The world of Equestria has change over the pass millions years. The world of ponies has fade into stories and Unicorns, Pegasus and Earth Ponies has been known as imaginations of young children. But no one knew that the six heroines of the past were reincarnations into six normal girls. Twilight "Sparkle"Meson is a smart girl who is always pick on because of it. She really believes in the legends of Equestria while everyone thinks she crazy. One night she is visited by Princess Luna of the past and warns her that her time will be in great danger unless she finds the Elements of Harmony and their reincarnations bearers. Given a magic pen to become Sailor Magic, protector of Magic.
Twilight Sparkle-Sailor Magic, Protector of Magic
Applejack-Sailor Honesty, Protector of Honesty
Rainbow Dash-Sailor Loyalty, Protector of Loyalty
Rarity-Sailor Generosity, Protector of Generosity
Fluttershy-Sailor Kindness, Protector of Kindness
Pinkie Pie-Sailor Laughter, Protector of Laughter
This story is screaming for an editor
That's one of the tame lines I was able to point out. I'll admit, I mess up a lot when I write, but I always go back and read it a few times before I submit it. You really need to do that, so for now. A downvote, but that can turn around if and when I see improvement.
6729352 It been some months since I wrote something. So I'm a little rusty. But thanks for reading this story.
6729683
No problem, it was a good read
I like this story so far hope to read more soon
Unless Twilight is not supposed to be 16 then this line:
needs to be You're not 11 now.
6729800 Already fix that.
6729688 I fix what I saw, but saw nothing wrong with the line you told me about.
6729814
I said I chose a tame line, but here are the mistakes.
Have should be "Having"
For Bon-Bon for her birthday flows as well as a river with a dam blocking it. It should be "For Bon-Bon's birthday. Also there's a comma after "birthday" unless you don't mean to add "he said she said" after it.
Love sailor moon, and can't wait for more!
Love this can't wait for the next chapter keep up the great work
next few chapters
You need an editor. Fortunately, I'm here to lend you my services. Will you accept my offer? You can edit your stories through google docs.
7384500 Thank you, but there a problem with that. I have to sign in with my Google password and I forget it and I can't remember how to make a new one.
Love it, but it needs heavy editing in terms of been tenses, subject agreement, and homophones. Mostly your verbs and adverbs.
Good start, but the flashback scene wasn't necessary, not in its entirety, anyways. We read the first chapter, assume we remember most, if not all, that came before.
This isn't anime. No need for endless flashbacks.
Or a week to blow up a planet in 5 minutes.XD7397604 I just felt like adding a flashback. I'm sorry for the grammar, my Spelling Classes was different then what most people got.
7384722 Click on "Need help?" It should be under the sign in button when you try to log into google. If that doesn't work, PM me and I'll see what I can do. Or just ask the mods.
I thought for sure she'd have Jupiter's colors, not Venus'.
7660906 I'm going by the picture I found. I understand your thought though.
Hey, I can edit for you, if you want. This story is pretty interesting, but it needs serious help in the grammar department. I can knock these chapters out for you since I'm currently out of school. It might help you get more views. Not that grammar alone will get you any, look at my story.
But you definitely have a great thing going here, and people are interested.
7784000 I don't mind, but I'm heading to bed. I'll PM you in the morning so we can talk some more.
Awesome story so far can't wait till the next set of Chapters
I wonder how they would react if Discord revealed his canon form, if he's the same Discord from the past.
sunset shimmer-tuksido mask?