• Member Since 13th May, 2012
  • offline last seen Apr 16th, 2016

Democritus of Abdera


T

A story about Minuette "Colgate" Romana putting her life and livelihood back together in a new home in Ponyville with the help of friends she meets along the way, and some old ones she left behind in Canterlot. Colgate is a clock maker and carpenter (hourglass cutie mark, what was I supposed to do?) Berry Punch owns the local bar and has a daughter (Ruby Pinch) whom she adores. Toss in Cheerilee as Berry's frazzled but dedicated sister, Big Macintosh and everyone's favorite Mailmare Ditzy Doo, plus my freaky knowledge of Football, that is "Hoofball" and hopefully the resulting brew will come out tasting nice.

For those of us who can't get enough Berry Punch, Minuette recommends this blog: http://berrypunchreplies.tumblr.com/



(The story is going to be pretty straightforward, classic cast with as few OC ponies as possible and mostly situational humor and themes like forgiveness and reconciliation, working through problems and building relationships, and relying on your friends when you're in a jam. Probably some romantic themes later on, but nothing over the top or in bad taste. There will be some sad bits too of course, but that's not what the story is about, or what drives the plot. This is a story about beginning again in a new place, and all the hardships and triumphs, laughter and love therein.)

Chapters (9)
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Comments ( 187 )

Looks pretty good to me. I'll definitely be keeping track of this. :yay:

Cool fic, bro! U get a fave.

Of course the missing box was the towels. Why wouldn't it be the towels?

On a different note, I like this and hope to see more of it soon.

I hold the mighty lance of the first comment!
This is gonna be interesting.

Ha classic Derpy. Now go live it up tonight Colgate.

Excellently well-written. That's all I've got so far.

I bet the plaque was for highest tab ever and had Berry's name on it.

Ha! Berry Punch knows how to throw down a mean bottle.

This is random and cool in all the right ways.

this is good cant wait to find out more about "Ginny"

this is good, i like where you're going with this.

And now for the heartwrenching backstory... Good thing I brought popcorn!

Just thought I'd let you all know that this is the new Colgate in my head cannon....

Thanks for all the positive feedback so far. I'm so glad everyone is enjoying the story as much as I am. However, looking over chapter "4" (that is, chapter 3), I must say it feels a little sub par in terms of the quality of diction and word choice. A little too much repitition of sentence structure and the like. Writing drunk people is suprisingly hard. I think I'll be going back and doing some fixing up in that chapter. (all the major events will be unchanged just...prettier.) Chapter 5 wont be affected and will be up in the next few days regardless.

It's important to me that if ever anyone feels like there is a degreadation in quality, that they feel ok letting me know. I meant what I said at the end of the prologue, I want this to feel, look and sound good.

It’s not like I could just leave her here, not after buying me dinner, drinks and being good company to boot.

Yes, her brain said sarcastically, this isn’t like kidnapping at all. If you were a stallion, this would be beyond creepy.

Shut up. I’ll…sleep on the sofa.

Oh Colgate, you dirty pony, you.:raritywink:
Anyways, I'm hoping we get to see more Drunk Punch so we can hear her colorful thoughts on the rest of the Mane 6.

Right, I've satisfied my anal retentiveness regarding chapter 3, er chapter 4.:facehoof: Mayhaps I should just rename the prologue chapter 1 and go from there, so this is all less confusing. What do you all think? Better I do it now if I'm going to do it than around chapter 20 or something. (I guess that comment also tells you poor bastards the kind of long haul you're in for huh?):twilightsheepish:

we need more colgate stories :ajbemused:

You know its funny, I've always liked the way Colgate looks cause she's my favorite color and all, but you rarely ever see stories about her. I love your portrayal of her and how she got her fan name as well considering her cutie mark is an hourglass. Can't wait to read more =) . Also the part about Rarity that Berry was saying? That was hilarious :rainbowlaugh:

609565 ^what he said basically :pinkiehappy:

Man do I love this fic. Please update soon.:pinkiehappy:

Oh...that could have gone better. I hope they smooth this bump in their budding friendship out.

