up with a good premise for an easy photoshop cover.

Chapters (3)
Comments ( 24 )

How sad. Granny Smith died.:fluttercry:

This Is amazing. So sad. :ajsleepy: :applecry:

Yay, cuddle time! :scootangel:

This was very good. I thoroughly enjoyed it ^_^
....Though Granny Smith dying made me really sad :applecry:

I like how supportive Fluttershy was of A.J. :ajsmug:

Excellent piece of work well put together and written.:twilightsmile:

I loved this story, i wish it wasn't so short.

At first I was like: :applejackunsure:
Then I was like: :rainbowhuh:
Next I was like: :applecry:
And at the end I was like: :raritycry:

Thank you all so much for your kind words! It really means a lot to me! That being said, don't hesitate to criticize if you notice stuff that's bad or whatever. As for the length, the idea was a flash of inspiration kinda deal, so I only really had the basic premise to go on, as opposed to a more involved, planned out story. Maybe next time!

Awesome story, i really enjoyed it.

Dat ending! :rainbowlaugh:
But really this story was well written and nearly brought me to tears reading some of it, good job :pinkiehappy:

828357 Thank you!
918146 Awesome! I'll have to try harder next time! Manly tears will be shed! :twilightsmile:

922098 You shall never make me cry!!!! *Serious face*

1009838 Whew, thanks! I always get so nervous whenever I see a comment on one of my stories. I'm like, "Here's the one where they're going to tear it apart and be like, 'These are all the things you did wrong.'" :fluttershyouch:
Glad you liked it, and thanks for the feedback!

I really love the way you set up this particular line:

...a mug of something on the coffee table beside her.
...
“Bleh!” She stuck her tongue out, “Tea.”

It's a very subtle trick, planting the word "coffee" in there when Applejack sees the mug. It lets us understand that Applejack thought it was coffee, even though it never explicitly told us anything about what she thought was in the mug. A very effective use of show-don't-tell.

Oh, and the rest of the story is great, too. Just that one line stood out to me as particularly excellent.

I like the approach you used for AJ's attraction; Dash being too lazy/not domestic enough is an angle I haven't seen a lot of.

As for critique: the one thing you should work on the most is when to have paragraph breaks. I saw a lot of places where a character was talking, then there was a break, but that character was STILL doing related actions. It threw me a bit because I was expecting either a name or for the other one to be the focus.

Granny smith dying made me tear up a little, but after the ending, it made me happier :)

1023332 Ah, thank you! Punctuation and spacing regarding quotations is probably one of the most complicated things I've encountered while trying to write. I'll definitely keep that in mind for future stories!

1023644 Mission accomplished! :twilightsmile:

Crying is just what I wanted to do at 1 am.

1113542 :twilightsmile: Yay! Glad I could help... wait a minute. You're being facetious! :twilightoops: Anyways, hope you enjoyed it. Sometimes you gotta release some of that pent up eyeball lubricant.

Ooh, this was good. Very sad. Touched me in a way, since my grandfather passed in a similar manner.

Very nice story. It's refreshing to read a shipping story where the happy 'shippiness' shares it's pages with sorrow and tragedy. Brought a genuine tear to my eye.

Fave'd for an amazing read.

I'm not going to spill more characters at this: It was one of the greatest fanfics I've ever read! :yay:

Sometimes when I can't sleep, I read some fimfiction! I found this one and I decited to read it! I started to read it at like 12:00 AM, and ended at 3:15 AM! This was really great, I enjoyed reading it for 3 hours. It was worth it. (clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap)

That was so sweet! Appleshy is my OTP, and it’s kind of a less popular ship than lots of others. This was great. :ajsmug:

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