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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Holy throne, this just heated up! You sir updated with a BANG!
That was one hell of a speech from Phoenix there.
You tease!
Zodiac: Weird, I remembered specifically that I was the one who taught Celestia and Luna everything they need sans maybe the sensitive details.
Soul: Eh, who knows? Maybe he was their teacher when the two of us were gone to do some meetings with the King and Queen outside borders.
Zodiac: True, still I am liking the chances right now. I can see the ripples of time of the future ahead looking clearer as ever. With Mister Phoenix beaming with confidence, I can say that this looks to be towards a possible happy ending.
Adagio: Eeyup, and boy is he quite a handsome man... Makes me want to have fun with him and Twilight if it weren't for that old geezer.
Zodiac: Both Soul and Zodiac turn around to notice her Adagio? What are... Notices Sonata and Aria as well you three doing here? I thought you three were still there cleaning up my house, eating and playing around?
Soul: Zodiac? Are those the three Sirens that affected me and my crew during one of our trips to the Black Islands?
Zodiac: Well...
Aria: Why yes, we are pretty boy, and no I don't mean that as a sexual pun, you are really pretty. By the way, Adagio was the one who pulled us here wanting to try to talk to you. Not so sure why bring us in the first place...
Sonata: Yup, she said she wanted to ask you is it was a go...!
Adagio: Covers Sonata's mouth quickly while blushing Not... another... word... please...
Zodiac: Really Adagio? Was it really a good time to ask this when the fate of two worlds is at stake?
Soul: Ask about what precisely friend?
Zodiac: You do not want to know, it is a long story...
Soul: You realize that I listen to these kinds of long stories on a daily basis right? Come on, you can tell me, I won't bite.
Adagio: Better yet... Sl yet genuine smile Why won't we act out on your story, with all three of us aboard?
Soul: Huh? Brain is slowly thinking before sudden realization occurs Zodiac? Did you really...? Does gesture relating to said topic
Zodiac: Relents with a sigh but smiles regardless of circumstances Yes Soul... I have indeed do what you are thinking... with three three no less.
Soul: Is wide-eyed Wow Zodiac, I did not think you would do that... Tbe last time you did what you did was with a more that really loved you despite having a finite life. Is smirking now When did you start to pick on this habit?
Adagio: Who knows? So... you want to do this despite what you said?
Zodiac: Maybe as a celebratory one... Think you can wait?
Adagio: Yeah I can do that... Girls?
Aria: Sure, I don't mind...
Sonata: Me too! See you back home Mister Zodiac! They leave back for the EQG world
Soul: You really are something Zodiac, you know that?
Zodiac: Shrugs What can I say? I seem to attract the special kinds of woman these days...
Awesome!
Fuckin' A! This has gone on wonderfully so, to the point it gives me tingles~ I fucking love how ya'll wrote out Starswirl, he's so badass!
Hahahah, this is going out with a bang!
This is gonna be a messy ending methinks
Oh Spike, if only you knew, then again, Nightmare Moon would probably just find some other way of manipulating you and using your words to try to make Twilight surrender her heart to Darkness.
Actually, Twilight is more his older sister/mother figure/boss.
Well, considering Friendship is literally magic, kind of in the title of the show, I'd say it might.
He's now voiced by Patrick Stewart. What? It'd be epic.
Gee. I wonder fucking why?
He IS Patrick Stewart!
This is amazing.
So in the end, they won.
Were she more conscious, she'd be geeking out SO hard.
She's got a very valid point.
Ouch.
Basically.
Ooh! He's back in action!
For such a genius, Starswirl ain't that smart.
She's right.
*snicker*
Poor Phoenix
NICE WORK!
That's crossing the fucking line!
So, would it be fair, to say that it surrounds you, penetrates you and binds the galaxy together?
Such hypocrisy. Tell me, what's the view like from your FUCKING GLASS HOUSE, stone thrower?
Not a very good listener, are ya Maya? Then again, you're more emotionally vulnerable than usual, and you've been being manipulated by Nightmare Moon, so, guess there's that.
Careful Celestia, don't want to poke anyone's eye out with your smugness.
Ignoring that Starswirl flat out said that that isn't how it works...
