• Published 25th Feb 2016
  • 892 Views, 34 Comments

A Book for a Pegasus - Snowliasion



A pegasus mare heads to work with the knowledge that her afternoon will be great, she will finally get the newest novel from her favorite author C.W Step

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A day for literature in Canterlot.

My name is Snowy Haze, and I am a courier in the Canterlot Delivery Service. It was another sunny day, and another standard morning in the capital. That would be the normal thing too, except that it was Friday, which meant that the newest novel of the, in my opinion, talented writer C.W Step was coming out. It was called The Princess of the Knight, and she would be presenting it at a booth at the Equestrian Writer’s Convention. I was filled with glee over this fact and, for once, did not curse Celestia's radiant sun for invading and disrupting my dreams. I blinked my golden eyes open and got up, shaking out my coat and feathers before heading into the shower.

As I trotted down the stairs of my modest yet oh so cozy home a small half hour later, my eyes immediately focused onto the welcoming mat as usual. I hung my head after few seconds as there was no mail or any letters to be seen there, yet again.

"Aww, well maybe after work I'll be popular," I nickered, chuckling at my own humor before turning to my kitchen for a quick breakfast.

As a pegasus my home had various furniture and appliances made with cloud technology, simply because it was more affordable on a mere courier's paycheck, but also because they were pretty light and thus easy to move around when I got bored with the layout of my home, I shook out my freshly showered white coat and whipped my still damp blue mane out of my eyes. All in all life was good, and this morning would be too once I remembered where I had left the carrots I brought back yesterday evening.

Rummaging through various cabinets a slight frown found its way onto my face and I vocally started to retrace my steps from the last evening.

"Let's see... I came back from my last rounds of bringing packages and went by the market, bought a bushel of carrots, then went home and dropped off my saddlebags. But I was tired and headed into my bedroom, bringing the carrots with me, and grabbed that newest issue of Cosmare..." I said, a crimson flush washing over my cheeks as I suddenly remembered with full clarity where one of the carrots had gone and what I had been reading, "The rest should still be on my nightstand."

Well that teaches me to play with my food.

With that mystery cleared up and the other three carrots now safely being kept in my stomach, I guessed I should head out to the daily grind also known as work. I grabbed my saddlebags with my teeth and deftly swung them over my back, neatly avoiding my wings before leaning down and strapping them shut with a practiced motion that had been the result of several years of doing it. I then stepped out into the warm sunlight and closed the door to my apartment, slipping the keys into my bag before spreading my wings wide and leaping off the edge of the floor my home was on. I beat my wings strongly a few times before finding a thermal updraft to glide on, instead of having to flap all the time.

I really did hope to go about my rounds fast today, as the reveal of Miss Step's book would be held later this afternoon, the event taking place at the Canterlot Convention Centre. But first things first bringing around the many parcels and packages that would undoubtedly be waiting for me at the gathering point as they were every day. It saved a lot of time for couriers like me to not having to fly to the main building every time something needed to be delivered. No, for what it was worth, gathering points like we used were a goddess sent, and today was no different at all. My heart sank immediately seeing the amount of items that had to be delivered and I cursed softly under my breath. My mother would not be proud of me if she had heard those particular lines.


Later in the afternoon and a whole lot of parcels lighter I finally arrived at what would be the last address of the day. Incidentally, it was also the address that would provide me with a late lunch. Sunridge Sweets was famous for its treats and great hospitality, run by Pepper Ridge and Sunbeam, a couple that simply loved to produce fine food and service. Often they were helped out by their daughter, yet at this hour only Sunbeam seemed to be around.

As I trotted up to the counter and gently placed the last parcel down she turned to me and offered a jovial smile.

"Thank you for the delivery as always honey," the elderly mare praised, before nodding towards a shelf, "I suppose you would like your usual order of a shake and two strawberry bagels?”

I nodded eagerly at her and returned the smile instantly. I had been fond of the motherly mare ever since I first set hoof inside the little bakery..

"Yes please Mrs. Sunbeam, that would just be lovely."

I then looked at the shelf in anticipation as she packed two of the bagels, then poured my drink into a cup with a lid before stuffing it all into a small bag and setting it in front of me.

"That will be seven bits," she told me and chuckled softly, "And you know Snowy that you can just call me Sunbeam right? Everypony does."

She gave me a soft little glare without even the tiniest trace of malice. This pony was the kind that would very rarely, if ever, be vicious.

Lowering my ears sheepishly I stuck my head into my saddlebags and placed seven bits on top of the counter before answering meekly, "Yes Sunbeam. It's just my upbringing you know? My mother raised a polite filly."

I then took the bag in my mouth and turned to leave for the convention as Sunbeam waved a hoof after me, smiling the whole time.


