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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Youre So Awesome
I love how this is practically THE biggest middle finger ever to Blueblood.
Congratulations on being featured
Knighting him basically fucked blueblood in the ass. Hahahaha
Well, I certainly will be tracking this; you've earned a thumbs-up from me. It helps that you've posted so much at once, I'm actually invested in this a bit. Though I'm not that hip to the anthro tag, you've created an interesting world. I look forward to more.
- Azarias
YEAAA!! SUCK IT PRINCE BLUEBALLS!!
How many ways can one spell "Gary Stu" before it becomes a cliché?
Cool story, can't wait for the next chapter
Holy mother of tags. I can't even begin to understand what this story is about.
6135195 Thanks for pointing that out.
6135492 Not really. He'll get thrown into a blender later that kicks his ass. The whole knighting thing was Luna's way of kicking Blueblood in the balls.
I'm sorry that the story doesn't interest you. Although this is just the beginning of the story.
6135584 The reason the story is boring is simple: clichés. You have used too many of them.
6135629 Could you give me some examples?
6135643 I'll do it tomorrow, with links to the tvtropes pages. I'm on my phone right now.
6135654 Alright. I just write what I believe would be fun. But as I said, Adrian will get his ass handed to him later.
6135741 There are no Gryphons in the Equestrian borders. In this Equestria, Gryphons aren't friends with the other races.
I'd like to start out this comment with saying, I quite like this fan fiction. finished all of the available chapters without even knowing it. Yet, I have one complaint, the pacing. For example the main character seduced Luna in the span of a week or two. That is very fast, at least for me, I don't know about you, but I'd flesh out your characters a bit more. Explain and describe events more. Give feelings and emotions that real people'd feel. Like when Luna confessed to Adrian, when she kissed him specifically, that scene would've been better if described. Like if she were aggressive or timid during it.
6135826 Yeah but during that one week Adrian treated Luna like a friend while everyone else avoided her. That was what made her confess to him.
6135888 Ah thanks. I tend to make it a habit to let readers know what he has on him at the start. As you said, it's readers preference, I like knowing what the character has on him at the time of introduction
6136159 Yeah I noticed I'm pretty good at combat scenes then anything else. But practice makes perfect, I'll just have to keep writing and improve myself.
god DAMMIT, these problems are just getting solved as fast as they come.
there's nothing WRONG with have a problem take a few chapters to solve man.
6136303 Oh. I have a big something planned that'll take a few chapters to solve.
6136326 sorry, its just that the whole banishment thing and breaking an ancient law problem passed so quickly, gotta slow that pace down man.
6136365 Luna saw an opportunity to stick it to Blueblood. I thought it was good... But yeah, next time I'll play it out.
s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/736x/df/d4/fe/dfd4fee8b212c100e10efb6efe77159a.jpg
I joke. It wasn't that bad.
May your story ride eternal, shiny and chrome!
6137389 He can't go full five elements yet. He knows about other types of spells but can only cast beams, novas, sprays, walls, weapon enchantments and Armour spells. He can't cast mines, storms or resistance aura's yet. And his mana is low. Shining Armour still kicks his ass during their sparring matches. I tried to make him weak compared to what players can do with the full array of powers they have in the magicka games. And he has been learning magic for six years...
Imagine how OP he would be with infinite mana. constant casting of spell after spell and just heal constantly. should I give him the meteor storm spell?... I think I nerfed him pretty good.
6137448 i understand but hiw you are portraying in the first chapters appear to be one. Though with ur explanation doesnt llok anymore i thinj you should explain that in your story so people will not get the wrong idea.
6135741 dude....
Thats the lamest reason to give a downvote honestly
You still have issues with rushing through plot points, but I do give you credit for the counter to Blueblood's move. Very nice, I appreciate a character like that. A nice change of pace from the usual way such things go about.
6137653 Yeah, I'll admit I tend to rush sometimes. But I'll try to future events last longer.
6137495 Yeah I'll add what I just told ya to a authors note on the showing off chapter, that might help clear things up.
6138149 Well more like he can't be manipulated by unicorn magic easily. He did get hurt from that unicorns magic bolt in the hospital. And it took considerable strain to heal rainbow which made him exhausted.
Damn! Ended in one day. Why Celestia?!?!? WHHHHHHYYYYYYY?!?!?!!
Sweeeeeeeet Upate soon bro.
hehe bet blueblood didnt expect that
I like the story , but I realized why he kept rubbing me the wrong way. Since the Manticore he really hasn't done anything. Inserting a quest to recover the armor and weapon would have made it pace better, as well as giving Adrian a chance to earn the title.
Eat it up bitches~
Comrade it's a good story so far but the sword part kinda annoyed me not to dislike it of course just annoy me see blades can't be too light or they'll never actually cut anything the weight gives it that extra weight to cut like how a axe is so heavy that makes it easier to split wood but anyways no hate just saying and you don't need to change it
Didn't Luna say that she wishes to court him? I find it unlikely that this law would go both ways.
AHHAHAHAHAHA
GET FUCKED ON, BLUEBLOOD, YA CUCK!
Meanwhile in blue bloods mind the song of how culd this happen to me plays
7397867
ahh people liked the comment I mad yay
aaaaaand there's that Political uppercut straight outta left field! GET FUCKING DESTROYED BLUEBITCH~!
8578174
Foul ball
8578174
Prince Blueballs
9131705
Bluedick
6135584
Figuratively or literally?
9375796
fig
9376236
I like figs... They're so delicious
6135711
I dont think cliches are a bad thing really, i mean cliches werent invented to be them in the first place, it just that they happen so often cause they most likely will happen in real life aswell.
World without atleast some amount of cliche is not really that realistic.
I actually like how the whole courting law wasn't drawn out, it shows both Celestia and Luna to be able to effortlessly out politically manuver Blueblood without really thinking too hard on it, which is expected they are very old after all.
Furthermore although this has a lot of cliches that's not a bad thing, it all matters how they're executed.