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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Oh boy... My head is so baffled with all of this right now...
Um, yeah, say you own a dog. That dog is real.
Your head's in the guillotine socket, Nightmare. Your head will roll tonight.
Yes.
Who else wants her head to literally roll?
Oh no.
Here here!
Phew. I wonder, how intense would this be for actual lawyers reading this or people with actual legal experience I wonder?
*Blink blink* OK then. No comment.
I won't.
Well, they agree on one thing.
Little oddly is one heck of an understatement.
I can imagine.
Nice shot!
Wise move.
Ooh! That's a good one!
Oh that's not nice! What a cliffhanger!
The googledoc comments weren't as hilarious this time. To be honest, I felt like I went kind of edgelord at times. That's the problem these days; I want to write and be mister nice aficionado, but I just feel so damn edgy and this chapter really brings it out of me. There are too many stupid normies eating tendies, watching Netflix and being completely useless while the world comes apart around them. Goddamn normies!
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No ponies today because I'm too edgy! REEEEEEEEEEEE~!
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Show me were on the plushie the bad tendril touched you, Twily!
Gladiatorial combat ain't got nothing on watching TwiWright in action!
Shows you how much you know, Moonie. I'm still alive and I'm not experiencing anything! Psh! Stupid Nightmare...
What's a book? You mean those things I keep on a shelf to display status but will almost certainly never actually read?
Thanks Princess!
You know, it's a crime I can't link an appropriate NSFW image to this line.
Despite his warning to Phoenix, it would seem Luna is really getting the worst of it here.
Yeeeaaaaaaah... That's just a Baskin-Robbins of wrong right there.
Not only isn't NMM a union Shopkeeper, she isn't even in the union. Equestria insists on being a Right-to-Work dimension. Filthy scab!
This is really the fulfillment of the SJW worldview: a situation where the accused is guilty until proven innocent despite the fact that neither party can truly confirm consent and no one had a goddamn contract signed and notarized before going in. Actually that's not completely true. In the SJW's dream scenario, consent can be withdrawn later.
Cloplestia is bestia.
Try as I might, I'll never be able to out-libertine you, Firesight. You really will do absolutely anything!
He's cross-examining the man in the mirror. He's asking him to change his ways. HEE-hee!
And that's basically the take-home message of the chapter. Consent begins long before the action takes place and isn't always verbal. If two people get drunk and bang, feel bad all you want but it's not rape.
AJ the drug-dealer? What's next, Applejack stealing a car?
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Yes, that's a thing.
Bend over, prosecution!
Even better: Phoenix and Twilight being a Fighter/Rogue and Mage respectively. In a gladiator arena. Fighting off Xenomorphs, or some similar monster.
Phoenix vs Fauxnix was some good stuff.
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I think it's hardly a spoiler to say that she's not going to win, yes. It's her comeuppance that's the trick.
Currently twenty chapters and 160k words long!
That's pretty much the reaction I was going for!
In all honesty, I haven't quite decided on Fauxnix's fate yet. I've certainly got plenty of suggestions, though...
Good question. Then again, real courtrooms are generally nothing like this.
Celly's not Molestia (anymore), but she does still have some of her kinks! At least give her some credit for seeing to the needs of others first and not letting her more base desires get the better of her. That's the difference between her now and her about eight hundred years ago...
But I am planning a little surprise for her. Stay tuned!
I don't think anyone will at this point! But still haven't quite figured out his end yet...
Thanks! Can't quite claim credit for it since I've already heard other people call him that...
Excellent. Then everyone's left wanting more... and I've got the perfect segue into the next chapter! Expect to finally hear what happened that night... and not just with Phoenix and Twilight!
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Whatever it is, please let it be Phoenix who does it.
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Well, go with what you're feeling, my friend. You shouldn't ever feel you have to comment in a certain way, or even comment at all. Besides, there really wasn't much in this chapter for your usual two crews to comment on. But not to worry, R&L will have some interesting things to talk about starting next chapter again...
Not quite that kind of story.
I can imagine a few of the Romans making thumbs-down gestures when it comes time to decide Nightmare's fate!
Ditto. part of the reason I write.
Quaint, aren't they?
She's just showing why she's best princess!
You'll have to send me the image you wanted to use separately.
In fairness, she wasn't bringing them together for herself... at least not to start. Poor filly's been a bit pent-up since she returned from exile, after all! And actually, she was equally worried about her prospective apprentice, and wanting to make sure she had the best chance possible. But darn it, what they did was just so hot...
But which of the 31 flavors?
That's how evil she is! She won't even pay her demon local union chapter 666 dues...
I wish you were wrong. Part of many reasons so many men are just going Galt, they have no rights any more and are always assumed to be guilty, especially in college la-la land. I'm very happy I went to school twenty years ago and not now, even if the overall experience wasn't pleasant. Long story.
I have plans for her before this story is out! Be afraid, Celly...
