8: Big Trouble in Little Canterlot
In a quiet little hallway in Canterlot Castle, nothing was happening. Nothing had been happening there for awhile, with no one but the occasional guard or servant passing through. Had the hallway been capable of having an opinion on the matter, it might have felt somewhat sad and neglected by this, however, it didn't, as it was a hallway. Really though, it was a moot point, as a door at the far end suddenly burst open in a flair of magic, revealing a pair of ponies trying and failing to stifle a great deal of laughter.
The pair practically bounced their way to the center of the hallway, with a large ball of multi-colored cloth objects floating in tow behind each of them. Taking a deep breath to try and quash her laughing fit, Luna surveyed the hallway pensively before turning back to face Sunset. "As far as I'm aware, this is the least used passage in the entire castle, so if we do it here, it should be awhile before anyone notices," she explained, a malevolent grin slowly growing on her face. "You take the left side, and I'll do the right, oh and remember to save the especially risque ones, we'll be needing those later!" Sunset nodded dutifully, giving Luna a sharp salute, causing the Princess to giggle. "With such a crisp salute, you should have joined the Guard rather than becoming my sister's protege," she teased.
Sunset brought a hoof to her chin, her head tilting slightly, as if deep in thought, before shrugging. "Nah, I'm not sure I could pull off the helmet," she said with a lopsided grin, "too much hair."
With that the pair set to work, pulling socks of various shapes, sizes, and colors from their individual piles and artfully placing them around the hallway. A suit of armor found itself with four mismatched socks over it's armored shoes, while a different set now had a helmet plume made up of several different shades of red sock. A nearly priceless painting, now framed by socks, a golden candelabra, now a golden sockelabra, a potted plant, now potted socks.
Before long, they had finished their task, and stood at the opposite end of the hall from where they had entered, surveying their work. "I like what you did with that statue, the sock works much better than that leaf did." Sunset complimented, giving an expression similar to a member of the Canterlot Elite appraising a glass of wine.
"Why thank you, though it pales in comparison to your work dear Sunset. Recreating stained glass with overly starched socks was simply inspired." Luna responded, flawlessly imitating the various art critics she had met in the past.
The two sat on their haunches for a few more minutes, just looking over all they had accomplished, but eventually their facades shattered and they collapsed into a pile of snorts and giggles. "We...we need...t-t-to get out of the castle...right now!" Luna managed to gasp between bursts of laughter. Sunset could only nod.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
After stashing their remaining sock supply in the Royal Gardens, Sunset and Luna had headed for the city itself. The trip had taken them a little more time than expected, having to stick to back alleys and lesser used streets in order to avoid extra attention, but eventually they found themselves standing before a building that Luna claimed was the most important in the entire city after the castle itself, Donut Joe's.
"...A donut shop?" Sunset asked with a rather baffled look. "Luna, I'm sot sure understand the significance," she admitted, giving her newest friend a questioning glance and rubbing the back of her neck somewhat awkwardly.
For her part, Luna just stared up at the sign hanging over the shop's door with an enormous smile, the sort of smile you'd only expect from a foal opening birthday presents. "Indeed, a twenty-four hour donut shop," she explained reverently, "one that just so happens to make the strongest coffee legally permitted in Equestria...and yes, before you ask, my sister did not deem it necessary to regulate such things until I returned and learned what coffee was..." she admitted with a roll of her eyes. "Anyways, this place is practically a shrine to the glory of the night!"
"If you say so, though a cup of coffee would be nice." Sunset conceded with a tired sigh. "It has been a very long day so far, even with all the fun we've been having."
Luna smiled and used her magic to pull open the door. "Wonderful, well then, beauty before age," she said gesturing towards the door. It was a phrase she had heard recently and quite liked the sound of, especially considering her age. Of course, she didn't fully understand the connotation, but nobody had yet attempted to explain it to her.
Sunset however, had no idea about any of this, and as such held her head down to conceal the very confused blush on her face as she passed through the door and into the brightly lit donut shop, Luna following close behind.
