Time is something many ponies don't cherish. Will Blue Moon and Night Watch succeed in their task to make everything better for their foal? Or will darkness devour everypony, leaving nothing but a trail of forgotten hopes and dreams?
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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I post the story and get a negative vote in 10 seconds. Just wth
Starting out great Tavi. thumbs up.
7319121
Thanks
Annnnd faved!
Please kill Grey Plate and his cohorts. Painfully. I beg of you.
7319082
Obviously some poor soul was so excited that their finger slipped.
OK if I pick a few nits?
This is an weird corner of the language, but it should be "got old" (and the present tense counterpart would be "gets old").
(I'd have to do some research to know if this is technically a grammatical error or just unidiomatic. My last formal English class was about 20 years ago.) (... I'm not as old as that makes me sound. My education was atypical.)
Second "gently" -> "gentle". (Autocorrect doing some of its own biting?)
(I'd note that even then, the sentence sounds odd to a native speaker. We try to minimize multiple uses of root words in the same sentence, but here it's a minor aesthetic quirk, not a correctness issue.)
Where -> Were.
And one more: "Silent" or "silently" are used a couple times where I think you wanted "quietly" or maybe "almost silently". "Silence" is binary, something is silent or it isn't (but something that is so quiet it's almost impossible to hear may be "almost/nearly/virtually silent").
7319297
Thanks, fixed!
I think the Duck was a bit tired yesterday
7319309
Maybe, but judge no one's editing by my standards. I am, by nature, pretty anal-retentive, and my best friend since my early teens has been a guy who, for some reason, loves our quirky little language and had to learn to stop himself from correcting every minor typo in IRC and instant messages.
It... kinda rubbed off on me.
moreeeeeee
7322896
Don't worry, next chapter will be published tomorrow.
And yup, I'm fast.
This is a story I really wanted to write for a long time now.
MOAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
this is like a civil war in cantorlot.
AND I LOVE IT!!!!