• Member Since 2nd May, 2013
  • offline last seen 10 hours ago

Gapeagle


Inspired to write when there's no time. Inspired to rest when there's time to write.

T

This story is a sequel to Harmony's Creed


"Nothing is True. Everything is Permitted."

"Chaos is Eternal"

I am A. K. Yearling. Some of you may know me as Daring Do. I am a Daughter of Chaos. I work in a secret organization that is bent on causing Chaos and Change. I was recruited by an ancient Assassin named Vinyl Scratch, who has been granted long life by our leader: Discord, the Lord of Chaos. Now I must fight alongside them, but I am not sure if I should. These aren't the noble Assassins of old.

In this unending war between the Assassins and the Templar, technology has advanced through the ages. The Brotherhood no longer uses cloak and dagger, but hacking devices. The Templar no longer pose as a crusading army, but as large corporate companies instead. It's always changing, but the goal is always the same. Everyone wants to rule the world.

Chapters (10)
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Comments ( 56 )

So begins the next epic story in this universe! Why no Scootaloo tag though did she die or is she not long for this story? Either way Loving the new story!

Wow two chapters already done! Great setup for your new story!

6953817 I didn't want to over flood the tagged characters. There's no "main Six" like option for the characters in it, so I added the three most crucial characters.

A few errors to quickly fix:

I am A.K. Yearling, some of you know me as Daring Do.

This sentence would work better as two separate sentences. As it is, that's a run-on.

or like how they call themselves now:

I know what you are trying to say, but this is a somewhat awkward way to say it. Another version might be "or as they are currently known:"

Being blindfolded and handcuffed, they took me to their HQ in Manehatten.

Who was blindfolded could be misconstrued as "they" or the Templar. "After blindfolding and handcuffing me" might work better.
(Had to check the tags to see if this was a human story, otherwise the handcuffs would make less sense.)

The Bearers of the Crystal Heart may have been explained in a previous story, but this is the first time they are referenced in this story, so some context is needed. How did Yearling discover these bearers, and how are they different from the bearers of the Elements of Harmony?

Hope this helps.

6956456 This is my first sequel, so yeah, I wasn't sure how much needed to me restated from the first story.I didn't feel like wasting 1200+ words just to describe what the Bearers are exactly. But I will take this advice into consideration Thanks :twilightblush:

This sounds good so far. I can't wait to read more.

6959108 Yay! :yay:

Thanks for the watch too! This is gonna be a crazy ride.

JMP

Great story so far. Though one thing I've always been wondering about your writing style is why you never seem to refer to the Templars in plural. It's always just singular "Templar". It doesn't detract from the stories, but it does distract me a tiny bit.

6959128 Both are correct. I use "Templars" when referring to multiple Templar members. I use "Templar" when referring to the general organization.

"There, the Templars stood."

"We fight the Templar."

JMP

I do wonder what shard that was. It'd be really interesting if it turned out to be Valor.

6960124 I would say "shush" but....no.

Keep that thought though

6960135
6960124

Shoot I was hoping it was going to be Valor. Still Vinyl has gone a little bitter over the years hasn't she? I wonder if Babs joined the Sons and became immortal or did she just live a normal, for a lack of a better term, life?

6960189 I'll say it now, Babs never became a Survivor of Chaos, so no. She will not be appearing here.

:moustache: "500 years of crap and such will do ya a number."

:trollestia: "Still nothing compared to me."

:raritydespair: "Or me!"

:scootangel: "I can finally get on here! Woo! Chaos! Kill! Woo!"

:rainbowhuh: "She took my swords! MY SWORDS!"

:twilightangry2: "Get out of here Rainbow and Rarity! We aren't in this story, remember?"

:pinkiehappy: "....Yet."

6960263

:applecry::unsuresweetie: We thought you where our friend. Don't you remember all the fun we had when we where younger? This isn't like you.

6960281 :scootangel: "Don't worry. We'll address you two soon en-"

:facehoof: "Scoots, shut up! This isn't how you do it. Just let them find out!"

:scootangel: "But-"

:twilightangry2: "QUIET!"

:moustache: "Wow, did being dead make you grumpy?"

:facehoof: "more than you know..."

6960301

Wait Scootaloo got to live through the hippie generation! Now I cannot wait to see her talk about that time period for her. Sorry Twilight I got to know and Scootaloo Pinkie Promise that it will remain a secret until the story says you can tell.

6960328 Don't worry, you'll get plenty on the previous times. :raritywink:

3 chapters already?! You spoil us.

Good to see Octavia going off the rails, but I think her jacked car will be found out before she gets back. It was cool to be rereading the story and see the new chapter pop up!

JMP

My hidden blades were ready, I was ready, and the manhunt began right then.

I thought AK only took one blade since she didn't feel like wearing two?

Kinda curious what Yearling expected when she joined up with the Sons of Discord, but it's actually kinda funny seeing her get frustrated with how differed the Sons are from the old Assassin Brotherhood.

6966474 Stop rereading! You'll find all my mistakes! :fluttershbad:


6966483 I wrote this chapter over like 3 weeks. So yeah, some inconsistences happen.

With Akay, it's expectation vs. reality. Now, her expectations were probably pretty low, but they weren't as low as reality.

:raritystarry: "Were we truly the finest generation of Assassins?"

:applejackunsure: "If we were the finest, I sure as Hell wouldn't like to know what happened before us..."

