• Member Since 9th Dec, 2013
  • offline last seen 19 minutes ago

Ponyess


I just recently started to write stories directly towards the FiM actively, though I have been writing for years, publishing numerous stories at Mibba and the eventual pony story, as far as to the MLP

Comments ( 9 )

A little bit to vague to be really interesting, sorry. And why the purple for Rarity when you switch to black in the Middle any way?

6861926 I like to have a deep purple for Rarity, and Pink for Pinkie Pie. I only add a few lines before it is actually published to see it for myself.
If there are any specific details you did not see this far, please let me know, maybe I could slip them in at the earliest convenience?

6861793 How do you mean? Care to elaborate?
The story is set to explore the given Fetishes, under the given circumstances.

6863600 Well, I don't really have anything against color ed text per se (Although Pink will be Hard to read) but I was more curious why only the first half had color and The rest was black. And of you just wanted to test it... its still there.

As for the theme, well...Perhaps you can add some part in the beginning about Rarity designing fetisch clothing, how she mentions stuff she Made for others. You do as you want of cource, but Perhaps she could mentions how she Made a "classic al but boring burlesque lingerie for Rainbow" in vcontrast to "a provocing, yer elegant full-body tiger suit for Fluttershy ". And then she could mention how she enjoy making all this stuff but that she most of all wants to works with really edgy stuff "like the designs she has done now".

As it is now, it fel like "now she’s doing strange stuff, and then they are at twilights and then they're...animals?

Just my suggestions, you write the story

6863644 So your original problem with the colour was the unexplained contrast to the regular black?
Pink can be a problem, but with some effort it can be made into a fairly readable hue, all depending on your screen. (I do have some experience with this issue on a more personal level)

Thanks, then I could add an earlier chapter where the conversation explains a bit of the back ground to the new Boutique? There has been a few canon scenes to the effect of showing clothes that would fit the category, and we have seen the material in an episode as well; so I am not breaking too much by this.

A full-body Tiger suit for Fluttershy could have very interesting implementations and consequences on the overall story here. I would need to figure out how she is to use it, before I make a separate chapter to her honour on this issue, but it certainly could work in the context. The Tiger suit could be used in a separate story on a connected issue as well.

Rarity would enjoy being on the cutting edge of fashion, so the more edgy could be a means to go there.

There is an anthro tag, but it wasn't intended to make them into animals in the fashion your sounded now. I did grant Twilight hooves and a muzzle, which should qualify as anthro?

Thanks for the suggestions, and I will. On that note; the idea is out for anyone to enjoy, you could even write your own story on the concept if you think you could write it better? I may have missed it, but I haven't seen a story on this yet. I am exploring the entire Equestria with my stories, so I guess I had to be first with something at one point or another?

6863679

" So your original problem with the colour was the unexplained contrast to the regular black?"
Yes.

"Thanks, then I could add an earlier chapter where the conversation explains a bit of the back ground to the new Boutique? There has been a few canon scenes to the effect of showing clothes that would fit the category, and we have seen the material in an episode as well; so I am not breaking too much by this."
Yes, I think that would be a good idea.

I don't think I have read anything like this earlier, so I think you will fill a gap.
The examples was not an attempt to do it better than you, it's just my belief that if you say "change this", you should provide some examples on how changes can be made. It's only fair.

"There is an anthro tag, but it wasn't intended to make them into animals in the fashion your sounded now. I did grant Twilight hooves and a muzzle, which should qualify as anthro?"
Well... that was how I understood the story, well, not that they turned into animals, but raher channeling them. They wanted to be animals. If they are human, then you don't need the anthro tag.

It's an interesting idea, and I think it can make an exicting read, but as i said, I think it could use more background.

6863703 The chapter will not show before I publish it, but I have set up one before the current time, while i may have more explained prior to the Boutique actually launch as well.

so I think you will fill a gap.

I enjoy filling a few gaps left by (head)canon, there is still plenty of juicy steaks left untended.

The examples was not an attempt to do it better than you,

I did notice that the statement did come out like a challenge, at least in the given context. If anyone does take it and writes a new story based on ideas they get from reading the story, all the better for everyone.
Thanks that is a good point. I do appreciate the suggestion, it opens up a few new avenues for the story and its adventure to take and explore.

If they are human, then you don't need the anthro tag.

I chose to add the tag to make sure I did not miss an aspect, and this was brought up in the opening chapter. Had I made this a sequel chapter, the situation would have been very different.
The character is changed as she is taking on the hooves and muzzle. If it is actually warrenting the tag, and at this point is a tricky question the mods will have to deal with. I can always take the tag down later, depending on where I take the story.

I think it could use more background.

This is exactly how I want to see the comment section used. You as the reader suggesting how the story could be improved. I have far too many stories, where there are no comments at all, or pointless and irrellevant nonsens to them. Since you like the idea, there is a chance I could make it enjoyable for you to read.

6863737 If I offended you, I assure you it was not on purpose, but my English is a bit stiff so I guess it Comes out harsher than I want to.
The thing is that I find it rude if someone says "you need to change this" , "well, to what?" "I dunno, just change it." At the very least you can give a suggestion... Well, that’s my opinion at least.
Glad I can be of service:twilightsmile:

6863786 Thanks, I need more readers like you, who express what they feel in a helpful manner.
That is a common problem with groups of commentators, but I fear it isn't limited to our site FiM. If it is in careless expressions or in the attitude of the people behind these comments?
Yeah, it is; and I am grateful you expressed it.

Login or register to comment