Sunset felt like she was literally on fire. She looked like it too, her red and gold hair shooting off her head in twisting spikes and cowlicks from nervously running her hooves through it over and over again, mixed with the non-stop sheen of sweat that had clung to her since she took a sip of that Faust-forsaken coffee. She rocked gently back and forth on her stool, clutching her mug of extra strength sleepy-time-tea, trying very hard not to squeeze it too hard and shatter it like the previous two she'd been handed. Shakily, with more of it ending up on her coat than in her mouth, she managed to take a small sip while staring fixedly at a nearby wall clock.
Luna on the other hand, was staring at Sunset, a grimace creasing her face. "This is bad Joe, what do we do? What do we do!?" she whimpered, wracking her brain for any ideas. "If my sister finds out I pretty much poisoned one of her Proteges as a joke, it'll be back to the moon for sure! Oh and not to mention, I think she's pretty much my best friend. I made a best friend, and then I killed her, killed her Joe!" she moaned, grabbing Joe by the collar of his apron and shaking him back and forth.
Joe was content to let her finish marehandling him before lazily rolling the cigarette he had just lit between his teeth and pulling a sheet of paper from beneath the counter. There was a protocol to these kinds of situations.
Politely show other patrons out of shop - check
Lock all doors and windows - check
Administer soothing teas - check
Clean up mug shards - check
Find secret pack of cigarettes your wife doesn't know you still have - check
Chain smoke until all is well again - in progress
Thank Twilight again for making and laminating this checklist - TBC
After reviewing the list he took a long drag from the cigarette, sighing as he exhaled. "Try not to worry too much Princess. It's never killed anyone before. She hasn't even gone into shock or a coma, so I think we are pretty much in the clear." he soothed while laying a hoof on Luna's shoulder, his calm tone a strange contrast to what he was actually saying.
"You really think she'll be ok?" Luna asked hopefully.
"I think I finally understand string theory properly..." Sunset muttered, still staring unblinkingly at the clock.
Luna's eye twitched.
Joe sighed again, pinching the bridge of his snout with a hoof. "Look, the way I see it, you've got two options. The first, we keep her here for a bit, until we get enough tea into her that it's safe to cart her back to the castle, then you lock her in a guest room for a couple days to sleep it off. She'll probably be bored out of her mind and hate every minute of it, but you know she'll be safe. The other option is....well..." Joe hesitated, figuring what he was about to say wasn't exactly a good idea medically, but then again this was a Princess he was talking to, she'd be responsible, right? "...so she's chock full of stimulants right? A lot of them. The way I see it, put enough depressants in her, and I figure it'll counteract the effects...maybe..." he finished with a shrug.
Luna bit her lower lip as she frantically tried to process both of Joe's suggestions. She would be safe in the castle, but she'd probably hate me for locking her up, and you of all ponies know what that's like...but would force feeding her drugs really be better? Even if she didn't get mad about that it wouldn't exactly be safe... What could I even give her? Depressants, depressants, let's see here...
Barbiturates? Terrible idea...
Opiates? Worse idea...
Cannabis? Too hard to find in Equestria...
Wait a minute...
Her eyes widened as she realized the perfect solution. She could save her new friend from the awful side effects of her poorly thought out prank, and maybe even have some fun together in the process. "Joe! Where's the nearest bar?"
Author's note: This is not how drugs actually work, like at all. Please do not attempt this.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
On one hoof, Sunset was feeling much better now, on the other, she was also feeling fairly drunk as she tossed back yet another shot, placing the empty glass back on the table next to its five similarly empty friends. She let out a satisfied sigh, a dopey smile drifting across her muzzle. "What did you say these were again?" she slurred, struggling to focus her vision across the table onto Luna.
Luna finished taking a dainty sip from the tall, colorful drink in front of her before fixing Sunset with a mischievous grin. "Something that will hopefully get you back to normal...and one of the only substances capable of getting Tia properly drunk, but that's beside the point."
Sunset giggled in response, wobbling a bit in her seat. "If the goal was for me to feel normal then I probably should have stopped after the first two!" she bubbled, before slumping forward onto the table and closing her eyes, a happy smile still plastered on her face.
Luna took the opportunity to silently cheer and pump a hoof in the air. "I can't believe she's asleep!" she whispered to herself excitedly. Getting this far hadn't been the smoothest process. Luna got enough looks when walking down the street as it was, and levitating a pony behind her in a straight-jacket made of what was clearly Luna's own magic hadn't really helped matters. "I think I deserve a little reward..." she continued to whisper as she scooped up one of the few unfinished shots from the tray next to them. Luna had made sure plenty were on hand, figuring the little unicorn had to pass out eventually. With a victorious grin, she quickly poured the tiny dose of alcohol into her mouth.