:twilightblush: "Heh, good point."

6967564 When I reread, I find the mistakes. They're there, trust me. :fluttercry:

Why does this story have a Sci-Fi tag, but not the previous one?

6973861 I did that because this one focuses more on futuristic hacking and stuff while the previous was more magic-based. (Also, the sci-fi tag didn't exist when the previous one was written.)

Great I wonder why Discord was influencing Yearling? (I got to get use to using her name, I kept writing Octavia) I bet it has to do with all the time she spent the elements and she may know something that Discord either wants to know or would rather be kept quiet. Great chapter and I wonder if Valor will be in Yearling's (I almost did it again) hand eventually?

6974496 Hmm....What to say...

:trollestia: "You're onto something kiddo, but what you're on? Who knows..."

:ajbemused: Apple Bloom I am disappointed in you. You went and abandoned all that I taught ya.
:raritydespair: Sweetie Belle I cannot believe you would think that I would want you to do this.
:rainbowhuh: Squirt did you do this because I was a survivor?

Now I feel sad because in the end the crusaders not only joined Discord but two of them died! The Spike cameo was cool, but why do I get the feeling that he specifically was there to get the crusaders?

6977955 :trollestia: "There are perks to becoming a Survivor, for sure. However, there are consequences as well."

:moustache: "Oh yes..."

6978045

So besides eternal youth what else is gained I wonder? Also Spike I hope you are more like Darth Vader then Kylo Ren in the bad guy department. So who else from the fall of the elements is still around, besides Celestia, Luna, Discord, Vinyl, Neon, and Scootaloo?

6978075 about 2 others....maybe three.

Wow that sucks for Limestone! Nice buildup for the assault, so why do I think it will go wrong but ultimately succeed because Yearling stopped listening?

7002179 :trollestia: "Twilight usually did her best when stopped listening."

:twilightoops: "That's not true!"

:trollestia: "You're right. You failed whether you listened or not."

:facehoof: "I can't escape this, can I?"

You know, I just had a brain storm about who this insane cracker is supposed to be. Based on the fact that Erebus seems to be made up of Town citizens, and the fact that she hates the current order, I'm calling it as Starlight Shimmer!

Also, how much longer until the Sisters are back on the scene? I'm still curious about what they call themselves/what they've been up to after all these centuries.

7007695 good job m8, r8 8/8

Don't worry, the Sisters are pretty prominent in this story. I'll try my best to explain all their endeavors and the modern Templars?

Celestia you better not fall into the trap that you know better. Having a lot of wisdom is pointless if you do not have humility. Now thanks to Discord I can guess as to why the Templars have so much control in the world, he let them get so big that he could cause even more chaos by letting small and insignificant attacks to some harm. Basically he is at a level where he is happy and nothing really changes.

7010642 :trollestia: "Are you implying that I don't know better?

:twilightblush: "That's what it seems."

:trollestia: "Hmm, well...I guess he has a point."

JMP

I had a feeling the two women were Celestia and Luna. Very interesting chapter. I hadn't thought to think about what the former Empresses were up to after they disappeared. Is it safe to say they're still alive by the time Yearling's story begins or is that just something we'll have to wait and find out?

7011303 Hmm....there's some evidence already. :trollestia:

Even before Innocent causality were mentioned I felt very conflicted on my feelings towards the characters. Vinyl as you probably already know was one of my favorite side characters from Harmony's creed yet she is in complete essence changed. I see glimpses of her personality and who she was before but time and the events that happened have changed who she is... what she is. Then we move on to this new order in general with how the approach problems. I cant find the quote (I'm pretty sure its either in a chapter ahead or before this one. Anyway the part I am talking about is when she is holding a military grade weapon and ponders on how they get the money for it only to realize that it was payed by other people through identity theft most likely. In this new modern world I can understand the need for change within the Creed or Sons of Discord but somethings are just to grey for me to be okay with. Is Chaos the true answer, and if it is how hard are they going to go to keep it running. The Assassin creeds game have almost always made you feel conflicted on what side you are on and right now I think that whoever wins this fight WE LOSE!!

- Predatornc

7032587 But there's another way!!!! ANOTHER WAY!!! *shouts to the heavens*

You may not this, but Buffalo people had Discord as one of their gods.

You may not know this, but I think a word is missing

7053521 You may now KNOW this, but you are a month late to my aid.

JMP

The dream also made me think, how much did this secret war cause?

Missing a subject. How much what did the secret war cause?

"Uh, Vinyl?" I asked. "You know you don't look like one that would be in a police force, right?"
"Yeah, I do," Vinyl shrugged

Nothing really wrong with that dialogue, I just feel that Vinyl saying "Yeah, I know" would sound better.

"She gave Tavi and I a tour of the ship when first joined Rainbow's crew,"

When who first joined Rainbow's crew?

I just get the feeling that Babs is still alive and working with Celestia and Luna. From what it sounds like only Vinyl, Scootaloo, and Neon are the only current survivors of chaos alive today. I do not count Discord as on as he is Chaos and the sisters are as well. Hopefully we can find out what happened to Spike soon.

JMP

Was Starlight in Cell Block B or C?

"Any clue where Starlight is?" I asked in my headset's microphone.
"In Cell Block B apparently," was the answer from Double Diamond.

Since we knew Starlight was in Cell Block C, we made no stops until we ran all the way there.

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