Mighty Cause

by Treble_Klef

Ponyville

Chapter 2:
Ponyville

It was a cloudy, but not rainy, day down in the city of Newsdale. Newsdale was a small, but successful city that is well known all around for one thing: news. As the name suggests, Newsdale deals with all thing news. They sell the ink, paper,and even the equipment. Newsdale also has an institute for journalism and has even bred many of the great newsponies known today. But today was the starting day where ponies in business started to close up shop for the Summer Sun Celebration. This year, the Summer Sun Celebration will once again be held at Ponyville, which has expanded a little bit since the last time.
Everypony knew about Ponyville. Well almost everypony. This pony is a stallion, and his name is Treble Klef. He is somewhat a loner, and never made any friends. He always stuck to his work and his music. His parents are the gay couple of Newsdale, Night Shine and Rose Red. They certainly helped with Treble Klef’s music love.
He pursued his love of music and creating it, as his cutie mark states, by opening up a club called Night Rhyme. His club started off slow, with people coming in and having a few drinks in the friendly atmosphere he worked so hard to provide. But soon, the ponies attending his club started to talk to him, and soon he had “friends”, and had his name spread. Soon, a very well known band asked to perform, and that started his open houses. He would have ponies of any kind show up and show their musical prowess. He himself would even grace the ponies wit his own singing and music playing on special occasions. Soon, everyone knew Treble Klef as a fantastic singer. He was even offered a music label, but had to decline since it would mean leaving his club to somepony he didn’t trust.
But, he did accept one thing. He was offered to be the main attraction at this year’s Summer Sun Celebration. He would perform his signature pieces that were heard all around and then some, if they desired a oncore. He only accepted because he had to close his club for the Summer Sun Celebration, so he thought “What the heck?”
He had just put up the “Sorry, We’re Closed” sign up on his club door, and was making his way back to his apartment. He had always like his parents. So much in fact, when he moved out, he moved on the apartment above theirs. He walked to see his familiar gray-ish house in a little neighborhood near the outskirts of the city. It was two stories, being the bottom floor and the top floor, which were different apartments. He saw two figures sitting on the porch of the bottom floor, sipping on a cup. One of them noticed Treble, a white pegasus with cotton candy hair poked the blue unicorn with orange and red hair next to him and pointed to Treble Klef and his eyes widened. He soon saw the unicorn teleport himself and the pegasus in front of Treble Klef.

“Treble! It’s so nice to see you!” said the unicorn, hugging Treble Klef with bone-crushing force.

“Hello… Night,” Treble managed to squeeze out of his lungs, still in the unicorns grasp.

“Oh Night, let go of poor Treble Klef before you break some bones!” said the pegasus.

The unicorn did comply, but only made room for the pegasus’ own hug, but this one was warm, inviting, and gentle.

“Hello Rose, how have you two been? I know I haven’t been around the house recently. Was kinda spending some time fixing up my club, and staying at a nearby hotel,” Treble Klef said, returning the affectionate hug given by one of his father's. His favorite father by far was Night Shine, since it was him that helped unlocked his cutie mark, and him who taught him how to cook and manage most adult stuff, like taxes, bills, and money management. He never anypony more organized. His other father was the more carefree one, always letting Treble Klef do whatever he wanted, though that was quickly changed thanks to Night. But there was something good about Rose: He was fun! They would go out on picnics, go skating (though Treble Klef was terrible at it), and would play with him when Night Shine had to do work. He also helped with homework, better (surprisingly) than Night.

“So Treble, what brings you by?” asked Rose Red, giving a quizzical look.

“Well, you know how the Summer Sun Celebration is coming up in a week?”

“Why yes. Are you planning something?” asked Night Shine.

“Well yes, I was asked to be the sponsor the celebration as the guest of honor at Ponyville,” Treble said with him rubbing the back of his head with his right hoof. The two stallions opened their mouths in surprise, but then came forward to hug Treble Klef out of joy.