At that same moment, Sunset's eyes shot open and she grabbed onto one of Luna's hooves. "LUNA! I need your advice!"
To her credit, while she came very close to unintentionally spitting the shot she had just taken all over Sunset's face, Luna instead managed to forcefully swallow the now burning liquid before giving a slightly exaggerated gag. Recovering quickly and shoving aside her disappointment that Sunset was not in fact safely passed out, she let her curiosity take over. "I'd be happy to help if I can, what's the matter?"
"Well it's...I...I..." It was fairly apparent that Sunset was stammering from something besides inebriation, as her cheeks changed from the light pink of several drinks to the bright red of flustered embarrassment. She wasn't really quite sure why she felt compelled to tell Luna, but advice from her other friends hadn't really helped much, so maybe it was time for a new perspective. "...I have a crush on somepony!"
Luna nodded slowly, not really sure if she was supposed to be surprised that a healthy mare in the prime of her life had a romantic interest in another pony. "Go on...?"
Sunset swallowed hard, nerves managing to cut through some of the haze of alcohol that had made her brave enough to even start the conversation. Realizing she was in too deep to turn back now, she decided it was best to just rip the bandage from the wound. "I think I love Twilight Sparkle!" she squeaked, hiding her face in her hooves immediately afterward.
Mischief sparked back into Luna's eyes as she listened to Sunset's confession with an only slightly evil looking grin. "Twilight hmm? That's a shame, had I known you were interested in mares I might have asked if you wanted to be my consort rather than if you wanted to be my friend," she teased, giving Sunset a dramatic wink.
Sunset gasped as she immediately sat straight up in her seat, gaping at Luna in surprise. This general state of shock seemed to persist for a few seconds until something finally snapped in her mind. "Alright look, give me like two more of those drinks and we can totally make out a bit later if you want, but for now, how am I supposed to deal with this Twilight thing?"
It was Luna's turn to blush as she briefly tried to figure out if Sunset was teasing her back or was serious, but after a moment she gave up on that line of thought to address the question at hoof. "I'm not sure I understand what the problem is," she admitted with a shrug. "As far as I know you get along pretty well and have plenty in common. I'm sure you'd make a fine couple."
Sunset gave Luna an annoyed look. "Seriously? You too? Why is it every time I tell one of my friends about this they're like oh you two will be so cute together, when's the wedding? It's never oh don't you live in different worlds, or oh isn't Twilight interested in that Flash guy, or oh even if she doesn't like that guy anymore, she apparently likes guys. I just wanna get past these dumb feelings already." She crossed her forelegs with a huff as she finished.
As she listened to Sunset's arguments, Luna found herself smirking yet again. "Well, frankly I think you are worrying over nothing," she said confidently. Sunset just raised a brow, prompting Luna to continue. "For one thing, the pair of you are the most clever and intelligent ponies I've ever had the pleasure of meeting, and if you really wanted to be together, I don't think you'd let being in different dimensions get in the way of that."
Sunset could feel her scowl slowly dissipating as she listened to Luna, but she was far from convinced she should abandon her plan of getting over Twilight in favor of one to pursue her. "I-I suppose, but that doesn't exactly change the issue of her orientation, or her current interests."
Luna rolled her eyes before placing a hoof on Sunset's shoulder. "Trust me, I've had to excuse myself from enough of Twilight's weird dreams about my sister to know she has no qualms about being involved romantically with the fairer sex, not to mention..." Luna lowered her voice to a conspiratorial whisper. "...it has been quite awhile since she has had any dreams about Flash Sentry at all." Was it a lie? Yes. Did Luna care? Not at all, especially when she knew Twilight was dreaming of Sunset fairly often as well.
Sunset had spent so long telling herself she had no chance whatsoever that the tiny wisp of hope she was being handed had made her feel practically giddy. "You really think I have a chance?" Luna just nodded, giving her an encouraging smile. "Maybe...maybe I should try and tell her...ugh but I get so nervous, even just thinking about it!" Sunset pressed her hooves to her temples. "Why is this so hard!" she whined, trying to review all her thoughts and feelings about Twilight, at least until a stray thought distracted her. "Wait, you can see into ponies' dreams?"
