21: Tall, Dark, and Horseome
Cadance trotted slowly through the hall towards the throne room, her eyes narrowed dangerously and her hooves landing heavily with each step. A more rational part of her mind was wondering where her husband had disappeared to, and noting the castle seemed suspiciously abandoned, but she wasn't really listening to the calmer voices in her head at the moment.
Reaching the large ornate doors that separated the hall from the throne room, she slipped back onto her haunches and stared daggers at the handles, waiting for somepony to open them and announce her arrival, as usually happened. When the doors just stayed quietly closed instead, Cadance found herself quietly growling as she reared back with a forehoof, pistoning it forward with a sharp crack against the wood, causing the doors to wildly slam open as if attached to some kind of automatic mechanism, if such mechanisms were powered by explosions.
The boom of an angry alicorn punching doors caused a collection of ponies hiding on a second floor balcony that overlooked the throne room to jump in fright.
"She, uh, she still sounds pretty mad..." Luna pointed out nervously, double checking to make sure the magic shadows she had conjured around them all were still effectively hiding their perch from view.
"Yeah, it can be pretty tough to snap her out of it when she gets like this." Shining agreed, nodding his head as much as the ropes that still bound him to a chair would allow.
"No kidding..." Twilight groaned, both hooves currently covering her face in a mixture of fright and exasperation. "This is even worse than the time you convinced me to 'borrow' her diary for you when I was a filly."
"Dude!" Sunset hissed, giving Shining a narrowed look from her spot next to his chair. "A girl's diary is sacred, I wouldn't even steal them when I was at my worst!" Then her expression morphed into an admiring grin. "Props, that's ballsy. Did your evil plan work out like you hoped? I bet it did! Man, I shoulda at least tried it, could've gotten so much dirt from just one!"
Shining opened his mouth to respond but was cut off as the pony he was talking to was suddenly pulled into a rather heavy kiss by his sister. "Uh...ok then?"
After a few moments Sunset pulled back with a gasp for air, leaving her panting slightly. “Uh...Twi?” She managed to mumble weakly.
“Sorry...” Twilight squeaked, her muzzle flushed. “I know it’s terrible...but you know how it effects me when you get all...” her sheepish grin turned hungry as she practically purred “...mean-spirited.”
“Yeah ok, suddenly it makes a lot more sense how you two got together so fast.” Shining muttered to himself.
“Hey! Shhhh! She’s about to reach the thrones!” Chrysalis hissed urgently, directing all their attentions back to the pink princess crossing the room below them.
Cadance had indeed stalked across the room as they had all been distracted, and was casting her eyes suspiciously around the room, at this point looking for any pony to direct her ire at, even if it wasn’t one of her targets. “I know sompony’s in here! I can feel it! Just get your flank out here and let’s get this over with!” She fumed.
Just as the shout finished echoing through the cavernous room, Celestia sauntered out from behind her double’s throne, a confident grin on her face. “Well hello there beautiful, I’ve been waiting for you.” She said, batting her eyes at Cadance as flirtatiously as she could.
Cadance stopped in her tracks, her eyes going wide as she took in the unicorn before her.
Celestia was adorned in the Princess’ regalia, though this time it been shrunken down to fit her properly. Further, her mane had been enchanted to flow in a nonexistent wind, though it couldn’t quite attain the celestial appearance of her Princess counterpart. A dozen other magical effects had been cast over her as well, replacing any need for makeup or primping. She had to admit she felt even more fabulous than she had the night of her date, and if she was reading the mood right, Cadance was appreciating it as well.
For her part, Cadance was blinking her eyes owlishly as her jaw hung open, and she had plopped down onto her flank seemingly in shock. She squeezed her eyes closed and rubbed them vigorously with her hooves before staring one more time in disbelief. Finally, she snapped her mouth closed, blinked one more time, then threw her head back and howled with laughter.
Celestia’s seductive gaze immediately flipped to an unamused frown. As she watched Cadance fall onto her back, kicking her hooves with mirth, she realized she had not been reading the mood right.
“Ohhhahaha, stop! My stars, it’s too much!” Cadance gasped in between cackles as she rolled on the ground.
“This...is not what I expected...” Twilight muttered from high above, pointedly ignoring the looks of disappointment on the faces of her marefriend and brother.
Taking a few deep breaths, Cadance managed to finally get herself under control and pull herself back up into a seated position.
“Are you done?” Celestia asked with an annoyed huff, crossing her forelegs.
“Y-yes.” Cadance stuttered, before immediately letting a hearty giggle escape her lips. “Ok, snrk, that was it, now I’m really done.” She managed before letting out a relieved sigh. “I’m sorry, you’re just such an adorably lame body double! Please tell me there’s a little purple filly around here somewhere with cardboard wings taped to her pretending to be Twily!”