Almost immediately, a large, tan colored pony behind the counter perked up, giving the two a knowing smile. "Well wouldja look at that, a real live Princess, in my shop...for the 10th time this week," he joked, giving Luna a wink.
"Oh fie to thee, pastry monger! Cease thine oafish mocking and bring your Princess tribute!" Luna shouted, despite a similar smile spreading across her face as she scampered up to the counter and onto a well worn stool. While Luna had nearly mastered the modern dialect of Equestria by this point, she had learned much of it while sitting at that very counter, and bantering with Joe using her old tongue had become something of an in-joke between them.
Sunset approached the counter and took the seat next to Luna's just as Joe returned, placing a large mug of steaming coffee and a navy and white frosted donut down in front of the Princess before turning to Sunset. "And what can I get for you miss?"
Sunset glanced at the menu, but not before catching a whiff of the coffee that Luna had ordered, a scent which immediately caused her to give a reflexive happy sigh. "I think I'll have what she's having, please."
Joe gave her a disbelieving look, one brow raised high above the other. "You sure miss? That coffee ain't exactly norm..."
"This fine lady can have anything her heart might desire, including your head on a pike you insolent whelp, so sayeth the Princess!" Proclaimed Luna in mock fury, before grinning toothily at Joe.
Joe gave a sigh before rolling his eyes with a grin. "Yes, oh yes, anything for your radiant and glorious Majesty and esteemed guest," he quipped sarcastically, before returning to the kitchen.
While she had no idea what was going on, Sunset couldn't help but giggle merrily at the pair's antics. "You certainly have an interesting rapport with owner."
"Ah yes," Luna nodded, a look of amusement on her face. "His name is Joe, and he is very precious to me. He is one of my very few true friends," she explained wistfully, before once again wrapping a wing around Sunset for a quick hug. "Though I suppose it is not quite so few anymore now."
Sunset found herself leaning into the brief contact, the hug ending just as Joe returned with a mug and a small plate bearing a donut covered in spiking patterns of gold and red frosting. "Here you are, one personalized donut, and a cup of Princess Luna's Up All Night Staring At The Moon™ blend."
Sunset looked curiously from Joe to the cup and back again. "Is...is that really what it's called?"
Joe nodded. "She kept swooping in, middle of the night, and drinking me out of all my strongest coffee. No one would ever say anything of course, but I could tell it was getting to some of my more caffeine dependent regulars in the morning. Seemed natural to look into getting some stronger stuff, see if I could get her down to just a cup or two," he explained, seeming to enjoy recounting the tale of Luna's custom coffee.
"Of course, I first tried asking Twilight Sparkle, cause that silly mare must have experimented with super coffee at some point right? Even before she got her wings." At that point he got a brief nostalgic smile, thinking of one of his other favorite customers, before returning to his story. "Turns out Twilight does have her own special coffee, but she figured it still wouldn't have been strong enough for Princess Insomnia over here..." At that Luna shot him a quick glare over the rim of her cup, which she had been slurping happily from for the past few minutes. Joe responded with a smug grin.
"So from there, Twilight introduced me to a Zebra friend of hers, Zecora, some kinda apothecary or something, lives out in the Everfree of all places. Nice lady though, long as you can get past the constant rhyming...anyways I'm gettin off track here. I explain to her my problem, and she whips me up a cup of coffee. Smells great, but otherwise it doesn't seem any different from my normal stuff at a glance. She, in not so few words, tells me to just shut up and taste it, so I do. Next thing I know, I haven't slept in three nights, I've repainted the shop, reupholstered all the booths and stools, and come up with fourteen new donut recipes...and then I slept for four days." With that Joe gave Sunset's mug of seemingly normal coffee a mistrustful glare. "Needless to say Miss Zecora gets very well compensated for one small bag of it every week, and I never touch the stuff."
Sunset too now was staring at the mug in front of her, a look of vague horror in her eyes. "A-are you serious? That can't possibly be true, right?"
