Shining Armor had a little extra something done to him by Chrysalis during the lead-in for the wedding/invasion. Now things are getting completely out of hoof.
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"Walk on holey hooves himself."
That line would have worked that much better had Shining been a priest or paladin.
And here we go again. It's a perfect day to be defeated, my queen.
7417015 I like messing with English, and yes, playing pathfinder as a changeling paladin is always fun!
7417022 Starting at the start this time, too. Not needing to play to jokes makes it a bit easier to just write.
a vary good start.
I assume you don't need to read the first to get this one? Because apparently I stopped reading the other one. Can't for the life of me remember why, and there's no comment to tell me why either.
7417238 Nope, this is a complete retelling. And I promise, less jokes and taking it slow.
7417310
Ah, that explains it...
Coolio
(LOL my iPad autocorrected coolio to Cooloola then Collin.)
7417054 I rather like the idea of a changeling inquisitor or paladic grey guard, if only to throw out the competent and snarky fun instead of those wacky 40k/spanish inquisitors.
But that's what made it interesting to read!
7417481 Well, there will still be some silliness, but without the fast-paced flow of the other one, they won't be as tightly packed or well timed.
ooh.. this, I am interested in. O: A more mature retelling of the lesser fast p-. wait, is this the FMA:Brotherhood'd version of the original?
A successful predator?
I'm interested to see how it all goes when it's not played for cuteness and laughs.
7420722 Since when has Chrysalis shown an ounce of success?
7421316
That was my point. Silly pony.
I see your story and raise you one up vote.
7421476
Good old tactics: if it seems resistant, push harder!
Keep going! ;)
At the end of the chapter you failed to mention who was at the door or what Shining had done to 'Disagree' with Chrysalis. Other than that great chapter.
Interesting how Chryssy's attraction to Shining grows.
9293207 Literally her first attempt at a relationship. Crushes can be tough.