“That’s great new to hear! I can’t believe you are the guest of honor!” squealed Rose Red. Treble saw the joy in both his fathers and he struggled to free himself from their tight, painful grasp. “WAIT! Are the Wonderbolts participating as well?”

“Umm, I think so. They do their show just before my song ends, giving off a badass look to my exit,” Treble said, almost glowing with pride, “But anyways, I came back to pack a few of my stuff and I am leaving today. I already sent Princess Twilight Sparkle my note I’ll be there today.”

“Now, don’t go wooing the Elements of Harmony. I don’t want to hide you from the crowds again,” Rose Red said, remembering a little flash back. Back at middle school, Treble Klef was a scrawny, weak colt. He also wasn’t the most popular kid in school. In fact, he wasn’t at all popular. He had an acquaintance named Jade Quill, a scrawny and weak colt like Treble Klef was. They would talk when they sat alone, but Treble Klef never considered Jade Quill a “friend”.
It was the last day of school, and Treble had a crush on a mare named Leatherette. Even though she was the most popular girl in school, he still asked her out. Everypony was so angry, he ran home and hid their, with their parents saying he wasn’t there, or he was out doing errands for them. Soon, they had the the police handle it, and he was left alone.

“UGH! Rose, I promise I won’t! Plus, it’s not like anypony would date me anyways,” Treble Klef said.

“Don’t say that! I’m sure there are plenty of mares and stallions that would love to take a bit out of you!” Night assured. But what Treble didn’t see was Rose Red looking him over.

“I’d sure like to take a bit out of him,” he thought to himself. They then left him alone to go into his apartment to gather the essentials: Clothes, his bagful of bits, and a few photos. He also brought his special pink microphone Rose Red had made him. He came outside of his apartment and went down the stairs, using his gray magic hold all of his items. If there was one thing Night Shine strained to do was train Treble Klef with his magic. He always had a lot of magic reserves, but he spent it too fast. So he trained for years, and learned only a few spells, since he didn’t like them. He hated the feeling of transportation, and also always wanted to use spells for everyday life, not just on special occasions. But, he was forced to learn the basic magic blast, for protection, as well as a shield.

“Bye father's! I’ll be back as soon as I can!” Treble Klef said, running to catch the train.

“Wait! I have something for you!” Night Shine said. Treble stopped in his tracks and walked back to Night. “I have something from Spar… I mean me. It’s a little bracelet I had as a child. Please take it. I hope you come back safe and sound,” Night said, kissing Treble Klef on the cheek and wished him off. He kissed him back and started to run, running like he was being chased. He ran until his lungs ran out of air, and even then he kept running. This was Rose Red’s fault. He trained Treble Klef for endurance, not speed. But, he made it to the train station with only a minute to spare. The conductor, a gray mare wearing the normal conductor get up, noticed Treble and waved.

“Hey hey hey Treble! Where are you off to now?” the conductor asked. It took a bit for Treble to answer, he was still catching his breath.

“Ponyville. I wasn’t supposed to tell anyone besides family, but I am the guest of honor for the Summer Sun Celebration,” Treble said, giving the conductor his ticket.

“Well congrats kid!” she said, taking the ticket and hole punching it. “Well, you’re all set! Well except one thing.”

“What could I have possibly forgot?” Treble asked, taking back his ticket from the conductor.

“These,” she said, pulling out a pair of rustic black glasses.

“You found them! Oh thank you thank you thank you!” he said, giving the conductor a hug. She returned the hug and shoved him aboard the train. He didn’t retaliate, and went to go find his seat on the Ponyville Express. He found a nice, secluded seat away from the crowd. He sat down and used his grey magic to put his few suitcases in the compartment above his seat and looked out his window. He saw his father’s waving outside, with ear to ear grins painted across their faces. Treble returned their smile by giving his own grin and a wave. The train gave a long hiss as the train began to begin its’ long journey for Ponyville. The train took a few minutes for it to start moving, but soon it left the station. But something gave Treble Klef an unsettling feeling, seeing his father’s look at each other with a concerned look. “Eh, probably worried about me leaving again,” Treble Klef thought to himself. He soon distracted by the changing scenery. He was astounded, like always, about the amazing view of a changing landscape. No matter how many times he left his town to perform (when he closed his club when it needed) in another town or city. He loved the new sites, even new towns. But soon, he fell asleep due to the amicable environment.
He woke up to someone lightly nudging him. He woke up groggily to the constant nudging. He opened his eyes to see a light orange earth pony with light blue mane with a concerned look, or maybe nervous.