"Yessssss...?" replied Luna, not sure why doing so suddenly made her feel very uncomfortable.
"How often do you walk in on somepony...y'know, doin it with you?"
"...more often than I'd like to admit considering I've only been back in the public eye for a few years...to say nothing of the times when it's the old me"
"I bet you've seen some weird stuff...ever stuck around to watch?"
"CAN WE STOP TALKING ABOUT THIS PLEASE!?"
Or, you know, put her in a coma, give her a seizure, stop her lungs/heart, or possibly kill her.
Mixing depressants and stimulants is bad.
I'm liking this LunaSun ship! Can we have some more?
6209451 To be fair, Joe did reflect that medically speaking it was a terrible idea.
But yeah, as a general rule kids, don't do it.
6209451
6209513
I should probably add a disclaimer shouldn't I...
Well this chapter sucked all my enthusiasm for the story out the window. From comedy to hardcore shipping in the blink of an eye.
6209451 Also that, yes.
No!
(Exclamation because it's the same tone of the Autor's note there. But seriously, no.)
Lol, so much shipping...
6209526 Mayhaps, I would hope most people know that's a terrible idea, but it wouldn't hurt anybody to add a quick "For the love of god DON'T mix stimulants and depressants" XD
Oh I like where that went, and it is funny.
I, for one, would like to hear more on that last subject.
Another enjoyable chapter. Great job. The Adventures of Luna And Sunset could be a fic all on its own.
I'm expecting Sunset to need a life flight to the hospital any moment now as her liver shrivels up and dies. Or you know, her heart stops from all those stimulants and depressants.
This chapter mad me laugh congratulations!!!!
I'm more of a Sunset/Twilight ship, heh, oh wondering if she seen Pip's dreams?
Nothing shameful of course, bet he dreams he a pirate rescusing the Princess Luna in a grand addventure.
You are a very responsible person for adding this.
I've never pulled a spittake with ice cream before!
I see my question has indeed been answered quite thoroughly.
Great chapter!
My doctor doesn't allow me to have caffeine any more, due to digestion problems.
Suddenly, I don't mind so much.
All the ships.
Man... That's definitely awkward for Luna... Walk into a wet dream starring herself doing it like rabbits in heat.
Or is it?
Perhaps she pops in all 'The fun has been doubled!' and joins in on the action!
6209838 Not the first time I've seen this subject broached.
It always amuses me, though it no longer surprises.
I'm not hearing a "no"~...
Might I recommend for your consideration that wonderful alchemical beverage known as Irish Coffee? (Only replace the coffee with espresso, and the whiskey with something a bit more... reckless? Say Kraken 94 proof black spiced rum? with perhaps 1/2 oz. Irish creme? Yup, dat works... ) [Discalimer: For ages 21 and over only...]
Buuuuut seriously.... what happened with the socks?
And also...
That... I just... WHY HAVE I NOT CONSIDERED THAT BEFORE NOW?!?!
First few times- Well at least ponies aren't afraid of me anymore. Next dozen times- Okay, these ponies are beginning to creep me out. Next half dozen times- I do NOT make those facial expressions!
What I wanna know is, is that did they ever make-out in the end?
Missing the 's' in "Author's"
6209996 Next half dozen - WHY DO THEY ENJOY SEEING ME CAPTURED BY CHANGELINGS!?
next half dozen - Wait, diapers? OH DEAR SWEET SISTER!
next half dozen - I'm unfazed, I've seen it all. wait, what are they doing with that WHAT IN TARTARUS WHY ARE YOU ROLLING ME UP LIKE A CIGARETTE!?
The only reason I know Luna's seen some weird shit is cuz my own dreams get pretty trippy
Okay that whole bit at the end... I am so glad I wasn't drinking and/or eating anything while reading it.
I'd thought of the awkward side of Luna's dream walking before but like others here I'm surprised that situation never crossed my mind before now.
.... Just XD to the ending of this chapter.
6207169 More like a component of a story. I've already got the fic posted on here. It's called The Royal Fillies. Go ahead and give it a try.
Hehe Sunset is clearly feeling the effects of the day. Wonder how she will react tomorrow when she realizes she told Luna about her crush?
Good work.
what a fun and fantastic story bravo to you . cant wait for thenext chapter!
6210258
So, while I am enjoying the whole sub-plot of Sunset and Twilight Sparkle, roughly 1/3 of the word count of the story is focused on this. I'd almost suggest making it its own story, or to back off just a little bit, as the focus of this story is supposed to be on P. Celestia in Equestria. Two Intermission updates in a row is a bit against that, and the fact that you do have a 2:1 story to intermission ratio as far as chapter count goes means that we're going to be juggling two stories within one published story.
