Hypothetically speaking, of course
"Heeeey theeeere, Tavi!"
"Hello, Vinyl."
"How was your trip?"
"Um... It was okay? I just went to the market and back. It isn't like I went to Saddle Arabia."
"Haha! Of course. That would be completely silly and a totally unexpected thing to do, and that's not your style."
"I should think not. Would you mind helping me put these groceries away?"
"Oh boy, would I ever love to help you put these groceries away!"
"O...kay? Here. The vegetables go in the fridge, and the fruit will be in the cupboards. Oh, and mind the apples. I'm planning on making a pie with them, and bruised apples never make good pies."
"Great! I'm so glad I could help you put these groceries away, bestest roomie ever!"
"Vinyl..."
"Yes, Tavi?"
"What's going on?"
"Going on? What do you mean, 'What's going on?' I'm just lending a hoof and horn to my best friend to help with putting away the groceries you picked up while away at the market and not in Saddle Arabia. There's absolutely nothing else going on. Scout's honor."
"Don't give me that manure. You were never a scout."
"Maybe, but they've got a lot of honor!"
"...You didn't clog the toilet again, did you?"
"What? No way! I learned it's limits the first time, so I always flush mid-go just to be safe. Why would you even think that?"
"That's a bit more information than I needed, Vinyl. Remember to be careful with the apples."
"Huh? Oh, right."
"So if you didn't clog the toilet, and there's nothing going on, why are you here in the kitchen, acting like a foal caught making a mess?"
"Ehehe... I, uh, actually have a question to ask you."
"Oh?"
"Yep. A question that only my bestest and most trusted friend - that's you - can answer."
"Uh-huh... So what is it?"
"Hypothetically speaking... What would you do if, say, you found a teeny tiny, itsy bitsy, almost-impossible-to-detect little nick in your cello's finish?"
"..."
"...Tavi?"
"...That depends."
"On...?"
"On where this hypothetical nick was located."
"Uh... The front?"
"Hmm... The front is a bad place for a nick to be. After all, it's the front that everypony sees when one plays a cello in front of a crowd. For instance, in the upcoming symphony. Especially when one just happens to have a solo. Such a blemish could tarnish if not outright destroy a cellist's professional credibility."
"Would it? That would be awful."
"Indeed, but to answer your original question, I would first wonder how the nick got there, as my cello should have been in its case. A sturdy, hard plastic case, with padded interior I might add, that is supposed to prevent that sort of thing from happening."
"That sounds reasonable enough."
"A few seconds later, once I realized that the only way such a travesty could possibly have occured would be the cello being removed from its case, I would ask myself 'Why was my cello not inside its case?' A mystery if there ever was one, as I distinctly remember putting it away this morning before coming out to fix pancakes."
"Those were delicious, by the way."
"Thank you. A short moment after stumbling upon this mystery, it would occur to me that somepony must have taken it out of its case, sometime between when I left for the market and just a few minutes ago, when I returned home. Outside that timeframe, I would have heard the case being opened or shut."
"O-of course! It does make a clicky sound, doesn't it?"
"That it does, Vinyl. That it does. A very distinct clicky sound. There were clicky sounds neither before I left nor in the recent minutes after returning home, and that means it could only have been done while I was away. That is the only time this hypothetical criminal could possibly assault my cello."
"C-criminal? Assault?!"
"Of course! After all, only a criminal would break into somepony's apartment, open up a musician's instrument and leave such a catastrophic deformation upon its beautiful exterior. Isn't that right, bestest roomie?"
"O-of course! A criminal mastermind, hehe..."
"After that, I would track the criminal with my cello and a small brush in tow."
"Huh? Why would you bring your cello with you?"
"So I could pin her to the floor with the endpin. The point is a little blunt, but with enough force, it would serve as an excellent skewer. Afterward, I'd use the brush to fix my cello's blemish with the new paint I'd found on the floor."
"Oh... I see..."
"Hmm? Is something the matter, Vinyl? You look a little paler than usual. Does this completely hypothetical situation bother you? Does such a heinous criminal not deserve her completely hypothetical justice for marring the beauty and grace of my instrument?"
"Actually, I was thinking more about my next question..."
"You have another? And what would that be?"
"Well... What would happen to said completely hypothetical criminal if, say, the damage done to your cello wasn't exactly a nick?"
"...Vinyl, what have you done..."
"What if that nick was more along the lines of, oh, I don't know... a snapped scroll? Ehehe..."
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This is very cute
For some reason, I was reading Vinyl's lines like this at 2:11
5941267
I'm glad you liked it.
5941273
The first few lines sounded exactly like that as I was writing them!
Vinyl's dead, isn't she?
Wow. Tested out spritz on this. Anyone who reads this comment and is up to it. you NEED to check out spritz. finally i can read through hundreds of stories a night *evil laugh* http://www.spritzinc.com/ im at 550 so far. gonna work up to 700 or even 1000 xD
Dead Vinyl
Hmm, the scroll isn't a vital part of the cello, and as long as the pegbox isn't affected, it's still totally playable, if unattractive.
A luthier can probably carve what's left of it into something nice, I guess.
But what's for certain, is that Vinyl's mince-meat.
5941961 cool story bro.
5943180 Yep. have a cupcake *gives cupcake* now go back into your cave Mr Troll. We don't want or need you here.
Ha! Well administer'd wit! Save thee and thy story!
What was Vinyl doing with Tavi's cello in the first place? Trying to be Octavia or something?
5943351
Unless it's for other mlp related stories, I'd appreciate it if you didn't advertise in the comments section.
5941455 5941979 5943488
Vinyl's, well... Maybe we'll find out some other time.
LMFAO!!!
Best comedy I've read in a while.
Lol this was cute. Bad Vinyl!