“I’m not a body double! Ugh why did I let them convince me to go with the princess schtick! Shoulda known it wouldn’t land.” Celestia groused.
“I’m sorry! I thought it’d be cute!” Came Chrysalis’ disembodied voice from somewhere near the ceiling.
Followed by Princess Celestia’s voice. “Don’t worry love, it was cute.”
Ignoring the voices, Cadence gave Celestia a more serious appraisal. “So if you’re not a body double magically made to look like a tiny version of my aunt, then why do you look like a tiny version of my aunt?”
“I am so sick of being called tiny, I’m pretty tall compared to most of you ridiculous horses!” Celestia muttered, feeling a little silly that she even bothered to defend her stature. Back home she hated it when people pointed out her unusual height.
“Ooooookay...” Cadance gave her a confused look. “But you still haven’t answered my question, who are you?”
“I’m Celestia. I uh...came through the mirror." Celestia offered with a shrug, knowing it wasn't much of an explanation.
"The mirror?" Cadance asked, wracking her brain. "Oh wait, the one Twilight went through? That leads to that kooky parallel world?"
"Yes, that one." Celestia grimaced, biting back some indignation at a pink pony princess calling her world kooky.
Cadance nodded in understanding. "I guess that makes sense. So you really are Celestia...kinda."
Celestia was about to retort but both paused as they heard the sound of hoofsteps drift in through the still open and slightly mangled doors. Turning to face it, they spotted a shadowy and slightly menacing figure approaching through the hallway towards them.
"Oh what now?" Celestia groaned, but her lament stopped short as the newcomer came closer and out of the darkness.
"Anybody home!" Tempest Shadow called out as she got near the throne room door. "Twilight? Are you here, Spike said you were here?" She stopped short as she caught sight of the two ponies in the room. "Oh, hey Princess Cadance, Princess Celestia. You trying out some kind of regular unicorn disguise spell or something? I like it." She offered casually.
"Oh, hi Tempest." Cadance offered a friendly wave of her hoof. "This isn't..." she began, gesturing towards Celestia but stopped once she looked over at the white unicorn, who was busy staring intently at Tempest as a light pink colored her muzzle. A grin quickly spread across Cadance's face and she had to resist the urge to hop up and down like another pink mare was known to do.
"Listen, do either of you know where Twilight is? I brought her that artifact thing she sent me after, and I'm supposed to deliver it right away." Tempest cut in, not really paying attention to either of them and instead looking around for any sign of her employer.
"Umm, she's around here somewhere...why don't you go check some of the other rooms real quick?" Cadance replied, giving Tempest a glance before returning to watching Celestia watch Tempest.
"Ok, sure." Tempest gave a shrug before heading towards the back door of the throne room.
Celestia continued to stare dumbly as Tempest left, audibly gulping as the mare turned and gave her full a view of her flanks, even covered in armor as they were.
Cadance waited for Tempest to disappear through the door, then closed it gently with her magic, her eyes glinting with excitement. "Alright, you can all come out now!" She called out towards the ceiling. "I've decided I'll forgive you, under a few conditions!"
"NAME IT! ANYTHING YOU WANT!" Came a collective shout seemingly from nowhere.
"First, I want the whole story of how this all happened, obviously. Second, I want a detailed and very embarrassing play by play of Twilight's first night with her new marefriend...I assume it's a marefriend." She explained with a giggle, before grimacing. "Auntie, you can keep yours to yourself, I don't need anymore weird sex nightmares." Shaking her head, she pushed on. "And finally, I call dibs on this whole situation down here." She said as she gestured towards Celestia and the door Tempest had left through.
"I...wha?" Celestia mumbled, still in a bit of a haze.
"Deal!" Luna called back happily, her horn lighting up and dissipating the faux shadows to reveal a collectively embarrassed Twilight, Sunset, Celestia, and Chrysalis, as well as the bound Shining Armor.
"Really Auntie, Chrysalis?" Cadance asked with an arched brow, finally catching sight of them above her. "I thought you hated her?"
"Oh I do." Princess Celestia growled, giving Chrysalis a half-lidded stare.
"Isn't it great!" Chrysalis practically squealed with glee.
"So weird..." Cadance sighed, before then looking over Twilight and Sunset. "Wait, Twily isn't she the one who..."
"Yeah, yeah, I stole her crown," Sunset huffed, "like I told your husband, I totally apologized for that."