After eating my lunch I flew across the skies of Canterlot as fast as my wings would carry me, excitement bursting through my veins as I neared the convention centre. From what I heard, the newest novel was about a knight of the guard and the princess he was responsible for. Save to say I was beyond eager to get a signed copy of it from the mare who wrote it herself.

Imagine my shock and absolute awe when none other than the very diarch of the night, Princess Luna, was present at the convention. I had not known that Her Royal Highness was a fan of Miss Step's novels as well. Though upon closer inspection the book's cover art looked frighteningly similar to our very Princess and the very serious almost glaring royal guard that flanked her.

Seriously, that pegasus guard looked like he could tear me apart by simply looking at me. So I did my best to not enter his field of vision instead waiting at the current end of the line like a good little mare. Gasps were heard as the pegasus in question started to interrogate Miss Step about her pen name and I face hooved hard enough to make me move back one or two steps.

"Did he really just ask her if she is a criminal?" I mumbled more to myself than to anypony else.

I rolled my eyes when I spotted a pony who had fainted near me. What a drama queen.

Luckily the Princess took it more lightly and I heard her admonish her protector nervously.

“Nay, Silent Knight," she said, "Authors are celebrities, and they don’t have overzealous house guards to protect them.”

With her other hoof, she tapped the book.

“If you could just make that out to Luna.”

Wow, just Luna? What an honor. Miss Step slipped the apparent house guard a copy too with a smile and whispered something to him. I simply shrugged, thinking what a scary pony that Silent Knight was.

After a moment or two it was finally my turn, my mouth running dry as I stepped closer and nervously offered her my own copy of The Mare's Temptation to sign while picking up a copy of her newest novel. As she signed the book I had brought, she smiled at me, a smile I would cherish forever.

"Here you go," she said and I nearly fainted on the spot myself.

Who was the drama queen now, little pegasus?

I stammered a thank you as I placed my book back into my saddlebag and looked at her.

"I am a huge fan and you totally made my week," I said, and I meant it.

This was an event that I would not soon forget. I made room for the next pony in line and turned towards the exit with both my prizes in my saddlebags and happiness in my heart, finally on my way home.

Author's Note:

Well here it is, my very first official novel written online, please don't be too harsh with your judgement is all I ask.

Crystal Wishes and Sunbeam are created by Crystal Wishes.
Silent Knight is created by Anzel.

I hope you enjoy my story and see you next time. Sincerely, Snow.

Comments ( 34 )

I want to say that I'm very proud of you for sticking to writing and even going so far as to publishing your first story here. That is a huge step and I promise the more you work at it the easier it will get.

I enjoyed this. It was cute, and whimsical. You did an excellent tie in. Well done!

Snowy Haze sounds like the sweetest of ponies. Love how you described Silent, too. :rainbowlaugh:

Best of luck (not just saying that because I want to read more)!

Good to see this story on the site. I saw your thread earlier and have been hoping to see the story show up ever since.

for once did not curse Celestia's radiant sun from invading and disrupting my dreams

The sun is indeed a mighty nemesis.

Awesome! You actually did it! It was a fun read, especially the description of Silent Knight.

I don't dare to start on my own.

Remember that? Less than 24 hours ago, you were too afraid to even try writing. And in less than 24 hours, you snubbed those worries and wrote a cute little story that I in no way would have any kind of bias toward liking. And then you published it.

Job well done, Snow! :twilightsmile: Now you have your starting line and are in the adventure of writing. I hope you had fun because you have so much potential to only go up from here! :pinkiehappy:

a crimson flush washed over my cheeks and I suddenly remembered with full clarity where one of the carrots had gone and what I had been reading ... teaches me to play with my food

I really love that.

For a first time, that was really good. The excitement really translates well. As a fanboy myself, I can definitely relate to just about everything here, especially her meeting her favorite author.

The scene at Sunridge was a small pleasure. I'm a big fan of Mama Sunbeam! And again, I can relate to her insistence on honorifics. It just doesn't sound right when someone I know as Mr or Mrs insists on going by their first name. :applejackunsure:

My critique for you is to divide the longer sentences up a bit. I've had trouble with that myself, so please don't feel too bad. This story really was a nice read, not too short or long. I wish you nothing but the best as you continue to write, learn and grow. :pinkiehappy:

This is one of the few stories that actually made me smile and... like... make a really embarrassing squee sound. In other words, it's really cute and well-done. I think you definitely have the potential to work at it and become a really good writer, and I believe in you! :pinkiehappy:

Some advise.

Your perspective in first person should be less visual and more emotional. For example, the crimson flush shouldn't be a visual, it instead should be more feeling-based. You wouldn't be able to see your own cheeks flush unless you were looking into a mirror. I would go deeper in explaining the feeling of your checks turning crimson, such as the heat of there moment, the blood, perhaps a slight kick in your heartbeat, etc.

