• Member Since 16th Apr, 2014
  • offline last seen Jul 31st, 2019

TooShyShy


Fan fiction. The final frontier.

T
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Pronoia: believing the world is conspiring in your favor
Paranoia: believing the world is conspiring against you

As a former member of Canterlot's elite law enforcement team, Twilight Sparkle is used to a certain level of responsibility. However, her years of experience are rendered useless by her sudden and unwanted transfer to the sleepy little town of Ponyville. With no other option, she chooses to give into the monotony.

But this all changes when a grisly murder shocks the entire town. As the only member of Ponyville's police force equipped to deal with this sort of thing, Twilight welcomes her first real case in over two years. But she quickly realizes that there is more to this murder than meets the eye. It seems Twilight's past has followed her to Ponyville.

With the help of her loyal assistant Spike, a series of strange clues, and some cryptic notes, Twilight tries to figure out the identity of the pony or ponies who have wrapped her up in their bizarre game.

Chapters (17)
Comments ( 125 )

I have to say I am super SUPER into this story. I really REALLY hope we get to see alot of both Spike and Twilight's relationship. With Spike NOT being a baby and grown it opens up so many doors here. And with him no longer being on the force but STILL hanging out with Twi it opens so many door as well. I have to wonder what happen to make him leave but still want to be around Twilight all the time. I think honestly instead of them having a sibling relationship I think them having a former romantic or even better STILL romantic,....well romantic tension,, there would be great. It would explain why he can't leave her side even when he doesn't want to be a cop anymore. I see him wanting to keep her safe since even with as strong as her magic is he is still a dragon. Something in the upper tier of the physical power scale of this world and he is immune to most magics, he is the perfect partner for someone so magic heavy as Twilight. The bruiser to her range. I just don't want to see him end up a background character or a side character when there is so much room for a great story with Twilight and Spike in this. I can't wait to see more and see how these two handle this new and interesting case.

This looks very well written and promising. I am hooked!
But please, no out of the blue shipping for the sake of it.
Edit : Favourited!

Is Jim Carey starring in this too?

:trollestia:

I take it there's no Discord in this universe, otherwise his petrifaction spell would have broken LONG ago.

-reads story description-

... Hot Fuzz?????????????

-squints at tag- Nevermind. I'm back to being interested.

So... This is an alt universe?

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In Alternate Universes you can make the petrification spell last as long as you want.

This story had better not die after only one chapter!

8953282
It's been 5 days. Give him some time.

OH man this is becoming one of my favorite stories for sure. I love seeing Twilight investigate things and really get into the workings of the case. I think she handles that side perfectly. I feel that we could so see how Spike is a good bit the opposite of her. While she is good at breaking it all down to information and the facts, she is really poor at talking to people and getting them to open up and give information. Spike on the other hand can be very good at that. He is good at talking to people and getting them to open up, and when that doesn't work.... well he is a dragon and his natural presence can be very intimating.

I am honestly not trying to figure out the case ahead of the story, I just want to enjoy the case and watching these two figure it out step by step. It is hard since I am someone w/ho spends ALOT of time thinking about stories and things I really enjoy but watching the case is just so much more fun than making my 'who did it?' charts lol.

I am honestly a bit sad to see Spike being interested in Rarity. I have nothing against Sparity in fact it is my fav MLP pairing. But I just LOVE seeing his interactions with Twilight in this story. They can comment how they are partners and all but they seem more like a great married couple than anything. Hell they live together. I can so see it being a rumor or a joke Dash likes to say that the two of them ARE a married couple. I just like the idea of Spike coming back after seeing Rarity with someone else or she just finally reject him and Spike confiding in Twi or being the one to relay on her for a change. I think with such a complex case like this adding the element of some personal things like the real feelings and dynamic between two long tie partners would only make all of this more interesting. I am sorry I am sure you have all this planned out but I just can't help but think how amazing these two together or even just this being addressed and being a thing in the story being such a amazing thing as seeing them both not as just investigators but as 'people' and their relationship with one another.

I wonder will there be some raciest profiling thrown against the ONLY Zebra in town. The town's ponies already think badly of her till it is all cleared up but with a odd and ritual seeming murder in town. They will throw the finger to the outsider first for sure, and next they will blame is the dangerous dragon.

