• Member Since 10th May, 2015
  • offline last seen Apr 11th, 2021

Sparkletop Rainbows


Just a pegasister who's a huge fangirl on the inside. She follows back and would love to be your friend! (Avatar found at http://swa-oku.deviantart.com/art/Hetalia-Fan-Art-Samovar-Teatime-360787743)

E

Fluttershy was a shy filly who loved to care for animals. One day, a stray puppy shows up at her door. With pity, Fluttershy takes it in until it finds a new home. But Fluttershy discovers that not all things will stay.

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 20 )

This isn't a bad story, but there is way too much telling and not enough showing.

The description is nice. Will read later and let you know how it is:twilightsmile:

Finished reading it a few hours ago and while it is nice, it does have to much telling but no showing. Overall, if you get an editor, it will be better:twilightsheepish:

7464129

I'm not planning on getting an editor, this story's already old.

7464291 Oh. Sorry.:facehoof:. Still, nice story

7464291 Also, you still hadn't answered my previous question.

7464335 What you wanted me to change in chapter 2

7464337

Oh, you don't have to change anything. You posted it on the doc, right?

7464342

I think you misunderstood something. When I said post it, I mean on the doc itself, not in the comments.

7464350 Uh... let me fix that:facehoof:

7464350 Ok, I sent it to you

7464358

I'll just paste it on the doc so everyone can see it.

7464400 Cool. Thanks. Anything else worth noting?

Login or register to comment