Paragraphs are sometimes executed incorrectly. Each paragraph should be a unique idea or purpose. Some of your paragraphs are not split in the right places or are split incorrectly.

I'll give it a like. Keep it up!

It was a cute, fun read.

6970811 Thank you Anzel as one of my role models I feel honored to have your pride.
6970816 Thank you kindly Synthaholic, I tried my best with the characters that weren't mine.
6970853 Oh yes Snow hates the morning sun haha.
6970879 Thankies Joe, well Silent did get reprimanded and he looks scary to a small mare like Snowy.
6970884 Crystal I was so nervous but your PM exchange with me gave me the final push to jump into the deep.
6970916 I hope I did mama Sunbeam as expected.
6970988 Heehee made you squee!
6970990 Deathtrap thank you for your advice, this was the first story I have ever written so sorry I still need to learn a lot.
6971106 I'm glad you were amused Artimae.

Thank you all, did anyone get the little reference I did in the very beginning? :rainbowwild:

Very cute and a fun read! I'm glad you posted this! People already pointed out a few places where you could improve so I'll just say that I'm super excited to see more from you! :pinkiehappy:

6972163

If I put myself in Velvet mode I can think of a possible innuendo that was early in the story. If that is referencing something I am not aware of the source story.

The sunny day bit right at the start. one of Anzel's ponies and one of my favorite oc's :rainbowwild:

6973103 Hah! Clever! I didn't catch that at first, but it's obvious now. :rainbowlaugh:

Your first fic? Not bad. Minor flaws that come with using a computer and a keyboard (seriously, the amount of times I find letters missing in MY words is unreal), and you could do with using commas a bit more, but all in all really good!
Anzel already said a lot I would have told you, but my main advice is: Keep writing. Even if it's just little tiny stories with no real meaning or depth to them, it'll help improove what's already there. I've been writing for close to ten years now, and while my main project may not be pony-related, it's the same for every type of literature: You learn by doing!
So, keep your head held high and write on!

6981766 Why thank you I'll certainly try.

this is a good fic i relly enjoyed this your earnd a tumbs up ^_^ (btw like your name)

6982929 Thank you kindly, all this support and yes also the constructive criticism make me want to write more in the near future. :twilightsmile:

Sweet story, I enjoyed it :rainbowkiss: Minor flaws here and there but it was more than fine for your first try. I shall await the second story of yours with great anticipation, Snowy :twilightsmile:

(I'm just going to call you Snowy, because you seem too cute to just call you Snow :raritywink:)

7021097 Why thank you kindly it should come out today. :twilightsmile:

Ah this was a well written story actually. The only thing I find wrong is the run on sentences. But other than that, great story! Warm fuzzies were administered during the reading of this story!:twilightsmile:

7036729 Thank you Legion and run on sentences will be my bane for a while.

Before I say anything else, that cover is the most adorable mare I've seen since Ditsy Derpy Doo herself. I'm about to have a heart attack she is so cute.

Now, for the story.

So simple, so relaxed, so refreshing. If you look up "Slice of Life" in the dictionary, you should find a picture of this story. Very well done, this story was so relaxing it lulled me into just sitting in my living room chair for a few minutes, reliving my day in my mind before I wrote this comment.

Very Simplistic, and very cute, as a good Slice of Life should be, and this was brilliant. I'll definitely be reading the sequel.

7037820 Thank you for your praise, this story was a big step for me, it's the first thing I've ever written and was too nervous to write it, but Crystal and Anzel along with the crew in the Quill and Blade discord app group convinced me to just try, and so I did, part three is on it's way.

7039005 You're very welcome, and I look forward to finding the time (God help me) to read your next works.

Though the few grammatical errors, this story was a really good for a begging writer. :twilightsmile:. It was quite amusing and a delight to read. I hope you keep writing about Snowy Haze because you have caught my attention.

7059347 Sure will! second story was better in the grammar department and I'm writing a multiple chapter third story now.

7059351

I am looking forwards to it :twilightsmile:.

Why does Snowy Haze look horny?

7181395 Self determined is more the expression. :twilightsmile:

Tev

Wow, you must have a great editor _^_

A nice read. Keep up the good work!

7226307 Thank you there is a sequel and prequel if you'd enjoy that. :twilightsmile:

For your first fic, this is honestly pretty good. The thing is, it doesn't feel like a complete story in and of itself: it feels more like an introductory scene that makes for a quick read to get to know a character. However, that can be a good thing if you're able to build upon the character, and it seems like you have done that.

Also:

a crimson flush washing over my cheeks as I suddenly remembered with full clarity where one of the carrots had gone and what I had been reading...Well that teaches me to play with my food.

You are a very naughty mare. :rainbowlaugh:

Keep it up!

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