• Member Since 10th May, 2013
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Urimas Ebonheart

Writer and Spriter. Consider supporting my Patreon! https://www.patreon.com/urimasebonheart / Discord: https://discord.gg/UTGGSEx

Comments ( 2482 )

6130346 Ah, thank you. Had to swap the comedy tag for it though xD

I just read all 10 chapters in one go. So far its good, I will be waiting for more.

6130387 did you post all those chapters at once :trixieshiftright:

Holy shit, this is amazing. :D


Full Treatment. Something tells me that this might not end well

It is rare that i read more then one book from a singul person on this site and, i hardly lev comints unless it to correct grammar. You now how to draw your readers in I wood like to see more of your work on this story and the others.:moustache:

6132664 Wow. Thanks for the encouraging comment. I didn't think I was that good. I'm currently working on the next chapter right now and should be out by the end of the day.

this story is so awesome :D i love all the magic combos! makes me want to play magicka

Your description of the character makes me think about my battlemage from Skyrim. way he casts spells and such. Other then that, well done. you gained my full attention. Let's see how long you will be able to keep it that way.

Impressive, yet I find the healing spell still a bit OP. But you did well not to make it a Mary Sue as you make it a really taxing spell, well done.

Simply amazing, you keep surprising us with your crafty combat scenes.

6133152 I play way to many RPGs and MMOs...

I've always been fond of the combination of frost and arcane elements
I like the blue laser

Sadly I only have wizard war's I would like to play the others but I have no money.

My set up is super defense

I take it that you've never played magicka? you would know why the healing spell is so strong if you play it.

I have a feeling of what's going to happen next

6133317 If you're thinking of 'happy times' I won't add that till much later as the relationship(s) grows deeper.

Well at first i was going to talk about how you kinda rushed this relationship between Luna and Adrian. But I got to thinking about all the factors in this. 1. Her banishment. 2. People still avoiding her and fearing her. 3. Retreating into emotional safety when you feel like no one likes you. 4. He is from a faraway place and will not judge her for her past. My only complaint is back when Celestia says "You are in love" In my opinion a better thing to say would be "You have a crush"

Nope never played it. Is it a good game?

6133319 Okay then, my guess is off by a longshot

6133388 Nicely said. The bond Adrian will get with Celestia will happen later down the timeline. And how it will blossom will be epic! *rubs hands together with an evil grin*

I love how this is practically THE biggest middle finger ever to Blueblood.

Congratulations on being featured

Knighting him basically fucked blueblood in the ass. Hahahaha:rainbowkiss::rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh::yay::trollestia::moustache::twilightsmile:

Well, I certainly will be tracking this; you've earned a thumbs-up from me. It helps that you've posted so much at once, I'm actually invested in this a bit. Though I'm not that hip to the anthro tag, you've created an interesting world. I look forward to more.

- Azarias

The Manticore stops writhing and glares at me, until it saw the boulder the size of my head floating with energy radiating from it.

A rock the size of a human head isn't nearly big enough to be a boulder. Now if you meant a rock the size of a manticore's head maybe, but a human head definitely not a boulder.

I'd say you need an editor, but your grammatical errors are few and far between. The problem you have is simple: your story is boring. You hit every cliché, they're anthro, etc. The only redeeming factor about this is the Magicka part.

"I'm afraid I can't do that. We don't know what you are or why you we're so well armed."

It should be were not we're.

6131210 You seem like the kind of guy who'd say that.

Shining Armor makes the rule glancing blows don't count in the middle of the fight. If you specify the rules before you can't change them in the middle of the fight. It's like children changing the rules in the middle of a game. It's not fair and whether they meant to say it, or not you don't get to change the rules retroactively. It's poor form. Aside from that I've enjoyed the story so far.

6132664 The sad thing is that I honestly can't tell if you're joking or not.

"I'll have to ask shining about it later. So what plans do you have for today?" I ask.

You forgot to capitalize Shining.

YEAAA!!:rainbowwild: SUCK IT PRINCE BLUEBALLS!!:rainbowlaugh:

How many ways can one spell "Gary Stu" before it becomes a cliché?

Cool story, can't wait for the next chapter:pinkiehappy:

Holy mother of tags. I can't even begin to understand what this story is about.

6135492 Not really. He'll get thrown into a blender later that kicks his ass. The whole knighting thing was Luna's way of kicking Blueblood in the balls.

I'm sorry that the story doesn't interest you. Although this is just the beginning of the story.

6135584 The reason the story is boring is simple: clichés. You have used too many of them.

6135643 I'll do it tomorrow, with links to the tvtropes pages. I'm on my phone right now.

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