Not exactly an easy feat.
If even Starswirl's clapping, you KNOW you did something right.
Oh for fuck's sake, WILL YOU JUST DIE ALREADY?!
BULL! FUCKING! SHIT!
Catch-22. Come on Phoenix, DO SOMETHING, You are the Turnabout Terror, the one who beat Edgeworth, Franziska, Von Karma, Pane, your whole SHTICK is being able to turn a case around no matter how bad!
*keeps finger over button that will play Cornered*
Ah yes, your traditional cliffhanger.
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We were going more for Idris Elba, actually.
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That works too. I'm just more familiar with Patrick Stewart.
Now that's the Phoenix I know.
I couldn't shut up on the parent doc this chapter came from. I was achieving levels of ADHD that shouldn't even be possible! I can't imagine this will go any better...
You're about as much of a dragon as I am a Viking. I know how it is though... every American White at some point wants to connect themselves with some ancient castle or mighty European ancestor with ancestry/DNA registration websites because they've been cut off from any actual connection to the place their ancestors lived by "muh egalitarianism" and "muh American Exceptionalism", which really amounts to "muh pending identity crisis because I live in a goddamn shopping mall filled with rootless, transient mercenaries instead of a country". Feels bad man...
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I have trained each and every day of those thousands of years so I could unleash anime justice on your ass! You have no honor!
I'm just saying, a true Australian puts prawns on his barbie, not shrimp.
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200% incorrigible.
This is how a badass handles his affairs. Nicely written! I can see why ShadowlDrago went with Patrick Stewart for this guy.
Pony LARPing time! Linky, and Twinkleshine.
I have some questions about that too. Is he standing on top of a major ley conduit or something? Because there's no pony alive today who could thread such a powerful spell without either multiple assistants to channel power into the spell or a fully-charged rune circle to feed off of to overcome arcane attrition and...
Well, he is dead. Maybe he cheated. It's what I'd do!
Normally, I'd knock such a suggestion down as ridiculous banter from a mare that's about as magical as pewter... but you kinda have a point there. Well played, fillyfriend. Well played.
Watch out, Twinkle! Soon I'll be takin' yehr job!
You have to go back...
Ah do naht!
Come, now! We have the best air-conditioned buses, Linky. Believe me!
Go boil yehr bonnie li'l heid!
It's not enough for you unicorns to take a look at each other's horns and get dirty thoughts? One look at yours and all I can think about is that ivory pillar buried to the hilt inside my...
She's pulled it off too! I wrote a paper on it actually...
The people can read about it later!
Twinkle, kin I have a foal?
Just as soon as I can figure out how to give myself a dangler!
How hard is that?
I'll be able to put myself into orbit around Tellus before I can figure out how to make the magical construct capable of fertilizing an egg. Sadly it's not as easy as firing magic into your vag and offering a prayer to Cadance.
Awww... Do yeh think yeh could really out yehrself into orbit, though?
Oh yeah! Weightless levitation is pretty tough, but I can manage it. Easy spell, very energy consuming. Pretty common spell for archmages to know. Certain skilled layponies have even figured out how to make it work over the years... telekinesis is extremely useful. Though I'll never be as good as Littlepip. Bloodbending is pretty freakin' awesome!
Imagine if I could summon up a blood dagger! I'd be able to field dress a wild boar in seconds and not need to carry around a single tool to process my kill!
I'd rather imagine something else...
Elsa can't handle the bantz!
Good, clean unicorn fun, if you ask me!
Ooooh filly! I've heard the human expression "trimming the hedges" but you've done scorched the earth!
I feel a chill just thinking about te wind whistling up there...
No sex this chapter, fillies.
There's not? Come on Lily, let's get out of here. <Roseluck delicately bites Lily's ear>
Ah! I gotta go!
Is that the "Arcane attrition" yeh mentioned earlier?
Right you are! Each times a new set of variables is added to a spell, especially ones that act upon objects, the spell's power diminishes. Moving, say, a quill through the air is no big deal, but the energy required rises exponentially as weight/distance and number of tasks are increased. Similar principle to how horsepower is lost between the engine and wheels of a car, but the cause is different. In magic and nature there are no perfectly closed systems.