This chapter is well written!
I like how you depict Twilight's way of thinking and acting.
This story reminds me of the best polar novels I've read!
Tooshyshy, you are a quite skilled fanfic author!

Ohh. My back is shivering all the way when reading this.

“No idea,” he said. “Identification is going to be a pain in the flank. Whoever did this was through. Removed the Cutie Mark and everything.”

This and some of following paragraphs, it should be 'thorough.'

I am quite interested in where this is going. Twilight and Spike have a good rapport as old partners who've been doing this too long and coped in different ways.

Very VERY interesting. It is looking like Zecora will soon be getting a visit. I wonder how that will go, we know they will start to look at her as prime suspect with her being a longer, access to the poison, and from someone like this jaded Twilight would see as cult practices. Of course I am hoping she has kept alot of her book smarts and would know about Zebra culture enough to not make that jump in logic. And if anything I can see Spike being the one to keep her from putting Zecora just on the chopping block for what she is. I get the feeling he may have been specie profiled ALOT during his time in the big city himself and would never want to do that to somepony else. I once again love seeing how close Spike and Twilight are, I can't help but feel there is something there and hope I am right lol. AJ had a interesting introduction to the story as well. I would love to see Twilight try to question Mac.... she will get so pissy about his one word answers lol.

Hm..... so this isn't just ANY type of murder. Someone wants to hurt Twilight in a personal area.

Great chapter again! Definitely, you have the skill of a good polar books' writer!
Is the killer a sibling of Twilight, a sibling she denounced to policeponies after they killed their parents who were doing bad things to Twilight, and the sibling now hates Twilight and wants to have their revenge on her? No wait, that's the polar book I'm reading!

You write hard-boiled noir very well. If you had anything published professionally I'd probably buy it, and I don't usually buy crime books.

Twilight gritted her teeth. Fuck it. They wanted to play a game? Fine. Twilight liked games.

Play ball, fellas!

OH man this case just got alot more personal and alot more intense. I fear Twilight will through herself all the more harder into this case. And for someone like that that would be a dangerous amount. I honestly think Spike might have to step in and help bring her back down to earth when her obsessive personality take over fully. But the scary thing is that Spike I say has a huge target on his back. I mean lets be frank, out of EVERYONE the only one close to her anymore, the only one she would be truly hurt now seeing be harmed is Spike. Even if she wont admit it, and that is bad when the killer has a hard on for her. The only good thing is that Spike is a dragon. Meaning it would be SUPER hard to put him down, with him being tougher than diamonds, resistant to all but the most powerful magic, and if push come to shove he could let his instinct take over making him a beast to put down. But all of that make him hard to kill not impossible. So I really want wait to see what will happen next.

The game is afoot!

Or a very skilled pony who perfectly copies other ponies' writing styles...
You, Tooshyshy, have shown great skill in writing this.

The through description of the body's physical state—including the swelling that indicated poisoning—seemed off to her.

'Thorough,' I believe. Relatively early on in the chapter.

Another excellent entry.

I have a couple suspects already, but they may just be crackpot theories at this stage. Either Spike is the killer and he's doing it so Twilight can get one last ride in this boring slow town, or Twilight cracked and is doing the killing and setup in some sort of fugue state for much the same reason. Or maybe just because she can.

Who knows. In any case, keep it up. I look forward to these updates.

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I hope it's neither of them.

Oh........... so it's one of THOSE types of criminals. The kind that no matter how gruesome the murder it's always someone else's fault and they're just trying to make them pay.

This will be interesting. It isn't even just as VampDash said, which I strongly agree with, it is even more than that. This isn't just some nut having his kicks. This is a bit worse than that, this is someone who feel they are on a mission. That mission is to get to Twilight. And that is dangerous because that means all they do will be excused in their mind because they are doing something bigger than their crime. They are going after something worse and bringing that to the light is the most important thing. That mean this is someone who can and will do anything making their actions really hard to figure out. Well the only one who might have a chance is Twilight, because she is the one who has the best chance of knowing the sin they are talking about.

Revenge is never sated... Someone is really out for Twilight's head.

