Hello everyone, my name is Treble Klef, and I love music! I am as of now new to FIMFiction, but I hope to help others as I gain knowledge of this amazing site! You should never give up if you try!
As a young boy, Treble Klef was raised by two stallions: Night Shine and Rose Red. He was raised by him, and influenced him to reveal his cutie mark, and his passion for music. But, when Treble Klef is sponsered for the Summer Sun Celebration he unleashes powers no one knew he had.
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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I'd give it a look, but you misspelled the word "Tragedy" in your chapter title and my brain is firing red flags. Good luck on your venture, though!
Main character's name is the same as writer's user ID? Never a good sign.
...especially when this sort of thing gets thrown into the mix.
6877849 Just because it's like that, doesn't mean it will be bad. Don't judge a fanfiction by it's description!
6882502
Fine, I just read it. Your grammar is lacking, your OCs have dumb names, and extraneous princesses make the Cake twins cry. Plus you're trying way too hard to make your self-insert special.
As a young colt, Treble Clef was raised by two loving fathers: Night Shine and Rose Red. They taught him everything, leading him to discover a passion got music, and later, his cutie mark. Trouble stirs, however, at this year's Summer Sun Celebration. When Treble is hired to play, he starts to discover new parts of himself: the kind ponies don't soon forget.
Could use some work, is what I'm saying.
6882502 This isn't wattpad newfriend. Self-inserts are not going to do you any favors. That and the grammar.
6883475 ok
6882502
I'm going to have to disagree with you there. I've seen enough stories to know that often enough the bad stories can be picked out by their descriptions if certain criteria like, say, the author's personal OC being the special snowflake protagonist are in there.
Sorry, kid. The King of Pirates wishes you greater luck in future endeavors, but I can already warn you this isn't going to be received well.
6882853 This not something I wanna hear as someone new to writing fanfictions. At least offer some help, or maybe some positive criticism. Oh, and my pony names are names I came up cause I ain’t that good with names. If you feel you can come up of better names of MY OC’s then go ahead and tell me. But you don’t know anything significant about my OC’s.
6895235
Maybe you shouldn't have posted your story in a public forum, then. If you only shared it with your friends, I'm sure you would have had plenty of support.
I'm positive that you -- and first-time writers in general -- should start off with a simple "Slice of Life" featuring only canon characters. But no one ever listens to Zathras...
What's stopping you from doing the same thing Hasbro does and recycling a name from a previous generation?
I don't care to.
And here's the thing -- most other readers don't, either. You write a story that stars one of the Mane Six? You've got a built-in audience. You write a story about a character that you made up? You need to sell that character in order for others to take an interest. That sales pitch includes the character's abilities, personality, appearance, and yes, even their name. Speaking of appearance, you may find this link helpful.
6882502 As a fellow author on this site who has done OC fics in the past, I can safely attest to all the things Elric has said thus far, especially the following bit I will quote, as things most new writers will experience. Hell, I experienced this sort of stuff on my first few waddling days of this site first-hand.
My take, twofold: if you want to write a good story, you write in character—to make it great, you build character. And it is one thing to throw or create established or original characters in a story of some kind, but it's quite another to develop them, regardless of whatever situation they're in.
From what I see so far, you have a problem with killing your darlings and showing, not telling. There are proofreader and editor groups that can help you with that sort of thing; just my two cents.
6896363 Who told you that, and how do I get in contact with him/her?