The Equestria They Don't Want You To Know: Lyra's Guide to Conspiracies and Secrets

by TooShyShy

The End

Here we are. The final chapter. The last word. The conclusion. The end of this guide and everything it stands for. You, noble truthseeker, have finally reached the end. You will have to seek out further truth elsewhere.

Or will you…..?

Fortunately, this isn't the end at all! If anything, it's just another beginning! You see, while we have answered many questions in this guide, there are still some we simply couldn't answer. Questions that continue to leave us puzzled. But you, dear reader, have the power to answer them yourself! With a little prying, a little research, and a little cider, you can become the truthseeker we have all been waiting for! You can answer some of our lingering questions, such as….

How does our time system work?

How old is Granny Smith?

Is that mysterious portal as dangerous as it seems?

Why is yawning contagious?

What is the point of existence?

Is bursting into song at random healthy?

How are all five of Twilight's friends and Twilight herself so good at singing?

Just how far up Harshwhinny's flank is that stick?

How much cooler would twenty percent be?

Why don't we normally wear clothes?

We are now depending on you, noble truthseeker, to answer all of these questions and more! But be on your guard! Neighsayers will stop at nothing to prevent others from finding out the truth! Remember to always carry a jar of peanut butter and an impressive stick with you when you're out truth-hunting.

That's really all we have to say. Good luck in your exploits. Hopefully one day you'll write a guide similar to this one and it will prove to be even more liberating!

Message from Lyra: I encourage you to read The Adventures of Secret Agent Bon-Bon, a novel written by a beautiful and amazing mare named Bon-Bon. It's not about conspiracies, though. In fact, I'm not sure what it's about. I haven't read it.

P.S. Don't tell Bon-Bon I haven't read it. It'll break her heart.

P.S.S. Okay, I did read the first chapter. What the buck is an “artificial sandwich”?

P.S.S.S. Buy my next book.

Special Thanks to Our Talented Authors

Lyra

Prince Blueblood

The Great and Powerful Trixie

Suri Polomare

Comments

[Fracturedheart]

That was fun!!!

[Alkaiser]

Very amusing. I'm glad I checked this one out.

[Packel]

Buck (Equine) = Fuck (Hoo Man) (ex. Applejack helps the farm by fucking trees)

I lost it.
Also, this reminds me of SECRET GANGSTER FRANKENSTEIN RADIO CONTROLS

[KitaUne]

Remember: Truth and lies are inseparable, as we clamor for truth we sometimes miss the lies we are caught in, and just as lies lay within the truth so too is a lie founded upon the truth.

[PaulAsaran]

You can has review!