//------------------------------// // 9: Ups and Downs // Story: Principal of Equestria // by MareDoVVell //------------------------------// Sunset felt like she was literally on fire. She looked like it too, her red and gold hair shooting off her head in twisting spikes and cowlicks from nervously running her hooves through it over and over again, mixed with the non-stop sheen of sweat that had clung to her since she took a sip of that Faust-forsaken coffee. She rocked gently back and forth on her stool, clutching her mug of extra strength sleepy-time-tea, trying very hard not to squeeze it too hard and shatter it like the previous two she'd been handed. Shakily, with more of it ending up on her coat than in her mouth, she managed to take a small sip while staring fixedly at a nearby wall clock. Luna on the other hand, was staring at Sunset, a grimace creasing her face. "This is bad Joe, what do we do? What do we do!?" she whimpered, wracking her brain for any ideas. "If my sister finds out I pretty much poisoned one of her Proteges as a joke, it'll be back to the moon for sure! Oh and not to mention, I think she's pretty much my best friend. I made a best friend, and then I killed her, killed her Joe!" she moaned, grabbing Joe by the collar of his apron and shaking him back and forth. Joe was content to let her finish marehandling him before lazily rolling the cigarette he had just lit between his teeth and pulling a sheet of paper from beneath the counter. There was a protocol to these kinds of situations. Politely show other patrons out of shop - check Lock all doors and windows - check Administer soothing teas - check Clean up mug shards - check Find secret pack of cigarettes your wife doesn't know you still have - check Chain smoke until all is well again - in progress Thank Twilight again for making and laminating this checklist - TBC After reviewing the list he took a long drag from the cigarette, sighing as he exhaled. "Try not to worry too much Princess. It's never killed anyone before. She hasn't even gone into shock or a coma, so I think we are pretty much in the clear." he soothed while laying a hoof on Luna's shoulder, his calm tone a strange contrast to what he was actually saying. "You really think she'll be ok?" Luna asked hopefully. "I think I finally understand string theory properly..." Sunset muttered, still staring unblinkingly at the clock. Luna's eye twitched. Joe sighed again, pinching the bridge of his snout with a hoof. "Look, the way I see it, you've got two options. The first, we keep her here for a bit, until we get enough tea into her that it's safe to cart her back to the castle, then you lock her in a guest room for a couple days to sleep it off. She'll probably be bored out of her mind and hate every minute of it, but you know she'll be safe. The other option is....well..." Joe hesitated, figuring what he was about to say wasn't exactly a good idea medically, but then again this was a Princess he was talking to, she'd be responsible, right? "...so she's chock full of stimulants right? A lot of them. The way I see it, put enough depressants in her, and I figure it'll counteract the effects...maybe..." he finished with a shrug. Luna bit her lower lip as she frantically tried to process both of Joe's suggestions. She would be safe in the castle, but she'd probably hate me for locking her up, and you of all ponies know what that's like...but would force feeding her drugs really be better? Even if she didn't get mad about that it wouldn't exactly be safe... What could I even give her? Depressants, depressants, let's see here... Barbiturates? Terrible idea... Opiates? Worse idea... Cannabis? Too hard to find in Equestria... Wait a minute... Her eyes widened as she realized the perfect solution. She could save her new friend from the awful side effects of her poorly thought out prank, and maybe even have some fun together in the process. "Joe! Where's the nearest bar?" Author's note: This is not how drugs actually work, like at all. Please do not attempt this. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ On one hoof, Sunset was feeling much better now, on the other, she was also feeling fairly drunk as she tossed back yet another shot, placing the empty glass back on the table next to its five similarly empty friends. She let out a satisfied sigh, a dopey smile drifting across her muzzle. "What did you say these were again?" she slurred, struggling to focus her vision across the table onto Luna. Luna finished taking a dainty sip from the tall, colorful drink in front of her before fixing Sunset with a mischievous grin. "Something that will hopefully get you back to normal...and one of the only substances capable of getting Tia properly drunk, but that's beside the point." Sunset giggled in response, wobbling a bit in her seat. "If the goal was for me to feel normal then I probably should have stopped after the first two!" she bubbled, before slumping forward onto the table and closing her eyes, a happy smile still plastered on her face. Luna took the opportunity to silently cheer and pump a hoof in the air. "I can't believe she's asleep!" she whispered to herself excitedly. Getting this far hadn't been the smoothest process. Luna got enough looks when walking down the street as it was, and levitating a pony behind her in a straight-jacket made of what was clearly Luna's own magic hadn't really helped matters. "I think I deserve a little reward..." she continued to whisper as she