I'm not quite as shameless as the nightmare, but I'm up there definitely. I take this as a compliment, and but more so that I like to think I can do anything and make it work. I further like to think that this and UtM are evidence enough of that!
Yepyep! I'm really going to have to figure out a suitable end for that Man in the Mirror, though, since everyone seems to thoroughly hate him by now...
Stop your mansplaining! How dare you suggest that the girl or women be responsible for her own choices and actions!
And somehow, I'm not surprised... she'd probably have gone bad and ended up jacking carriages if there was no rainboom and she ended up staying in Manehattan!
Prepare to be reamed as only Rarity can... Hoo boy. The next chapter is going to be a doozie... Very tense and very naughty! Among other things, we're going to finally find out what happened the night of the party... and not just with Twilight and Phoenix!
would basically enhance everything from the punch’s flavor and alcohol to the deepest desires of the pony—or person—drinking it! Have enough of this and you’d lose all inhibition and good sense… and wake up with a hangover from Tartarus the next day!
Do in other words Pinkie's special punch is the Equestrian version of the Pan-Galactic Gargle Baster?
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Indeed, since she's dead, a literal guillotine wouldn't do much to her. Pity.
'S a good book.
Which makes her a fantastic villain, you hate her because of how despicable she is.
Oh I'm sure.
True. In most courts, most sides are just doing their jobs, nothing personal, here there's 2 Laywers on each side, and one's a demon and the other being essentially Phoenix's worst traits combined into one fake with Twilight being traumatized and one step away from making the biggest mistake she could possibly make.
Fair enough.
I await with steepled fingers and a dark chuckle.
If you wanna go full circle with his being a fake, you can go with Fauxnix WRONG.
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Stay with me now! Stay with me! roundstable.com/forums/images/smilies/flail.gif
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Be assured, there is method to my madness... but hope you enjoyed the chapter all the same!
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Perhaps that could be a dream sequence some time...
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Glad to know people like him! Or hate him, I should say...
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I think Fauxnix has garnered enough reader hatred that folks won't forgive me if Phoenix doesn't deal with him at this point!
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Another reference I had to look up! Not quite that involved for Pinkie to make (except for the zap apple ether), but I'm pretty sure I'd rather have her concoction than that!
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It's the next chapter that will really test him! The clop returns full force...
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If I leave my audience speechless, that usually means I'm doing something right.
7377617 Even better: Phoenix and Twilight being a Fighter/Rogue and Mage respectively. In a gladiator arena. Fighting off Xenomorphs, or some similar monster.
Well, this is a Twilight who imagined Phoenix in a suit of armor AND as a Pegasus, in separate dream time fantasies...
...She probably would dream this up. Possibly.
7377617 Yeah. You know it's bad when there are volunteer groups dedicated to rehabilitation from Pan Galactic Gargle Blasters.
Hehehehe, damn good chapter man, damn good chapter Frigging Pinkie Pie... always the strange sorts.
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Sure, I'll accept corrections, thanks. If you want to read the trial, feel free, just be advised that as the story is M-rated, parts of the trial are too. Warning notices are posted at the top of the chapters where they occur.
This battle is TIGHT! Someone get a commentator!
... So in spite of previous statements, I'm reading this again. Not due to recent hospitality, or to prove a point, but simply because I owe it to you. Regardless of what I think of it presently, there's no doubting that you interpreted something in such a way that I was able to enjoy it despite its clear problems. And even if it means an all-powerful demon's resurrection comes at the price of an elaborate Tommy Wiseau impression, and it truly has been set up from the beginning, perhaps there is some merit in whatever reveal would come to pass. I place one Haydn face down and end my turn.
You know, as bizarre a position she been placed in due to the circumstances of the plot... I actually kinda like Nightmare Moon. Despite her one-dimensional ends, she's three-dimensional enough to understand her lot in life, as well as others'. She can parse between black and white, and see the different variations between. I suppose you could say... she can see 50 Shades of Grey (hurhurhur).
Okay, okay... I have to know. Does anyone else picture the Bullshit Evolved version of Phoenix whenever he talks?
No, just me? Alright.
Dahahahahaha! It's just too funny picturing him with that voice! It's like all the conviction and seriousness in his voice just turns into a bunch of petty whining!
Don't worry, he turns into more of the straight man further down the line and gets WAY funnier.
... You know how some people get "Nam flashbacks"? I get Diaries of a Madman flashbacks... so painful to read, so many hours of unlikable unlikability [sic] and whining about getting raped I'll never get back.
Hey look, something that isn't copying Redd White, I'm impressed.
Anyways, see you next chapter.
7375225 You're not the only one....
Everypony's cute! Even I'm cute, non? But in purple, Ah'm stunning! (passes out)
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Pretty much! In fairness, I'm trying to give Trixie a good treatment here. She's still herself--well, the 'herself' she was in TAS--but I think she's also showing a definite aptitude for being a judge here. As Phoenix will later note, she does have a talent for cutting through the crap and getting to the heart of the matter.