Why hasn't our magic filled every known universe yet?
Patience, my blue friend. Patience...
Why Twinkle... why do you do this t' me?
The meme is also a cancer! First there was the meme and the meme was magic and 'lo it came to cover all the world in dankness. Such is the will of Kek.
You owe me one tonight, lass... Oh me heid!
<coughs up a pink spark> Ah that hits the spot!
Looks like The Nightmare is about out of road...
One more push will finish her off completely! Take courage, Phoenix Wright. We know yeh'll come through. Let's finish this!
Grab her by the pussy, Big Guy... Um... for you!
(sigh) Linky, yehr hopeless...
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You're welcome! And thanks!
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Thanks! Struggled with it for a while, trying to figure out just what he would say and how to have Starswirl cue him in. Think it turned out pretty well when all was said and done...
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Me, or the Nightmare taking Franny's/Maya's/Mia's form?
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As I wanna be!
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Tingles are good! A messy ending? Well, in at least one sense that comes later...
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You'll get him full bore in the next chapter! And find out what he can do when he's really pissed...
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Zodiac, you get more action in the afterlife than I do in real life... How'd you score the sirens? Then again, I'd think the Sirens would be unhappy to see Starswirl, given he banished them... of course, given the personality he exhibited in this chapter, probably the only reason he did so was because Adagio teased him about being called "The Bearded."
And Adagio expressing an interest in Phoenix and Twilight? Hoo boy. Between them Twilight, Maya, von Karma and Fluttershy, Phoenix is going to be a busy boy...
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Very nice comment! Thank you kindly, and have an equally long reply...
Considering he's got his own fears for her to prey upon, definitely. Then again, she might have been causing his nightmares to see if she could use him against Twilight later.
Yeah, but the Dream Guard works for Luna, and Luna is very big on proper titles. Not that Spike or even Twilight really has one at this point, so she just used a pair of them that might have worked before her banishment.
Well, that, and the fact it didn't seem right not to have him there. It was suggested by a prereader to include him, actually, and I decided the suggestion was a good one.
That it would!
The exact reasons will remain secret for now, but this is a case where one of The Nightmare's victims did bring some of it on himself.
You know, you're right... I can hear Starswirl's lines in Patrick Stewart's voice quite readily. Maybe we can get him to voice Starswirl when the finally make a movie out of this story!
Thank you!
Pretty much!
I imagine she will after the fact!
As poor as she was a prosecutor, Vinyl actually seems to be coming into her own as a defense attorney...
He's exaggerating some. They did learn from him quite well, but also rarely missed an opportunity to tweak him.
Which has some interesting implications not yet elaborated on. There's actually another reason Vinyl didn't notice it herself, which I may mention later. And as for Celestia never noticing even though she has had some humans take her as a pony over the years, including once on this trip... it's because she casts an enhancement spell on her lovers as a matter of course (otherwise given her large size, they're usually too small to satisfy her) and never had to see her mating aura do it for her.
Could hardly have him not! Phoenix shakes off stuff surprisingly quickly, both in court and out of it. The latter includes everything from a stun gun to a stomach punch... or even falling into a frigid and raging river from a burning bridge.
He's an arrogant jackass, but the princesses would tell you part of the reason they're teasing him with the situation so dire is he always knows what to do, whether it's dealing with their pranks or three powerful Sirens. He walks the walk. And they'd also say that despise his airs, he does have a soft side that every so often you get a glimpse of.
And yet you'll still find people today who insist it isn't so...
One of my favorite parts of this chapter is actually the interplay between him and the two princesses he once taught.
Indeed. This trial's doing a number on him, too...
Beware, Nightmare. You just had a small taste of Twilight's power. If she wakes up and turns it on you fully...
Benefits of being amoral and shameless. She sees a line, she doesn't just cross it, she obliterates it. Suits her both for shock effect and because she enjoys it greatly.
Somehow, I don't think Starswirl would be too impressed by the Jedi order. And I can just imagine a debate between him and Yoda.
Indeed. And Phoenix called her on it promptly.
All true. And stand by. She'll figure prominently in the next chapter.
Oh, don't worry. I plan to give her a rather interesting comeuppance of her own before the story is out...