scooped up one of the few unfinished shots from the tray next to them. Luna had made sure plenty were on hand, figuring the little unicorn had to pass out eventually. With a victorious grin, she quickly poured the tiny dose of alcohol into her mouth. At that same moment, Sunset's eyes shot open and she grabbed onto one of Luna's hooves. "LUNA! I need your advice!" To her credit, while she came very close to unintentionally spitting the shot she had just taken all over Sunset's face, Luna instead managed to forcefully swallow the now burning liquid before giving a slightly exaggerated gag. Recovering quickly and shoving aside her disappointment that Sunset was not in fact safely passed out, she let her curiosity take over. "I'd be happy to help if I can, what's the matter?" "Well it's...I...I..." It was fairly apparent that Sunset was stammering from something besides inebriation, as her cheeks changed from the light pink of several drinks to the bright red of flustered embarrassment. She wasn't really quite sure why she felt compelled to tell Luna, but advice from her other friends hadn't really helped much, so maybe it was time for a new perspective. "...I have a crush on somepony!" Luna nodded slowly, not really sure if she was supposed to be surprised that a healthy mare in the prime of her life had a romantic interest in another pony. "Go on...?" Sunset swallowed hard, nerves managing to cut through some of the haze of alcohol that had made her brave enough to even start the conversation. Realizing she was in too deep to turn back now, she decided it was best to just rip the bandage from the wound. "I think I love Twilight Sparkle!" she squeaked, hiding her face in her hooves immediately afterward. Mischief sparked back into Luna's eyes as she listened to Sunset's confession with an only slightly evil looking grin. "Twilight hmm? That's a shame, had I known you were interested in mares I might have asked if you wanted to be my consort rather than if you wanted to be my friend," she teased, giving Sunset a dramatic wink. Sunset gasped as she immediately sat straight up in her seat, gaping at Luna in surprise. This general state of shock seemed to persist for a few seconds until something finally snapped in her mind. "Alright look, give me like two more of those drinks and we can totally make out a bit later if you want, but for now, how am I supposed to deal with this Twilight thing?" It was Luna's turn to blush as she briefly tried to figure out if Sunset was teasing her back or was serious, but after a moment she gave up on that line of thought to address the question at hoof. "I'm not sure I understand what the problem is," she admitted with a shrug. "As far as I know you get along pretty well and have plenty in common. I'm sure you'd make a fine couple." Sunset gave Luna an annoyed look. "Seriously? You too? Why is it every time I tell one of my friends about this they're like oh you two will be so cute together, when's the wedding? It's never oh don't you live in different worlds, or oh isn't Twilight interested in that Flash guy, or oh even if she doesn't like that guy anymore, she apparently likes guys. I just wanna get past these dumb feelings already." She crossed her forelegs with a huff as she finished. As she listened to Sunset's arguments, Luna found herself smirking yet again. "Well, frankly I think you are worrying over nothing," she said confidently. Sunset just raised a brow, prompting Luna to continue. "For one thing, the pair of you are the most clever and intelligent ponies I've ever had the pleasure of meeting, and if you really wanted to be together, I don't think you'd let being in different dimensions get in the way of that." Sunset could feel her scowl slowly dissipating as she listened to Luna, but she was far from convinced she should abandon her plan of getting over Twilight in favor of one to pursue her. "I-I suppose, but that doesn't exactly change the issue of her orientation, or her current interests." Luna rolled her eyes before placing a hoof on Sunset's shoulder. "Trust me, I've had to excuse myself from enough of Twilight's weird dreams about my sister to know she has no qualms about being involved romantically with the fairer sex, not to mention..." Luna lowered her voice to a conspiratorial whisper. "...it has been quite awhile since she has had any dreams about Flash Sentry at all." Was it a lie? Yes. Did Luna care? Not at all, especially when she knew Twilight was dreaming of Sunset fairly often as well. Sunset had spent so long telling herself she had no chance whatsoever that the tiny wisp of hope she was being handed had made her feel practically giddy. "You really think I have a chance?" Luna just nodded, giving her an encouraging smile. "Maybe...maybe I should try and tell her...ugh but I get so nervous, even just thinking about it!" Sunset pressed her hooves to her temples. "Why is this so hard!" she whined, trying to review all her thoughts and feelings about Twilight, at least until a stray thought distracted her. "Wait, you can see into ponies' dreams?" "Yessssss...?" replied Luna, not sure why doing so suddenly made her feel very uncomfortable. "How often do you walk in on somepony...y'know, doin it with you?" "...more often than I'd like to admit considering I've only been back in the public eye for a few years...to say nothing of the times when it's the old me" "I bet you've seen some weird stuff...ever stuck around to watch?" "CAN WE STOP TALKING ABOUT THIS PLEASE!?"