Marekuza

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Comments ( 16 )

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Horny Horse

Horny Horse #1 · Oct 7th, 2016 · · · 1. The Dragon of Kamareucho ·

And the image itself have little to do with the Yakuza. when I first saw the picture I thought the story was a Sukeban story.

Diokno44

Diokno44 #2 · Oct 7th, 2016 · · · 1. The Dragon of Kamareucho ·

7623653 I can't really find good Yakuza MLP images

Horny Horse

Horny Horse #3 · Oct 7th, 2016 · · · 1. The Dragon of Kamareucho ·

7623664 I know I myself tried to find Yakuza related mlp, I only found one real mlp Yakuza image but it is not that good. It's kinda weird, this fandom have crossovers with ponies in almost everything but not the Yakuzas!

Diokno44

Diokno44 #4 · Oct 7th, 2016 · · · 1. The Dragon of Kamareucho ·

7623687 Sad, I know

Velvet-Fresh

Velvet-Fresh #5 · Oct 7th, 2016 · · · 1. The Dragon of Kamareucho ·

YES! So much yes! also you beat me to it... well kinda.

Gur-san

Gur-san #6 · Oct 7th, 2016 · · · 1. The Dragon of Kamareucho ·

Alright, you have very interesting premise and a solid world for said premise. But by Celestia, too much exposition and detail! You seem to have an issue where you describe every little detail and back story of every object and pony, or non-pony, we are introduced too. Giving us insight into your world and why things are the way they are is fine, but do so when it is either relevant to the plot or to the characters currently involved. Not mention there is a little too much telling, not enough showing, going on here. When you introduce Twilight, telling us she is amazing at all these different things feels clunky and awkward. Instead, show her winning a fight with relative ease or completing a task that only Celestia would trust her to do. I really like what you've written so far, it has my interest, and you are right, there really isn't any pony yakuza content, so I eagerly look forward to what happens next, but it's hard to get through a story bogged down by so much extraneous detail.

Diokno44