Luna gave Sunset a cat-like smile, prodding the mug a bit closer towards her. "You could always give it a taste and find out," she suggested with mock innocence, causing Joe to grimace and Sunset to get even more nervous.
"Um....M-Mr. Joe, I think I'll just have a regular coffee instead...decaf..." Sunset said meekly after trying and failing to stare down the monster coffee.
"You got it kid!" Joe quickly turned around and shuffled back towards the kitchen, visibly shaking with poorly repressed snickering, much to Sunset's confusion.
Just as Joe disappeared, a blue hoof reached over and snapped up Sunset's mug from the counter in front of her, causing Sunset to look beside her and see that Luna was also trying to hold back laughter as she began drinking what was formerly Sunset's coffee. "AUUUUUUUUGH! You guys were totally messing with me weren't you!?" Sunset groaned.
At that, the quiet snickering drifting from the kitchen broke into full blown laughter, joined by the hearty chuckling of the alicorn next to her. "I can't believe I fell for all that so easily! It was so ridiculous!" Sunset fumed. "Gimme that!" She snatched the mug and took a quick sip, turning to give Luna a smug grin. As she turned however, she realized Luna's expression had changed from amusement to absolute shock, bordering on panic.
"Sunset...just because we were using the story to play a joke on you...doesn't mean it wasn't true..." Luna whispered worriedly.
"You...you're joking again...right?" Sunset whimpered, already feeling a strange rush coming on.
"JOE, GET THE EMERGENCY SLEEPY-TIME-TEA, STAT!!!"
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Witness the POWER OF COFFEE!!!!
So much yes.
Although Joe forgot the sprinkles.
Ah, coffee. Never touch the stuff. I get my caffeine from Coca-Cola.
Where can i Yawn.... get a bag of that coffee?
Dear Celestia...
6201396
same here tho with coca cola zero (diabetic) and tea (the fruity kind)
WHATEVER YOU DO DON'T GIVE THAT TO PINKIE OR IT'S THE END OF THE WORLD!
And thus Too Much Coffee Mare was born. Her powers are a dark roast of responsibility.
6191790
The sirens are about a thousand years old, yet look like teenagers too, human Celestia is like 1960 years younger than pony Celestia, Spike is obviously a lot younger as a dog, otherwise he would be senile, arthritic and near his life's end if he kept his dragon age, Cheerilee is about Rarity's age, yet is a middle age teacher in humania, so she got aged up, the CMC are at the most 3 years younger than the mane six in humania given that they also are in high school, so they also got aged up.
By the movie the portal remained open for the same period of time on both places, so time compression on one side is not likely a thing.
Those ages mean absolutely nothing, it's an alternate universe with an alternate timeline and alternate ages where Equestrians seem to not age like the locals do, because magic. Just keep the ages consistent to Equestrian time, since that's where the story takes place.
Give it to Pinkie...
6201462
Pinkie?
You're not thinking destructively enough.
Better idea: this coffee + the CMC = XK-class end-of-the-world scenario.
Another enjoyable chapter. Great job.
The dark path of coffee is fraught with much peril and sleep deprivation.
6201558 more like the end of space and time
Sunset Shimmer as a Royal Guardsmare? Interesting. I'm guessing that Luna and Twilight are the only ponies able to drink that brew and live.
omg give 4 cups to the cmc and pinkie at the same time i would love to see the chaos unfold
Sunset mane will catch on fire...
6201558 I'd say that the CMC + coffee actually equals Discord out of a job.
6201603 I hadn't thought about what would happen if Twilight got her hooves on some...interesting
The only reason Joe lived is because he is so used to long days and nights of running the shop already.
Why did you stop there? Aww I wanted to see the result of the monster coffee.
6201553 Are you crazy!?!
6201558 Are you crazier!?!?!
Either way, just send me to the moon. It's the only safe place away from their wrath.
6201635 It will likely be the start of the next intermission chapter, as I too wanna see how that plays out lol
"So, turns out the secret ingredient is just water! Yes, ordinary tap water, with about 500mg/mL of crystal meth!"
