• Member Since 3rd Dec, 2014
  • offline last seen May 9th

Harmony Split


Love has no desire but to fulfill itself. To melt and be like a running brook that sings its melody to the night. To wake at dawn with a winged heart and give thanks for another day of loving

Comments ( 95 )

I post the story and get a negative vote in 10 seconds. Just wth :pinkiecrazy:

A dark covenant hm?

Starting out great Tavi. thumbs up.

Please kill Grey Plate and his cohorts. Painfully. I beg of you.

7319082
Obviously some poor soul was so excited that their finger slipped.

OK if I pick a few nits?

It never went old

This is an weird corner of the language, but it should be "got old" (and the present tense counterpart would be "gets old").
(I'd have to do some research to know if this is technically a grammatical error or just unidiomatic. My last formal English class was about 20 years ago.) (... I'm not as old as that makes me sound. My education was atypical.)

Gently, I leaned forward and laid gently

Second "gently" -> "gentle". (Autocorrect doing some of its own biting?)
(I'd note that even then, the sentence sounds odd to a native speaker. We try to minimize multiple uses of root words in the same sentence, but here it's a minor aesthetic quirk, not a correctness issue.)

I perked up. “Where you two...?”

Where -> Were.

And one more: "Silent" or "silently" are used a couple times where I think you wanted "quietly" or maybe "almost silently". "Silence" is binary, something is silent or it isn't (but something that is so quiet it's almost impossible to hear may be "almost/nearly/virtually silent").

7319297

Thanks, fixed!
I think the Duck was a bit tired yesterday :twilightsmile:

7319309

Maybe, but judge no one's editing by my standards. :twilightsmile: I am, by nature, pretty anal-retentive, and my best friend since my early teens has been a guy who, for some reason, loves our quirky little language and had to learn to stop himself from correcting every minor typo in IRC and instant messages.

It... kinda rubbed off on me. :twilightblush:

what the hell u up to gray plate:rainbowhuh:

7322896
Don't worry, next chapter will be published tomorrow.
And yup, I'm fast.
This is a story I really wanted to write for a long time now.:twilightsmile:

this is like a civil war in cantorlot.
AND I LOVE IT!!!! :heart::heart::heart:

How many stories will this series have?

7329600
This is just another step.
If I can, I will continue the Lunar Tales endless

it's amazing how stupid some ponies are. To think that Celestia would be happy to have her sister gone again. :facehoof:

They will get their light, as they are thrown to the sun.

The plot thickens, and Night you better prepare. :rainbowwild:

7485003

It's not since Midnight Flow is a main character in this story.

This... This chapter adds some really great character development for Midnight. Considering the rivalry between the night guard and the day guard, it was essentially a huge risk for both Sunset and Midnight to even be friends, let alone lovers. The fact that the day guard were seemingly responsible for the attack in the armoury shows that even though Midnight took that risk, her loved one was taken from her from ponies with different opinions, possibly leading up to a bitter resentment of the day guard. I have to admit, the characters and their emotional development in this story is incredible, and I commend you on your writing.
~E.B~

the only thing that I can be happy about while reading this is the fact that I have the empathy of a brick proceeding at extreme velocities, so I don't have to worry about sobbing my eyes out.
doesn't mean I'm not affected, ofc.

7501999

I know I can get sappy in my stories from time to time and some don't understand it.
I say a story without strong feelings, positive OR negative, is a dead story.

This was a most beautiful chapter :twilightsmile:
~E.B~

Maybe I'm missing something here but why is the second pony that got killed called Night Dust now when her name was Rain Cloud two chapters ago?

7614961

Thanks for pointing it out, missed that.
Error fixed.

Wow, that was... emotional.:fluttershysad:
Midnight is definitely my new favourite character in this story, great development.

7615197

Glad you enjoyed it so far.
New chapter should be up soon! :twilightsmile:

It still hurts to see Midnight Flow so distraught over poor sweet Sunset Streak

why didn't she just fly off of her lover?

Oh no... Big bed, night guard doesn't recognize the room. They're in Celestia's chambers, aren't they? :twilightoops: :rainbowlaugh:

she past my hips

Either past -> passed, or a word got lost.

and loose every thought

loose -> lose

7717358 worse, she's in General Night Watch's bedroom

7717541

Uh-oh... A most plausible and troubling thought you have there...

Hmm... What would be the worst case: Night Watch, Blue Moon, or both at once?

7717566 It's probably best if it's just the general, she has a crush on Luna and could probably be convinced to keep it from her wife long enough for the two of them to get a head start (or, you know, join them) while if Blue Moon was with her, her first instinct would be to destroy them both but Night Watch would do her best to prevent the love of her life from commiting regicide and/or bring danger to their foal, afterwhich, (read, when Blue Moon calms down after a tonne of sex) she'll do what every proper lady does ... they get even.

7717358
Thanks^^

7717541
7717566
7717807
7718110

All good guesses, but let's just wait for seven, shall we? :raritywink:

7718177 Waiting happily. My bits are on Tia. It's probably her bedroom, given Luna's crack about making things interesting when they teleported in.

Luna would never miss a chance to tweak her sister's nose. All in good fun.

Batpony mommy hormones are scaaaaary. :twilightoops: Did poor little Night Watch get a bit of Luna and Midnight's punishment, too?

also indefinitely lust

Was this supposed to be "definitely" or "infinite"?

I promise that you will still walk tomorrow. Or humble.

Er... stumble? :twilightsmile:

Wow, gore-y :pinkiecrazy:

Let's hope that child is born sooner rahter than later; else, Night Watch may not survive this for very long:rainbowwild:

:rainbowhuh: I'd really recommend ponies stop messing with the night guard. It just makes... er... messes.

Ever think of a Moon Shield/Red Wave side story? (Y'know, your copious free time...)


tell us something usefull

usefull->useful

I started calmly

started->stated ?

This is no good idea

"not a"

Login or register to comment