Now, my personal opinion on the above matter aside, I do like the story, the notion it is presenting is interesting. It's just that I came here to read about P. Celestia in Equestria, not Sunset Shimmer having a crush on Twilight. Tis all.
6205776 Bionic Teenagers Interrogating Lithuanian Councilmen. It was a futuristic political thriller.
(Big Trouble in Little China, lol)
I've actually had dream sex with Nightmare Moon, as well.
Yes, really.
It was pretty hot. Very animalistic.
The only other one was with Apple.............................. Bloom....
What, Luna!? It's an honest question.
... I'd so stay around to watch, even try and participate.
6209922 That comment reminds me of the Trollestia staged canterlot invasion comic...
I'm definitely not somebody who would point this out, but using alcohol and or any method of depressant is indeed insane yet extremely dangerous idea, and if this was in a "Everything Wrong With" scenario I'd definitely count this as a sin...
+1 Sin
Wait, no. Scratch that, make that ten sins!
+9 Sins
Other than that it is indeed a good chapter, and awkwardly funny as well!
P.S. I wonder if anypony counted sins on other fanfictions as well...
Eh pretty sure a lot of us are damn guilty as charged.
Luna: ":D"
Luna: ":("
Luna: ""
Thanks for the mid-chapter authors note. We were close to shouting at that moment....
6209838 Well now, an ice cream spittake is certainly something unusual and probably funny to write about... *indistinct scribbling of pencil on paper* There! Added to my List of Things To Include In Writing!
...I just realized something. All of the chapters end with a yell. I... I think.
YAY its so hilarious
6210579 That's actually been bugging the hell out of me. I really want to separate them into two separate stories(thus the separation between normal and intermission chapters in the first place), but I don't know how without one or both of them losing a lot of flow and context Part of the problem as well is I don't exactly plan my stories out ahead of time, I just sort of write as it comes to me, chapter at a time, so at this point I'm not even sure where either story is going lol. If anyone has any ideas on how they could be properly split I'd be very grateful!
Ah, Klatchian coffee therapy. Being knurd is no picnic, even in a magical land of pastel horses. Really, being anti-drunk there might make you see the Hasbro logo everywhere...
(But yes, as has been noted several times over, bad idea outside of a fictional context.)
In any case, with these various developments ongoing, I can't help but feel you've rather lost the track of the story. I'm sure you're going somewhere with this, but two consecutive intermissions have undermined the initial premise by quite a bit. It's an enjoyable read, just not the one advertized.
"Ah, Twilight and mini Celestia sleep together, how cute!" luna squealed making Twilight Sparkle and "principal" celestia faces turn red as a tomato.
"Uh... we literal sleep together, nothing else."
6211719
Trust me, I can understand. It can be really easy to have a hard time focusing on just one story, or I should say the plot of. However, you have to try to keep the story on track the best you can, and remember what you set out with writing. As 6211740 said, it isn't that it's bad, because it is quite the opposite, but you've got to refrain from mingling so many plots that you overshadow what you advertise.
Trust me, I had the same issue to some degree with my first story. It was a TwiLuna romance story, but for some reason I thought it'd be a good idea to also have a bunch of other ships in the story. I did a bit of harm to myself, but the intermissions were very limited, so in the end it wasn't too bad.
I would recommend moving the intermissions to their own story, even if it takes a lot of tweaking to do so. It's strong, interesting, and would make for a good RomCom, but it just doesn't belong here. As for how you approach writing, I do much the same thing, so you simply need to stop and remind yourself from time to time what your story is supposed to be about, it might help. You're going to have to write some more to fill out the intermissions to their own story, but (And I need to double check this) I don't think removing them would require much, if any work, on this story's end.
If you want to discuss this more or have further questions, feel free to PM me. This is a promising story, and I'd love to see it set back on the rails.
What bothers me the most about this chapter is the idea of tobacco being as readily available in Equestria as in RL. Surely there's no way Princess Celestia would permit highly addictive poisonous rubbish to be banded about like sweets. Fermented vegetable products and unprocessed herbs with medicinal properties are another matter, though.
I was going to write something else here, but then I reread that final line. Twilight Spergle wrote a list and it was help? Wait, what? Double-checking says it's doesn't, but maybe this story ought to have an Alternate Universe tag too.