So, Colgate is lez?
Ooookaaaayyy, then.

Ah, zee romance, it blossoms like pesky weed, no? It got killed before it could take zee roots into zee ground.

618691
I blame the hangover. The aftereffects of alcohol are pretty much emotional roundup. Killed those weeds before they even touched soil.

So...Am I the only one that's a bit creeped out by carnivores ponies?

627871

It is strange for me too, but you can't really have the kind of evolutionary changes that predate tool making and civilization without a high fat, high protein diet. Those growing brains need nutrients.

WOOOOOHHH!!!!!! Finally!!! Someone else used her real name! :yay:

Meat... Well, that's a plot element that rarely surfaces. The most I've seen is Rainbow and bacon, and the fact that ponies shouldn't eat too much of it. Pretty much never seen a fanfic with ponies as omnivores. Also, don't they need a specialized teeth structure for meat, or is gnawing at it enough?

631878

Interesting, but still a bit odd when one considers the number of sapient and partially sentient animals in Equestria. Still, I think it's commendable that you're making a go at justifying it.

669991

Well, nothing really says they couldn't have a more human-like tooth structure; they certainly differ from terrestrial ponies in enough other ways.

Azu

Ok, you really won me with this chapter, I love the way this story is going. :pinkiesmile:

This is really good. You get a thumb and a favorite. :moustache:

Side note what they do for a living does not necessarily need to do with their cutie mark. Looks interesting read later.

uhm yeah, just wondering... did you get this idea from a tumblr blog?

Azu

Well this update was quite a pleasant surprise! :pinkiehappy: This is quickly becoming one of my favorite stories, I can't wait for the next chapter. :yay:

*sees only two comments about carnivorous ponies*
*doesn't see any idiots flipping their lids over it*
...damn, you've created ponies that eat flesh without causing a shitstorm of morons instantly assuming Cupcakes. Just for that, you get this here Favorite-Star...thing. And a thumb-up, because why not?

Off-Topic: And I'd still like to see a fanfic, just ONE fanfic, write 100% carnivorous ponies in a somewhat believable manner that avoids being dark or over gory in any way. And it has to actually be decently written, too. But that isn't happening, is it? :facehoof:

730116 yes how did you mis that whey are usualy together in the background

I can't wait for the next chapter! This is such a awesome story :3

730167

While I do love this tumblr for Berry Punch, I had actually begun writing this story before I knew about it.

http://berrypunchreplies.tumblr.com/

You guys should check it out, it's really well drawn.

That was so fluffy and sweet I thought I was reading cotton candy. I seriously love this fic.

730537

Ah, you misunderstand me. The laws of shipping have made Berry Punch x Cologate one of my favorite pairs, even when they aren't romantically involved. I wasn't sure how I could have missed this fic when I went on a shipping frenzy last months.

Towels. LOL. Anyways, I love what you're doing so far. will look for errors- everone should seek constructive criticism, right? :scootangel:

Can't wait till Pinkie finds out about the new pony...:rainbowlaugh::pinkiehappy::twilightsmile::yay::raritywink:

733022

Absolutely, any kind of error correction is welcome.

733147

Oh yes, the party train is coming, and it has no brakes.

"Oh! Yes now I remember, Twilight moved to Ponyville right after that. She left with such abruptness, not even a fare-you-well. Melodia was quite offended."

Minuette tapped a hoof to her chin. "Well when you put it like that, I see what you mean. Princess Luna always seemed less...personable than Celestia. I feel like I could just walk up to her and tell her my concerns." Minuette shook her head. "I know that's silly, and Celestia is probably nothing like that up close, but she has an excellent rapport with her subjects."

This doesn't flow very well. As far as I can tell both of these paragraphs are Minuette speaking, and they're about entirely different subjects.

1...2...and...Poof!
COLGATE learned FUTURE SIGHT!

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