8999662
My bad eyes mistook 'sated' for 'salted' and I was amused.

There was something ab0ut it that suggested a secret order or a cult

there's a zero there rather than an 'o' :derpytongue2:

Also so much jelly -- is it jelly pony that was killed? ohno :fluttercry:

Gosh, how does one get lost in Ponyville? ya got me; I'm interested now

Another great chapter, I really love seeing this mystery unfold and the constant guessing and pondering I do about where it will lead at the end of this trail.

Great chapter!
I think Trixie wouldn't appreciate the idea that she has sold something to a killer.

Very well done the way you walked us thorough her process of deciphering the code. I was happy to see this update once more. Keep up the amazing work.

I continue to appreciate your work.

DAMMNNN what a great taunt. I mean that is a great way to get to her. But that is for sure a way to know this might not be someone local. Since Spike has moved there with Twilight. If I remember right he has been off the force. That means he hasn't had to best chance use that second hand writing since being in town. So this is someone for sure familiar with her past and has been watching her since Spike has became her partner. Also someone who has had access to the documents of Spike's formal writing. Which he has only really used in professional settings. This for sure is a interesting twist. I wonder what will happen when she go home to Spike. Honestly I would love to get a great moment of her calling Spike to get him to walk her home, and we see them just talk as they head home and maybe some more once they get there. Some brain storming and maybe even more built on their relationship and how Spike wont leave her even if he might be at risk.

Fucking yikes. The only thing worse than a feeling that there are eyes on you when you aren't looking, is the confirmation of those eyes on you.

Great chapter once more! The culprit knows how to get to Twilight...
I look forward for more of this excellent fanfic.

Small typo: should be Las Pegasus, not Los Pegasus.
Good chapter, like where things are going.

The situation is getting more and more tense.
Where is Spike?

This was a interesting chapter for sure. If feels like not alot happen but also a great show of the mentality of Twilight at the moment was shown as well. She is shook for sure I wonder what she will do in the state she is in now. She really need Spike at this moment, I hope nothing really happen to him but it does make me wonder where he is then. I mean he REALLY doesn't seem like the type to vanish like this even more so during such a important time like this. It would have be he either really just lost track of time, got captured, or found a lead he is checking on and cant get away from it at the moment. It feel like the tension is rising and idk how Twilight will handle it on her own.

Oh dear this is.... NOT good.

Now I have to wonder if Spike is a Red Herring or if he is the Fox. So far he’s the only one who knows Twilight this well and would know what would unsettle her. He’s an intelligent drake and knows police procedure and would be able to avoid detection. The fox mask and cloak could be used to hide his scales, snout, and wings and with him being larger than the average pony he would look like an Earth Pony. Then again all of this could be done in order to trick Twilight into suspecting her best friend and closest ally.

I am deeply intrigued into how this will all play out and who really is The Fox.

The library? Would she go to the library? Would it even be open this late?

Was Spike kidnapped? Who leaves their phone right in the middle of a well-made bed, on top of the covers and everything? Maybe someone stole his phone, entered the house, and put it on the bed? If he shows up with his phone missing, saying he must've forgot it but didn't leave it on the bed, or that someone took his phone, then it'd be more proof that someone entered the house.

This is SUPER interesting or sure. There has to be more. There is no way Spike would have left his phone, gone off and just called a bunch from a unknown number. It just seems more like a message. I cant help but think someone got to him but instead of killing him.... they just took him. I mean what would scare her more, what would send a shiver down her spine more? Taking away her only connection, her only life line, the only person who she cares about and truly cares about her. That shook her for sure, but might has also distracted her.... I mean what is the best way to keep Twilight out of her mane? Keep her busy with something else, like the only thing she would put over the murder case. I hope it isn't just Spike got drunk somewhere and left his phone. That would feel like a bit of a let down. I can't help but feel like it is more than that and now Spike will be by her side for the rest of the ride.

I am sure this wont happen but I SOOO wish this would, but I hope this really get her to look and reflect on her relationship with Spike. She got to see just how much he means to her and I want to see how that effect her. The Rarity thing is cute and all, but I know he there MUST be something there for Twilight if he was willing to change his whole life to follow her and keep doing this job even when he isn't on the force anymore. It is just nice to see the cold hearted mare find a bit of happiness. Where it would end up who know? But I can so see this being more than one case with this pairing since they are so fun to watch work and interact with each other.

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