*its
5943351
Who's we? We'd rather have him here than you. Get the hell out you walking advertisement.
5944160 i use it only for this site -_-. i read 80 something chapters and vastly cleared up my read later list with it just last night. i mean, old fashion way is nice, but everyone deserves a far superior way to read here. lets face it, anyone whos been on this site more then a month probably has a read later list with a hundred or so things in it... dont use it if you dont want to, but those of us who do will leave you far behind. not to mention free so why not.
5947151 refer to statement i posted before this one because i forgot to tag you. i am not trying to advertise anything, i don't make anything off it so why bother. its free and overall quite useful. Heck, i could call this story being in featured list an ad. the featured lists "advertises" well written stories to everyone here. sharing something useful a large majority of people could easily find useful and blatant advertising and self promotion are two VASTLY different things, so check your facts.
5949881
All I heard was bullshit bullshit bullshit. You are bullshitting and not very good at it. You blatantly advertised, trying to redefine how we work in our community does not win you any points or justify what you've done. Do be a dear and leave.
5950006 Its hardheaded people like you who make the internet a general pain...
5949869
1) There isn't a "superior" way of reading. Your method is great for blazing through a story. I could see it coming in handy for getting through stories with really long chapters quickly, like FoE, Background Pony, or The Sweetie Chronicles. Something that isn't normally doable in a quick, 5-15 minute sitting per chapter. But many prefer just to relax and enjoy a story. They may choose to reread a section they liked or didn't quite understand, and then move on when they're ready, rather than having to keep up with a program that sets the pace for them.
2) The read later list isn't some sort of back log that you have to catch up on before you can move forward. Found a story that interests you? Great! Read it! But what if you found more than one at a time? That's where the read it later list comes in. Personally, I think it's a great way to save a story for those times when you can't find anything you like and want to read something you haven't yet. Those of us who have at least one story on the list will always have something to fall back on. Blowing through 80 stories as fast as possible defeats the purpose.
3) We "old fashioned" readers aren't worried about getting "left behind." If there's this really awesome story out there, we'll read it at our own pace and enjoy every minute of it. Not every few seconds of it.
4) You found that program. Other people have found that program. People who want to read really fast like you do will look for the program and find it or something similar to it. But they aren't going to come to the comments section of a story only a few hundred people have read; instead, they're going to go to google. There's no need to promote it here.
5949881
5) Advertising doesn't require you making anything off of it. People who wear MLP t-shirts aren't necessarily making any money from Hasbro.
6) You say "so why bother" and immediately continue doing it in the next sentence. If there's no reason to, why bother doing it again?
7) The featured and popular stories boxes are indeed advertisements, showing off good stories that people may be interested in. The difference between that advertisement and yours is when people want to read MLP fanfiction, they come to FimFiction to find good stories. People don't come here to learn about speed reading aides.
8) You do know that advertising is as simple as spreading the word about something, right? If I went around saying "Read Hydran's story," that would be an advertisement. "Look at this program," is also an advertisement. The MLP t-shirts from earlier are also advertisements. The only difference between that and self promotion is who is advertising whom. If I went around saying "Read my story," that would be me advertising my work, or self promotion.
5950057 5950006
In my experience, hardheaded people are only hardheaded about something they care about. Reading the way we want to is something a lot of people care about, and as I said before, if really we want to do something different, we'll do it on our own. Hardheads aren't going to change their minds easily, nor should someone try to force them to. Please don't bring it up again.
I laughed, I cried... I prepared a coffin for Vinyl... Rest in Peace child, rest in piece.
Hahahaha, nice job.
I've done a dramatic read on your fan fic
5972494
Um, thanks. I can't honestly say I expected anyone to do that for one of my stories
th06.deviantart.net/fs70/150/f/2013/204/b/7/angry_octavia_by_hesh4500-d6ev0ow.png : ...You snapped the scroll...? As in...one of the most visual decorative parts of my cello...?
encrypted-tbn1.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcSfa3Ma_dtRhXNBa_Du0AmRLI-ndCf-HLRJxMUn-PBB-cSIUalQ : Uh, yeah...I'm so sorry about that...you forgive me right...best friend...?
th06.deviantart.net/fs70/150/f/2013/204/b/7/angry_octavia_by_hesh4500-d6ev0ow.png : ...Vinyl?
encrypted-tbn1.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcSfa3Ma_dtRhXNBa_Du0AmRLI-ndCf-HLRJxMUn-PBB-cSIUalQ : ...Yeah Tavi...?
encrypted-tbn2.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcTYrCeKAuwGmpmWep2hJlaHGo3uqELSZUERr0XRbnOIdcbDGW3w : I'M GOING TO DESTROY YOU!!!
(I do not own any images. They were all found on Google Images. Credit goes to their respective owners. Also, RIP Vinyl Scratch.)
a snapped scroll -- guess the pink fluffy handcuffs are coming out or maybe just the whip
Did someone ask for a fan fiction read? No? Well here ya go anyway
6341337 dang it, you beat me too it Asto
6533285
Well, there's no one stopping you from doing one yourself. After all, Astro was beaten by Scorpion.
6536981 Indeed bt I try to avoid doing duplicates lol
6538008
Fair enough :)
Vinyl here's some advice, basically run.
Love the story! Would love to do a fanfiction reading of this story! :D
Bam! Even have voice actors. You're welcome XD
I 'ad a giggle, mate. :V
You can has review!
9458047
Well, look at that! I appreciate the kind words. By the way, how did you find this story? It's been a hot minute since it was written.
9470501
I can’t say with 100% certainty since I selected it for reading literally over a year ago, but I think with reasonable confidence it popped up in the “Also Liked/Similar/Author” lists that show up on the right side of the screen while I was looking at another story. That’s just a guess, though.