Starswirl may have said that, but Phoenix has to believe it, and she's trying to keep him in doubt. If he doubts, Twilight will feel it and then she will doubt.
The better question is how she keeps her boobs contained both her regular and channeled clothes. Especially Pearls...
Ironically, the AA prosecutor he most reminds me of is Franny's father, Manfred von Karma. Minus the homicidal attitude and bullet in his shoulder, of course...
Be patient, my friend. The Nightmare ends this night...
Of course it is. But can Phoenix prove it...? Not just to her, but to Twilight?
Indeed it is... and how could I end this without invoking that?
Oh, you know that's going to be one of the music selections next chapter!
But this is the last one. The next chapter ends the trial with a bang.
7813204 Flaming Hadoken?
7813210 Zodiac: Let's just say... I found them homeless and all that. As I am a generous soul, I hated to leave them out like that even with the Battle of the Bands in mind. So I took them in and taken care of them, giving them food, a shelter and a way to feed off negative emotions being me and only me. I may not look like much but I repress a lot of negative emotions from five thousand years worth of pain and suffering to the point that the Sirens themselves say that I am a buffet to them.
They were happy with me and yet were caught off guard by me being this nice towards them. The only thing I said to them was "No one, no matter how evil they are does not deserve to live such a horrible life like you three. If they do not accept it, then I will not force them as it is their decision to do so, not mine." They were almost in tears (though Sonata did let them out) but they did not want to burden me as such. While they happy and wished to stay, they had a condition for their stay... Said condition was... well I'll let you think this one
As for the afterlife thing, I'm not dead per say, I can just visit the afterlife or as I like to call it, Elysium. Any time I wish to see my friend Soul, I can just visit and chat like we normally do. It's gets lonely being an immortal and such but it's the life I chose to live and while the pain is hard to let go, I have found more happiness than I expected
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Hohoho, I look forward to such awesomeness~
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I might use a remix of Cornered, but don't count on it... I don't like the original DS version. If anything, I'd use a remixed tune. Same goes for all the DS Ace Attorney tracks.
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We miss you, John Candy... and your in-character pointless anecdotes.
Actually, I do have some Swedish blood. Maybe that explains why I like Sabaton so much. As for the rest, that's a bit too cynical. Ain't nothing wrong with wanting to discover your roots; it's actually a luxury people living in developed and successful nations have when they're not worried about day-to-day survival. It can expand horizons and make you think, appreciate better how we got to where we are. What *is* wrong is denigrating your own history and story as a nation in the name of garbage concepts like privilege or patriarchy. Whenever people tell me that the US is an evil nation, my instant answer is, then why do so many people keep trying to come here, risking life and limb to do so? If our history and way of life is something to be ashamed of, then why do so many people who denigrate the former seek to partake in the latter?
It's cliche, but the only thing that immediately comes to mind is this:
If you ever want to offend an Aussie, take them to Outback Steakhouse...
Perfect picture! Captures Luna's smugness beautifully!
We'll have to have both him and Idris Elba read for the role when the movie is made!
Welcome, ladies! Want some popcorn?
He knows dream magic, regular magic, and can now apply the power of an ascended spirit and knowledge of the universe itself to anything he does. Benefits of being the pony equivalent of an angel and having 1600 years to practice his craft. Granted, he's a prima donna and a first-class arse, but he does well and truly know his shit. He's basically an upgraded pony version of House.
I hear that equine affirmative action programs are demanding that non-unicorns be considered for normally unicorn posts. For fairness and to fight unicorn privilege, you see...
Ah, true love... where you can insult each other freely and laugh!
I want this story!!!!!
You're thinking too hard, girls. All you have to is plant a suggestion in the mind of AJA! And such spells do exist, however, as you note a little further down, they can't be used for impregnation. But that's just my canon, not necessarily his!
Which begs the question of what her and Shining Armor's sex life is like... I actually like to think she rule 63s them both now and again!
Katara in Avatar: The Last Airbender did it first...
Hey Linky! Want to come over to my place for a wild boar roast for Christmas dinner? You supply the meat, of course... and I'll survive all the liquor you want!
Less for the fact he's human than the fact that she's a fillyfooler at heart...