“Umm, s-sorry, but can I sit here? T-there are no other seats,” said the stallion.

“Uh, s-sure,” he said,” I-I guess.” The stallion sat down, almost in the walkway. Treble then looked around, and saw ponies everywhere. He became flustered, and sat as close to the window as he possibly could.

“S-so, what’s y-your name?” asked the pony, who Treble finally deduced that he was nervous.

“I am Treble Klef, w-who are you?” he said looking at the earth pony. He looked at unicorn sitting next to him, and muttered something. But he couldn’t decipher the stallions muttering, so he asked the stallion again. “What’s y-your name?”

“I-I’am Ginger Burst,” the stallion finally said. This is when Treble looked at the stallion’s flank, looking for a cutie mark. It was a martini, but it was rainbow colored and surrounded with a cherry, lemon, orange, apple, watermelon slice, lime, and a banana. “N-nice to meet you.”

“Where are you going?” Treble said, trying to strike up a conversation.

“Ponyville, I am there for the Summer Sun Celebration. I’ll serve the drinks,” Ginger Burst said, using his semi-long light blue mane to cover his face as best as it could.

“I’m too. I get to sing at it,” Treble said plainly, starting to get a little more comfortable with his new acquaintance, who seamed more shy than he was.

“That’s cool. I always liked singing, but I was never good at it. But, I am good at, like, making any and all kinds of beverages. Especially alcoholic drinks. I own a small corner bar.”

“ I own a club down in my home town. Maybe you could move to Newsdale and we c-could you know… work together,” Treble Klef said, never freely wanting to work with somepony before,” I-It could be fun. I-I mean, if you don’t wanna do it, t-then it’s fine with, b-but you know.”

“M-maybe,” Ginger Burst said, seaming a bit more open than before,”That sounds good.” And after the that, the two stallions began to talk and chat, talking about their home towns, what they do, who they got their cutie marks, and much more. But soon the two stopped to the train slowing down as they reached their journey began: Ponyville. They stepped out of the train, and all Treble could do was stare at the small quaint town. It was buzzing, but not to the intensity as Newsdale. It was loud, but not the headache type of loud. In some way, Treble thought it was…

“Perfect? I know, but I got used to it. I actually have a cousin in here, and she is a handful. So, where are you staying? I got no place right not, planning to stay at my cousins,” Ginger said, smiling at Treble Klef.

“I-I actually have a spot in the castle here. If you want, y-you could s-stay w-with me,” Treble said, adding a red hue to his coat. Ginger Burst was as red as Treble was, but spoke with confidence.

“Sure. You know, you’re a nice friend Treble Klef.” Treble Klef was surprised he was considered a friend to him. And for once, he had a friend.

Comments

[Dragonborne Fox]

6882502 As a fellow author on this site who has done OC fics in the past, I can safely attest to all the things Elric has said thus far, especially the following bit I will quote, as things most new writers will experience. Hell, I experienced this sort of stuff on my first few waddling days of this site first-hand.

And here's the thing -- most other readers don't, either. You write a story that stars one of the Mane Six? You've got a built-in audience. You write a story about a character that you made up? You need to sell that character in order for others to take an interest. That sales pitch includes the character's abilities, personality, appearance, and yes, even their name.

My take, twofold: if you want to write a good story, you write in character—to make it great, you build character. And it is one thing to throw or create established or original characters in a story of some kind, but it's quite another to develop them, regardless of whatever situation they're in.

From what I see so far, you have a problem with killing your darlings and showing, not telling. There are proofreader and editor groups that can help you with that sort of thing; just my two cents.