What would you do, if somepony you knew and loved for years, turned out to be somepony they weren't?
Berry Punch always thought her marefriend's cutie mark was a funny thing. A dentist with an hourglass Cutie Mark? That didn't make any sense, but she didn't make a big deal out of it. All Berry Punch knew was that in her hour of need, when she had her heart broken a daughter to tend to, and alcohol was her only savior, Minuette entered her life, and everything was going to be ok.
That is, until the day Berry found Minuette's strange Fobwatch, etched in strange markings that would be the the clues to her real identity.
And to an old traveller who always thought he was the last of his kind, he would suddenly regain a friend he thought he had lost centuries ago
It's funny thing, identities. Most of us can't help but be who we are. Some however can hide them away, until they come back to haunt us and affect the life we now live
Solid writing, excellent story you've started here! The very first fanfics I read were Loyal2Luna's awesome Dr. Who crossovers. Finding another solid crossover years later is great!
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Thank you very much! I hope I can keep it going, I've got an entire outline of the overall plot (no, not that kind of plot
) and I just need to sustain the drive to write this.
I've not read all of it just yet due to time restraints in my working week, but I feel an urge to speak my views about this story so far: it's pretty damn good.
Saying this, I found the beginning to be very jarring. I guess it's what happens when you want a beginning to hook people into the story via tension and excitement, but I feel the sincerity of the characters alone are enough of a hook themselves. The beginning is just a drawn out exposition that could've been revealed at a casual pace throughout the story as opposed to desperately flinging all the information at readers at once.
The beginning is something I find awkward at times, but when I am unhappy with it, I identify why I'm unhappy with it and try to picture the events from a different time and angle. I just feel this beginning needs to be looked at. Try to be conservative with vital information.
For example, I tried to begin a story I'm currently working on called 'A Pathetic Ideology of the Antipathetic Identity' right from the very beginning. Realising it was a terribly slow start, I decided to skip to when the human protagonist wakes up as a pony (it's going to be a very different take to the whole 'human ends up in Equestria as a pony' cliche). As such, I removed all the needless exposition and made the protagonist's identity a mystery as readers try to figure out what exactly is going on.
We both have one thing in common: too much telling and not quite enough thinking about how readers will respond to it.
Anywho, I'll continue reading this later on because I believe that you will do a good job of this. You've already made a solid start, so for that, well done and keep yo e good work.
I can only agree with previous speaker. This story is one of the best Doctor Who crossovers on Fimfiction. And it's only one chapter.How you achieved that? I have no idea and I really don't want to inquire, I can only say that you're easily compared to legend of DW stories here Loyal2Luna. Keep it up, because I intend on watching you and this story!
Moar?
Please?
Eh.
7529779 I'm actually trying to write chapter 2 atm. It's just a bit hard to do it in between my summer job. I have it planned, though
NOOOOOOO! It's over
oh my god!!!!!! It's
FredRomana(1:40)
I'm Begging you please continue
I'm afraid I don't know much about Dr Who, but the story in itself is really interesting. I'm dying to know more about the relationship between Time Turner and Minuette, and I'm also curious why the woman transformed into Minuette the pony and didn't die. Is she some kind of super-being?
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Well, to give you the Dr Who backstory necessary to understand the fic, the Doctor (both in the BBC show and in this fic Time Turner) are a species of humanoid aliens called Time Lords. An ancient race with the most advanced technology in the universe, their signature technology was the Tardis, their spaceships that could also travel in time. Containing a pocket dimension on the inside (thus being much larger than the outside suggests), they could also camouflage themselves to match their surroundings (to explain why the BBC show's Tardis is always a blue police box, the camouflage system is broken).
As for the Time Lords themselves, they have a trick for cheating death. When mortally wounded, a Time Lord regenerates, every single cell in their body rebuilds, meaning they change physical form (and in real world terms, change actors and thus keep the show going for decades). It means that while they retain their memories, their personalities can completely change.
Another key technology the Time Lords have is the chameleon arch. If a Time Lord needs to hide, they can remove their entire time lord essence and mind and download it into a pocket watch, with the arch giving them a cover personality and memories to suit the situation. The watch itself has a perception filter so the hiding time lord doesn't realise what it is and simply ignores it, but if their attention is drawn towards their watch, they will feel the compulsion to open it and restore their Time Lord self.
Thus, Romana is from an ancient species of alien super beings called time lords, stole one of their time machines in the middle of the Last Great Time War (which nearly destroyed reality), tore a hole in the universe when her tardis was shot and fell into the pony universe, and in the explosion regenerated into the form a pony to suit the universe. She then hid herself using the chameleon arch and has been living for years as a dental student then dentist in canterlot before her attention was drawn towards her pocket watch, and her Time Lady self was released.
As for their history, I'd say more, but that would be spoilers, I'll just say she's a character who used to travel with the Doctor on the BBC show
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I"m trying, getting back into writing after an engineering degree consumed all your time and effort is hard
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Ah, now I understand. Thank you for taking the time to introduce me into the wonderful world of Doctor Who (I'm not kidding, it does sound interesting)
AMAZING YES A MUST READ FOR ALL HOOVIANS