Oh please please Continue where this leaves off! I want to see what happens and how the other react to HYPER SUNSET!
.... XDDDD at the end there.
6201553
6201558
Nope! Big nope! Not happening!
Sleep's okay, but it's no substitute for caffeine.
6201587 That's a ZK Class.
6201558 Hello? The SCP Foundation? Yes, I'd like to report some caffeine-filled fillies for immedient containment...
6201616 Yeah, pretty much.
ts1.mm.bing.net/th?&id=JN.RFQzfLYKhK4oGFXpacgU1A&w=300&h=300&c=0&pid=1.9&rs=0&p=0
ts1.mm.bing.net/th?&id=JN.WN%2bDhQqLNdvPijjDMl9E3A&w=300&h=300&c=0&pid=1.9&rs=0&p=0
Now, now. If you really want to do something scary with that coffee I'll tell you. Give it to Pinkie, and the CMC (four cups each). Then you let them at the Reapers from Mass Effect and let Shepard enjoy a vacation.
What would happen if you give this brand of coffee to the CMC, Pinkie, Twilight, Rainbow Dash, Derpy and Celestia?... at the same time
Don't worry, just call in the Ponyville construction crews after the dust settles. They're used to rebuilding towns inside of a week.
Also, the whole Luna x Sunset BFFs concept is fantastic. Especially what you're doing with it.
Sunset is not going to end up vibrating so fast that she is going to phase into another dimensions is she?
Then again that could be one way to get back to CHS
The next chapter should be the Hyper Sunset going crazy across Canterlot before Joe and Luna administers the Sleepy-Time-Tea. Sunset sure got herself goosed over on a ridiculous joke. I wonder how Princess Celestia and Principal Celestia will react?
Meanwhile...
This was a good chapter. I DEMAND MORE CHAPTERS PLEASE!
I need that coffee
Must... have... coffee... recipe...
Really liked this chapter. Looking forward to Celestia finding her socks. When you finish this story, I will happily beg for a Sunset/Luna spinoff story. Heck, I'm will to start now to save time... PWEEESSSE!
6201558 Please do give to Ponyville School for the children, Think of the children.
6201462 Negative. Its party like its The End Of The World As You Know It. "Today I Princess Celestia, Hereby crowns, Empress Pinkamena Diane Pie. For today, Empress Pinkamena Diane Pie, has created a whole new world out of Discord, Smooze, Teric and The Dazzlings. Everypony, Now bow to the Empress."
6201616 No Discord would be hired to keep the CMC wrangled. Pinkie Pie would be Princess Twilight Sparkle's Responsibility.
6201627 As I got to this remark. I realize something. Sunset Shimmer goes okay you made "Redbull slash Monster slash Rockstar slash coffee. Still too weak."
Well, this'll be fun. Sunset hopped up on that much caffeine can only end in hilarity.
Hah, this was a fun chapter. Nice work.
Will there ever be a chapter that doesn't end with some pony yelling?
6202491 Blasphemer!
Next time on my little pony- The fate of Equestria hangs by a thread as Twilight Sparkle faces her most dangerous foe yet: the CMC after getting their hooves on some of this coffee
Love the banter and the rapport between all three ponies in this chapter, very good job! ^_^
Transversally related to the title... or is it tangentially... or maybe cosine... eh, screw it. Did you know Hollywood may be committing heresy again by attempting a BTiLC remake?
We must BURN HOLLYWOOD TO THE GROUND for daring to tarnish one of us nerds most beloved hokey campy 80's movies with Kurt Russel!
Meanwhile, the Flash is zooming along at top speed when suddenly an orange and yellow streak roars past him, shattering transdimensional barriers one after another. The Flash stops dead with his jaw hanging, "Was that... a talking pony screaming something about being able to see through time?"
The Coffee of the Gods is not meant for mortal central nervous systems.
another great chapter. Love the character interactions. Died laughing at the reverse in the joke at the end there.
6202871
Perhaps she can taste speed. Ooh! I wonder which is her favorite...