"Hey, I'm not judging, just don't bully her too hard. You can tell me all about it later." Cadance offered with a smile and a wink, causing Twilight to go red. "Now as for you..." she sang as she turned back to Celestia. "Tempest had quite the effect on you, is it the scars?"
Celestia had mostly snapped out of it at this point and awkwardly scratched at the back of her neck. "So maybe the whole damaged goods thing kinda does it for me..." She admitted with a pained smile. "Apparently it's sorta going around."
Overhearing this, Twilight and Princess Celestia both had the good sense to look embarrassed, while Sunset and Chrysalis gave each other bemused looks while gesturing to themselves with their hooves.
"Well then, as the Princess of Love, I think I might be able to help you out." Cadance said airily as she stepped closer and threw a hoof over Celestia's withers, guiding her out of the room. "Why don't you come with me and we can talk all about it!"
Watching the pair leave, Shining Armor let out a relieved sigh. "Well that went about as well as it could have I suppose. Shame about not getting to see Cadance make out with another mare though."
All ponies, and one changeling, present nodded in agreement besides Twilight, who opted for another facehoof.
"Say, can somepony untie me now?"
Being arguably the best with ropes, Princess Celestia began attempting to free her Guard Captain with her magic, while Sunset turned towards Twilight.
"So, who was the girl with the broken horn? And why did she come all the way to Canterlot to find you?" she asked curiously.
"Wait did I not tell you that whole story, where all of Equestria was temporarily enslaved by another nation?" Twilight asked, cocking her head to the side.
"Uhhhh...no, I don't believe you did." Sunset answered dryly.
"Huh, weird, well I'll explain it later. Anyways she's Head of Security at my castle, but it's kind of a boring job right now, so she spends her free time searching for magic artifacts and stuff, keeps her from going kinda stir crazy." Twilight explained.
"Wait, Head of Security? Not Captain of the Royal Guard?" Shining interjected from his chair.
"No, she thinks that title sounds stupid and old fashioned, so I let her pick her own." Twilight shrugged.
"What!? Urk!" Shining's indignation was cut short as a rope yanked around his chest.
"Sorry, pulled at the wrong spot." Princess Celestia muttered, biting her lip in concentration. "Sunset, I think you may have gone a bit overboard with these, I can show you how to do it properly if you like."
"Uhhhh...yeaaaaaaah maybe later..." Sunset answered hesitantly, trying to stave off mental images of what her mentor and Chrysalis got up to behind closed doors.
"As I was saying, she's been a big help with finding and securing potentially dangerous artifacts. She's a little intimidating at first but very nice once you get to know her." Twilight continued, before briefly looking around, as if to check for eavesdroppers, "Don't tell her I told you this, but her real name is Fizzl..."
Twilight flinched suddenly as a cold shiver shot down her spine, timed to the moment the door to the balcony creaked open behind her, revealing a pair of glaring emerald eyes floating in the darkness beyond.
"MY NAME IS TEMPEST SHADOW!!!"
So I’m sure many have noticed by now that the time line of this story compared to canon is totally screwed up. It’s an unfortunate side effect of writing a story with no real master plan and doing it over the course of 3 years. 
I’m just gonna continue to abuse the “time works different from one side of the mirror to the other” loophole 
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Principle Celestia and Tempest. I can get behind that.
9122705
Ehhhh I'm not so sure, but I guess I don't have any better ideas.
I waited SEVEN months for the next chapter, nearly going insane by checking my tracking folder everyday and now that you posted this chapter, I only have this to say.....
IT WAS WORTH WAITING FOR THIS CHAPTER!!!
Awesome.
Works for me, but does it work for Fizzy?
I am not sure how that's going to work, with her supposed to be on the other side of that mirror and all, but why not? :P
They should troll Cady a bit more about whatever Chryssy and Tia are doing. Perhaps something along the lines of this...
(top middle panel)
Nice to see it's back, and damn it was worth the wait.
9122705
Unexpected, but a pleasant surprise.
Feel your pain, bro. Several years and 50k words in and you’re all like ‘well this doesn’t gel with the new season at all’
Whoa! Fizzle...I mean, Tempest Shadow? So totally unexpected. Which makes it great! I'm just a little worried about how she'll take it when Celestia goes back through the mirror.
Then again, maybe she'll go with. Then again, maybe not. She's got a job here she's well-suited for, so maybe they'll settle for a part-time, magically-long-distance relationship, where they visit through the mirror when she's between adventures.
as the author you can do as you please, and as a reader of this grate story i say keep it up this defiantly works.
9122901
or celesita the human one find her counter part in human worldf who most likey a scard merc
So, everyone is a lesbian, except for Cadance, who is with Shining Armor, who wanted to see his wife getting some lesbian action.