And for non-unicorns, there are potions that have the same affect! And don't get me started on Zecora's alchemy...
A chill is definitely not the sensation Phoenix is feeling right then! Poor guy... even after he gets out of this, nothing can be the same for him anymore.
Gonna make your own sex, I see! Not to worry, Rose... more sex is coming. Pun intended. Including especially at least one thing you should very much like!
Which is why Twilight will despise the Harry Potter movies when she sees them for being completely unrealistic and utterly detached from magical conservation laws.
*rubs hooves together gleefully* I'm doing my part to spread it between verses!
Is Kek with pleased with my offering of this chapter, high priest AJA? Or is not triggering enough...?
Okay, maybe it IS triggering!
Is that the spark of love? Well, either way, the lighter on my stove is busted, so if you'll just be so kind as to cough one into my gas burner...
Hmmm... wonder what his Mortal Kombat finishing attack would look like? I'd say presenting his opponent with a bill for his services, but he hardly ever gets paid...
But you love her anyway!
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He was a greater actor, and an exemplary fellow. He just ate too goddamn much.
Not going to doxx myself with a link to my profile, but my ancestry-obsessed mother, talked me into getting my DNA looked at. I came out to 41% west European — colonizing your shit, bro! Watch out! 28% Great Britain — I like to think all of it is Celt because I do have a fondness for the barbarians of Europe. 16% Ireland — more Celts! Explains a lot about how I write Linky, doesn't it?
6% Scandinavia...
Hell yeah!
And an insignificant amount of other people's leftovers.
We agree to disagree. I'll admit, I was feeling a bit crappy when I posted that comment — a big reason I handed this chapter off to Linky and Twinkleshine so that my comment didn't turn into a complete shitpost. Looking back a day later, it does sound a bit 3edgy4me to be posted on a site about pony stories, but I retract nothing. Making money is not culture. Mindless pleasure is not culture unless you're a clopper, but it's tolerable because we're a subculture of a subculture and no one gets hurt). People are culture and we are a land without a people anymore. I do feel Trump is a step in the right direction and look forward to 4 years, hopefully more, of him kicking serious ass and taking names. And memes; can't ever forget about the memes...
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For Australian readers out there, Outback Steakhouse is a restaurant chain that serves "Australian" food to clapfat Americans. It's about as Australian as our Chinese food is Chinese. As in "not even remotely".
The idea of coming up with a magical phallus isn't too hard to imagine. Hell the sexual organs of men and women don't develop until 9 weeks in meaning they have unisex plumbing until gonads appear. A unicorn would be working with a partially completed task, however complicated. My issue isn't with the penis but functioning testes. That's going to be one hell of a trick...
Linky's point was inside the dream such details about magical conservation are meaningless. She has a point. If the only limiting function of the spell is power level, Starswirl could just use theory to get the job done.
Given the fact I can't even read FoE without complaining about the political implications on the universe, rereading Harry Potter would probably cause me to hulk out and destroy my office. What an awful, awful view into the mind of J.K. Rowling Harry Potter is... I went too hard on Fallout Equestria in the comments...
Yeh know... if we stuck to the rules of the dream, an earth pony would be able to just conjure up one of them sexy horns and exercise magic if she was well versed in the theory... We probably should organize and demand entry into the Dream Guard! I've spent enough time reading in Canterlot Library...
You are so deported!
No lefties got thrown into dumpsters. You set the precedent friend, you can only go to increasing lengths to surpass it!
So that's where Kkat got it... It was a neat improvisation of telekinesis, gotta admit...
They came into their own as characters during my last post. I have to use them in a story now! Speaking of which...
You got it! I'm going to write this. A one-shot.
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Explain...?
WOO! more twiwright perfection!
7813204 You. For the cliffhanger.
Is most of the text in this chapter supposed to be green? : ?
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Dammit. No. The site redesign broke it. I'll fix it when I can.
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Fixed all the trial chapters. I’ll have to go back and look to see if there’s problems with the remaining ones later.
You're saying THIS...with Phoenix Wright present. You are screwed! Phoenix has a knack for delving deeper than anyone else and discovering the real truth, regardless of how labyrinthine and deeply-buried it is!