Spike has always liked Rarity, and Rarity finally seems to like Spike back. Spike is planning his move, but a stranger has a few words of wisdom for Spike before he goes through with asking Rarity out.
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- Member Since 14th Aug, 2014
- offline last seen April 21st
CategoricalGrant
"I haven't seen a bigger waste of talent since Dan Marino." -Lucky Seven; Want to support me?
CategoricalGrant
Joined 14th Aug, 2014 ·
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It's a shame this is written so well when the premise and presentation is so lacking.
Like, I get what you were going for, but this was a really lousy way to deliver it. It feels less like a case of "uneven love" and more like an angsty, broken-hearted soliloquy about how "love hurts and probably won't work out so why bother trying?" I'm a big Sparity fan too and I can appreciate a well-done fic where it doesn't work out, but "an OC stepping in to stop it before it even starts because he's so hurt by his own loss that he poisons Spike's mind with his jaded view of love" isn't my idea of a well-done failed-Sparity fic. And justifying it with that last line is really unkind to Rarity's character given everything else in the fic prior to that had suggested that she was growing legitimately interested in Spike. Not to say that she CAN'T be the sort of character who goes from boyfriend to boyfriend without much care for any of them - in fact my top favorite Sparity fic ever involves her having a long history of doing exactly that - but it felt like the implication here was genuine romantic interest, not a passing flight of fancy or strictly physical desire, and that makes things a little different.
As much as the concept of the fic fell flat for me though, you obviously know what you're doing when it comes to the craft; the writing is technically-sound with very few errors, and you have a good sense for natural-sounding dialogue. I wouldn't mind seeing other stories from you. Particularly if you take another shot at a Sparity story.
--CG
forced ending 'MEH' after one lecture from an unknown stallion 'MEH'
img15.deviantart.net/2ebb/i/2016/100/4/f/no_suprise_ii_by_hillbe-d9yhwoc.jpg
nice writing , just the end was 'MEH'
Spikes impulse would make him say "Sure Rarity" and his mind would catch up " I'M SO SCARED WHAT A'M I GOING TO DO NOW?" FAINT......
7112685
Thanks for the well-thought out comment!
I tried to make this not an angst fest, but I guess it didn't come out that way. I'd much rather write a happier Sparity story and I'm sure that I will not too far in the future, but I figured that I wanted to write a more dialogue heavy, darker story.
If you fail once, try again, right?
7113493 You learn you grow.
img10.deviantart.net/bbee/i/2016/096/5/c/you_did_this_color_by_hillbe-d9y0g0b.jpg
7112685 Out of curiosity, which Sparity fic are you referring to? I have a hunch, but I want to know for sure.
7359258
Like Fine Wine.
7359789 Aha! My hunch was correct. Yes, that's a good one. Thanks!
7112685
Given Trenderhoof and Blueblood, I can swallow the author's interpretation of Rarity.
9325363
It threw me for a loop too, but then I realized: she's in denial. Because if he is something special, then she'd be forced to focus on that heartbreak.
Ehhh, the last line should be omitted. An ambiguous ending would have been better than a forced ending. Otherwise, I...liked this story. I very much empathized with Wave.