Lol, this is the epitomy of a fimfic story. Keep it up!
Huzzah, it lives! You are officially better at updates than I am. Have a mustache cookie!
Err... Shining? I heard you have an 'open' marriage... but shouldn't you keep this kind of thing out of others' earshot? Most importantly, your sister?
9122705 I dub this ship Celestial Tempest!
Well that went well. I just wish they had more misses with Cadance. I loved seeing her get trolled in the previous chapters.
This was worth the wait!
Sure it is, honey. Just wait until you get older.
9123037
Considering the fact that there's an entire fanon where the Sparkle family has annual incestuous orgies... that was hardly the dirtiest thing he could've said in that situation
Well the plan went well, even if it went an all different route.
Tempest is now thrown in these shenanigans. Let's see how more crazy this can go.
Canon schmanon! I want my eight way ship! If you need to break time and space, then do it!
This is really getting interesting now, especially now that Tempest has made an appearance. I do have one question though. I know Princible Celestia was ordered to take some vacation time, but is anybody wondering where she and Sunset have gone to. A little perpesctive from the other side, if only a brief paragraph, would be appreciated.
Tempest just walks in like: "...what the hell is going on?!"
Sunset: Are your ears burning?
Tempest: NO.
Tempest is going to be a hard sell. Here's to hoping Cadance doesn't mess it up...
Keep going! ;)
9123232
wait, what?
9123232
There is a story like that... AND I HAVENT READ IT?! *Faints*
Wait, wasn't Chrysalis with principal Celestia?
9123825
Lol you may want to go back and review chapters 15-17
9123825
No. At first it turned out that way, but what Chryssie really wanted as Princess Celestia. And during that mess of a date night, things ended up going that way properly, with the Principal passing Chryssie off onto Princess Celestia who apparently gets a real kick out of dragging the big bug down to her sex dungeon.
These events going on without Cadence's approval or intervention is what caused them all to be hiding as she ran around in a rage looking for them so she could get in on the shipping.
9123886
Huh, that happened. In my defense that was around two years ago
9123916
Hah, yeah can’t really blame you, I’ve been really dragging my feet with this thing
9123471
9123682
Yeeaaaahh... just search "A Zeppelin Named Desire" and you'll find the entire raunchy thing... not going to comment on how I found it, but it's definitely a thing
Does this ship even have a name? Tempestia?
9124299
...am I the first to ship it on fimfic? I didn’t quite think of that...
Indeed.
Get a room.
Ya done?
You would be behind this.
MLP is WEIRD.
Wait, WHAT?
... Weirdo.
HAH!
Yeah...
So, don't ever call her that.
9124306
I honestly have no idea. I don't really read that many stories where Celestia gets shipped. Have only very rarely seen Tempest Shadow in fics. May look into it later.
Principal Celestia and Tempest Shadow....
Luna: At least you’re not the one having to view them.
Why did I want Tempest to come out of nowhere, smack Twilight across the muzzle, and scream out,
”I’m Rick James, bitch!!!!”
9124299
It does now. Good job.
9124335
Ponies are weird. Girls are weird. Everything is weird. Just sit back and laugh.
Methinks that you are trying to incorporate to hard the more recent events
9122901
Considering the number of Equestrian artifacts likely dumped in the EG world, Tempest will probably have to commute there regularly. I predict shenanigans. Or explosions. Or both.
Shining Armor, just suggest it. THIS version of Cadance would probably be like, "Challenge accepted."
9122741
I with you but you do knew this mean we most likey going to have to wait another 7 month for the next chapter,
hmmmmm I wonder how tempest as twilight head of security going to react to sunset and fact there a mirror portal to another world in the place she in charge of keep safe, she may go try and remove it as it being too dangers to keep
9126074
Ceiling Fizzle sais: ohai! I can has artifact for sparkles?
Basement Shadow sais: Nun shall kno of mai secret identity! Is top secret.
... We are doing LoLCat parodies, yes?
Yeah, the Principal is definitely into the bad mares!
Come to think of it, it looks like Princess Twilight is too!
9124299
Hmmm... TempTia? CeleShadow?
... well, I'm fresh out of ideas.
9135203
Fizlestia
9137550
Hmmm... could work.
Q. My story has massive continuity issues. How do I resolve them?
A. Blame one or more of the following:
• Discord
• Star Swirl
• Starlight Glimmer
• Midnight Sparkle (It's the fabric of time and space, after all.)
In any case, the madness continues. Wonderful to see it play out. I look forward to more such insanity.
9155305
I already read those. I’m talking about the characters of parallel universes ending up in this equestria.
I hate this version of Cadance, she is a bully.